Well...it is here...the end of 2016.


With the closing of 2016, we also come to the end of this blog; TheThankYouYear.


It may sound trite, but I want to say thank you to everyone who has read my posts, all 176 of them.
176....not the 365 that I had hoped for


8 loyal readers...not the following I'd hoped for, but more than enough to make me realize I had to keep writing. I knew I had to keep writing for myself and for you all, even after my father passed away in June.


As I am sure you all noticed, my posts got less frequent as we entered the later stages of the year. Well, that was a direct effect of the fact that I just didn't have anything interesting to say as we progressed through the year.


I have had a year to forget and a year to remember.
As you al already know, I lost my father soon after finding out he had pancreatic cancer. That was the worst thing that has ever happened to me...so far.




I have not only survived a heart attack, but made myself better for it. At the beginning of this blog, I could barely walk a mile without losing my breath. At the end, I could run 3 miles without thinking of it as a hard workout. I went from 170 pounds to 145. I no longer have high cholesterol.


I also learned how hard it is to reflect on your life every day. There are days that, upon reflection, really don't warrant spending the time to write about them. There are days that you can't wait to get to the computer and start writing. And, there are days that you just wish you could forget.


Through it all though, I have really had a good time writing for you. I can only hope that you enjoyed reading about me and my recovery.


While my recovery is not over (far from it), the life of this blog is. I called it TheThankYouYear for a reason. I really don't have much of interest to write about, and I don't have much opportunity to tell my story anymore....pretty much everyone has heard it.


SO, with nothing much to say, no words of wisdom to impart, it is time to say good bye, and thank you for being a part of my year-long show my appreciation to everyone who helped save my life, who helped Ashley get through those early days, who has been there for us since November 22, 2015.


So, one final time....THANK YOU.


That's all, except for.........




Good night & God bless.

Travels are complete, gifts are wrapped  (finally) and children are nestled all snug on the floor....

Okay, so it is not the traditional version of that poem, but you get the idea.

Sorry I have not posted in quite some time, but that is sort of a reflection of what has been going on lately; not much of note.

This will be my 2nd Christmas since the heart attack, and the first "normal" one. Last year, Ashley was afraid to let me stand for the mass, this year I could have run 3 miles during mass (maybe 5....it was a long service).

SO much has changed in the 365 days since we last celebrated the birth of Jesus, some good some not so much. But, in all not the worst year I could have had.

I've recently started making a more concerted effort to talk to my mom every few days. I think that is the best t h ing that has happened to me in the last little while.

She is a wonderful woman, a good mom and someone who, when the dementia is not taking over, is full of more love and caring that most. Yha5God for giving me this extra time on earth to remember that.

Well, time for my not-so-long winters nap.

Merry Christmas, ano, as always.....

Good night, and God bless.

Wow...I just got a really interesting Facebook post.




Anyone want to guess what it is? GO, ahead, y'all are pretty smart guess. I'll wait...




<<Jeopardy Theme>>






No, really, guess...


<<pregnant pause>>






Oh, alright, I'll tell you, but you are gonna kick yourselves for not guessing.


Today is the one year anniversary of this blog!
It has been one year since my first post went public.




I have been writing to you for exactly 1 year & I want to thank you all who are still with me for the privilege. It has truly been an honor to share my story with you all.


While I have not been as faithful as I had hoped in writing every night, I have tried to give you all a full understanding of the emotions and the rollercoaster ride that is the recovery from a heart attack.


It truly has been a wild ride a rollercoaster of emotions, weight gain & loss, and physical "confidence". There have been days I have felt like I could run a marathon and days I wondered if I was going to live to see the sun.


Even my readership has taken the ride, I have been as high as 100+ readers and as low as 5 on certain days.


There are only about 2 weeks left in the life of this little exercise. I hope that somewhere in between now and 12/31, I can come up with something interesting to say and give someone an inspiration to get better, go higher, be happier.


Talk to you all tomorrow.


Good night & God bless.

So....
....what does anyone want to talk about?


I'll be honest, I am starting to run out of things to talk about.
Things are pretty much becoming, well, plain...normal....ordinary.




My day is starting with getting kids ready for school, moving into working and trying to fit everything in, and ending with wondering how I will handle it all tomorrow.


Dare I say that, unless something bad happens, the condition of my heart doesn't figure into the day.




I wish I had some great philosophical comment to make, or some great teaching experiment. But...I do not.


Maybe that is the great philosophical comment...
After almost a year, I am finally starting to "move past" my heart attack.....


Let's hope that I can continue that process well after the end of this blog is just over 2 weeks.


Good night & God bless.

Wow gang, I am slipping....I am sorry.
You know how the holiday season can be though.


Today was a tough day. Just "one of those days" that seemed to start okay but quickly went downhill.


It ended with me causing a bunch of trouble getting my oldest to his Boy Scout event.
His Troop was performing at an Assisted Living facility & I was supposed to meet him at home to take him.

Long story short (the details of the mess up are not relevant), He got to the event, but I was RUNNING to make sure I caught the performance.


Two things ran through m head as I was entering the building.
1. Geez I PRAY that I am not late.
2. This is WAY too stressful for me right now.


For the first time tonight, there was no feeling of, "well at least I was HERE to mess things up."
Nope....pure and simple, all I could think about was not being that dad; the one who JUST misses his son performing. The one whose work "gets in the way".


At just over a year out, the heart attack became a non-issue.


Is that good, or bad?
I don't know. I am not sure. All I know is, I felt like CRAP knowing that I almost messed up my son's night.....and that is all that mattered.


It was just for that brief second as I was at my highest point of worry that my son was looking for me only to not be able to see me, that I worried about my heart; that I was thinking that it was enough to "just be alive for this."


I guess that means things are getting back to "normal"....whatever that means.


Good night & God bless.

It is 10:30.
I am sitting in front of a slowly smoldering fire.
My kids are snuggled in front of the fire.


It is 10:30.
I am happy.


Today was an interesting day at rehab; it was the holiday party.
THIS is the table of goodies we had available to us for the party:

You will notice that there is a whole lot of good food. You will notice there is NOT a whole lot "good FOR you" food.


Well, I did my best to be "good." While I did have 1 or 2 things not good for me, I mostly ate fresh veggies and fruit. If fact, if you see a fruit tray in the picture, it is the one I brought.


I was very glad to see what was on that table. What I saw was not all good, nutritious food....
....and the rehab staff was OKAY with it being there. Knowing that will help me feel better about myself if I ever "fall off the wagon." It is nice to know that even the cardiac rehab staff admits it is okay to splurge every-once-in-a-while.


THANK GOD!


That is about it for tonight; I am in a good place...and...I found out that those days when I felt terrible for eating some goodies, I didn't need to be TOO hard on myself. It happens; sometimes even WITH approval from the medical staff.


So, if you are out there reading...don't let a single day of "breaking the rules" get you down.




Good night & God bless.

I walked into the rehab facility today & my weight lifting machine was gone.


Well, CRAP!
Can't believe it, but they took away my weight lifting equipment!


What are they thinking?!?!? That was there for ME...MEMEMEMEME!!!!!!




What?




Wait, really?




Oh, okay then...




Whew! As it turns out they are REPLACING the weight lifting equipment; MY weight lifting equipment (isn't it nice of me to allow the rest of the hospital patients to use my equipment?).


Next week there is supposed to be some shiny new stuff sitting where the old stuff was. I hope so for their sake, or there will be QUITE the tantrum.


Till then, I'll need to make due with some dumbbells, or make a special trip to the YMCA each day.


I can't wait to see the new stuf. Of course, the only bad part is....
....I didn't even get to say good-bye to the old stuff.


"Good bye old friend."


Have a great night y'all.


Good night & God bless.

Well, well, well, I bet you all thought I had given up a few weeks short of finishing the year didn't you?


Well, after a weekend and a couple of nights of children demanding that I lay with them, I finally have a chance to get back to TheThankYouYear.


I needed to look back at some of my older posts and it brought back some memories. Some are pretty cool, and some are pretty scary.


In looking back, I noticed that I am coming up on another 1 year anniversary. Can you remember what it is? It will be on December 16/17. It is sort of a two part celebration.


Anyone that wants to guess, send me a message.


Today wasn't anything special, but yesterday was cool because I did some resistance training for the first time in WEEKS. I had to cut back some of the weight, but that is a pretty normal occurrence when you skip lifting days.


What was cool, was that I had no concern for my cardiac health. I cut back on the weight because I didn't want to damage any of the muscles I was using to lift the weights. But...my heart never really entered the conversation.


I was really happy when I realized that fact.
I am really happy with where I have been able to bring my physical health over this last year.


Thanks for coming along on this ride with me.


Good night & God bless.

Today has been a pretty regular day. Worked out at rehab, worked and then got to hang with my kids.
The nice part about today is I set my treadmill at 6 MPH for the whole 30 minutes.


What is nice about that workout is that I set the treadmill at 6 MPH because I wanted to take it easy today. I have been pushing and pushing to keep doing better each week and today, I just needed a bit of a break.


SO, with a treadmill set at 6 MPH for 30 minutes, that means I ran....


...let's see....


...6x30.....


....carry the two.....


....YES! You got it, that means I did 3 miles (okay a LITTLE less since I warmed up the first couple of minutes) in 30 minutes and considered it a "break day".


That makes me feel really good. It makes all the work seem like it did something.
I still feel a little afraid that I am not really working hard enough, and that I should be even FURTHER along. But, I guess when it is all said and done, the fact that I can run 3 miles and call it taking a break, I shouldn't feel too bad.


I hope I am giving you all something worth reading still.
Remember, this blog has about 5 weeks left before I shut it down. If you want to read about anything particular, drop me a comment here & I'll do my best to fulfill your request.


Good night & God bless.

Wow...so cool for YOU GUYS....a two-fer today since my last post was so late.
Tonight was another one of those, "so happy to be alive" moments.


I got to have a "boys night out" with BOTH of my sons. We went to Arigato, a hibachi table restaurant where they cook at the table.




I know, I know.....I probably shouldn't be going anywhere NEAR a place like that, but ya know WHAT.....if I can't ever enjoy LIFE, why be so happy that I am alive?


I am happy I am alive & I plan on making sure God knows that, and I am going to be as much of a "good boy" as I can be....but I also need to remember to ENJOY the life God has seen fit to give me.


I don't have a lot to tell you about tonight....just that I was a bad boy tonight & that I am glad about it....at least a little bit.


<< SMILEY FACE>>


....


             ....


                      ....


As I write this I am trying to help my youngest son with this CCD work for 1st Confession. It is S-L-O-W to say the least and I am getting FAR too confounded....to frustrated. I am quickly being reminded that I have NOT gotten to that magical place where "the little things" don't bother me anymore....at least not totally.


I guess being a year out has made me forget a little what I almost lost & made me forget what is TRULY important. We want our kids to be perfect, our lives to be "storybook". But don't a whole lot of storybooks end with someone being eaten, or melting?


Life is not all good, life is FULL of "the little things" that frustrate us and ruin a day. But life is also full of the little things that "make our day"; and life is full of big things, good and bad. The trick isn't to ignore the "little things". We'd be ignoring 1/2 the life God gave us....the trick is to APPRECIATE it all. We need to appreciate the little things, the big things, the good and the bad.


Maybe, JUST MAYBE I'll learn that trick.


Good night & God bless.

Sorry, a little late with this post.....just call it a "time lapse" post.
I  apparently can't lay with my kids till AFTER I post, 'cause once I snuggle up with them, it is literally lights out.


All both of my boys wanted me to lay with them last night; how COOL is that?
The challenge was that they were in different beds.


So I laid with them in succession, in age order and THANKFULLY, they fell asleep in that order as well. The little one hit the pillow & in less than 5 minutes was DONE. The older one was what did me in.


He takes longer to fall asleep & I think I actually dozed off before he did.
Once that happened, there was nothing left in me to post for you all.


Suffice to say, that I cherish those moments since (especially for the big one) there won't be many of them left.....but at least it won't be because I am dead.


Good night (morning) and God bless.

Folks, as it turns out, we are coming up on the end of The Thank You Year.
It has been a wonderful year & I am truly grateful for those who have been reading so far.


There are about 5 weeks left (I am writing for the whole of 2016, no just for a year after my heart attack). There are few new things I can tell you. So, if anyone wants to see a particular topic, please....let me know. I can answer questions, or I can research a topic for you all.


For tonight, I will just remind you al how hard it is to keep at it after a year. It is getting harder with each day to make SURE I get a workout in. It is getting harder and harder to make sure that I eat within the range of salt and fat.


I have basically been "on a diet" for a year & I am VERY happy that I have been successful so far, but MAN with the holidays here and parties/dinners....it is TOUGH not to eat all that good food.


If you recall, I was not given a list of acceptable foods, I was given a set of targets for things like salt, fat, cholesterol. So, I can eat whatever I want as long as I stay under the targets for a day. Well, ya know....it gets a little tiring to read every label & to try to find an online nutritional information page for every place you eat.


The other thing that causes trouble is giving yourself a break. "Oh, I'll just cheat today." Yeah, today becomes tomorrow & tomorrow becomes a week, and suddenly you are almost 10 pounds heavier than your target. Normally, that would not bother me, but so far it SEEMS that my blood pressure is rising along with the weight. SO....back to the drawing board.


Hopefully, by the time we get through the next 5 weeks, I can tell you that I am back doen in weight & BP. Wish me luck.


Good night & God bless.

Another day, more friends visiting for the holidays.....more joy.
Friends of ours visited for the first time in quite some time from Concord, NC and it was a wonderful time.


We built a fire, made some slow-cooker chili, and watched White Christmas. Just a simple day, with simple food and good friends. I am not sure it really could have been a much better conclusion to the holiday weekend.


Now we need to get back to "reality" tomorrow. The kids return to school for the first time since last Tuesday while Ashley & I return to work. Normally, I would not want to return to "reality", but since last November....since my heart attack....




.........I STILL don't want to return to "reality".


Nope; I'll be honest, I think I have a healthier outlook on life now. You know, little things don't bother me, spilled milk doesn't draw tears. But, let's be real; there is a limit to having a sunny disposition and that limit lies directly at the end of a near perfect holiday weekend.


I would love to tell you that this was another time where I was "just happy to be hear" (remember yesterday's post?). Sadly, I can not use that line this time. While I AM ecstatic that I am still around and alive TO return to work, I just can't tell you that I am sooooo happy to be going back to work, and the pitfalls of "real life".


So, gang, I hope you all don't think less of me, but tonight, I am not sunny, I am not satisfied with just being here, I am not excited to return to reality......I don't want this weekend to end, I am tired and I am not looking forward to waking 3 tired children up in the morning.


That's all I got for ya tonight.....reality.


Good night & God bless.

Okay, okay, okay.....yes....I took the holiday off.
Honestly, I was just enjoying my life too much these last couple of days.




Tuesday was awesome. Wednesday brought me back down to earth a bit, but then Thursday was another wonderful day....Friday & today, I got to spend with my kids. WE had the most AWESOME tickle fight on Friday night & then spent today getting stuff to begin our preparations for Christmas & a ski trip in February.


I am so excited to be celebrating what I consider my first "normal" holiday season since the heart attack. Well, okay, let's not call it normal YET, but it certainly feels more normal that the last one did.


In all honesty, I don't know if ANY Christmas, Thanksgiving, or challenging day will ever pass without someone saying, "At least you are here to celebrate it". I mean, that sentiment even passed a few lips when I was working though my dad's passing in June; "Well, at least he had you here in his final days".


Now, don't get me wrong. Every time someone SAYS those things, they are 100% correct and justified in saying them. It just strikes me that this is yet one more way in which my life is forever changed. That phrase, "at least you are here for it," will forever (or at least for the foreseeable future) be a part of my life. It will be part of the good days and the bad. It is as much a part of me now as the stint they put in, and the need to watch my diet and exercise.


...and you know....




At least I am here to talk about that fact, huh?




<<Anyone not see THAT coming?>>


Well, that is about it for today. Remember to keep an eye out for me on Facebook doing silly variations on the 22 Push-up for 22 Day Challenge. That challenge is in support of Veterans who try to commit suicide and I have 2 days left to do...wonder what it'll be tonight.


Good night & God bless.

Well, as you all know, yesterday was pretty fantastic.
Today started out pretty tough. For me, there were the day to day problems and then a few extra hassles.


For my wife, a tough day doesn't start to describe it.
She found out today that someone she knows from work...someone not out of college yet...died in a car accident. It was a hard story to hear, suffice to say he did not suffer much.


So, while I have ridden a bit of a roller coaster over the last year, no one has had to endure the dramatic drops like Ashley has. A year ago, she had to deal with me; hard enough. Today, she had to go from the high of yesterday's joy, to the sadness of losing someone who is WAY too young to die. TO make matters worse, she heard about it before she even got out of her pajamas this morning.


And yet, Ashley went to work, took care of those kids like no one else can & came home to us.
THAT my dear readers is strength; that is faith.


AS my first year of my new life passes I think of all of the times people tell me how much I have been through, but realize that Ashley & my kids have been through all of that and more...and they didn't have people taking care of THEM for 2 months when this all started.


When you go to bed tonight, if you are so inclined, say a prayer for my wife and kids. Ask God that he give them a year of joy and happiness that makes up for the hell they had to go through over the last year.


Good night & God bless.

Sunday, November 22, 2015...Tuesday, November 22, 2016


Yes, that is EXCATLY ONE YEAR
Or...12 months.
Or...52 weeks.
Or...1 cancer diagnosis.
Or...1 loss of a father.
OR...1 lifetime, my lifetime...........since my REbirthday


However you want to measure it, this has been an eventful 12 months.


My kids have turned 3, 7 and 11.




If you remember, I wanted to do a few things with this blog.




In general, this blog was my way of thanking everyone who helped save me, support me and help me get beyond my heart attack. I also wanted to help, to educate, to bring some inspiration to someone with my words. Finally, I wanted to give the Forsyth County EMS a little bit of payback.






Hopefully, I have somehow done those things by now.




In fact today, I brought donations to the Forsyth County EMS.
We got to actually meet with the team that saved my life a year ago. How amazing was THAT?


Ashley & I were falling all over ourselves giving thanks to the two wonderful people who are directly responsible for my life. Will & Lauren.....THANK YOU with "my whole heart"!


As we all discussed the day & the events in the ambulance, I was amazed at how much these two strangers could remember about my "run". They knew the series of events, they could remember exactly what equipment and techniques they used.


This picture was taken today during our visit. If you want to read more, go the the Forsyth County EMS Facebook page.

This next picture is the team the keeps me alive; my rehab team of Beverly, Natalie, Theresa and Lieryn . They are simply the best in the business.

To say this has been a wild year would be SO inadequate; there has been some bad, some exciting and a whole lot of good. One of the EMS Directors asked me how my life has changed. I couldn't answer, the list of ways is just too long, too absolute.

I have tried to bring you all along on the ride through this blog. Thanks for joining me.

We only have a few weeks left before this blog has lived out it's life. If you want to see anything particular, or want to hear about any part of the story, let me know.

Good night & God bless.

Well, we are just about 12 hours away....
In just about 12 hours I will be exactly 1 year out form the start of my heart attack.
It is a bit surreal to be honest with you.


I am excited, I get to celebrate.
I am amazed that it has been a year, but I can't believe how long ago it feels....to be a little cliché....it feels like a lifetime ago.


I am also excited because, tomorrow,  I get to talk face to face to some of the folks that helped save my life a year ago. I have not spoken to or seen them since that day. That is so cool. It feels a little like an early Christmas Eve.


Now, Ashley? She has a different view of things.
She is afraid she may not sleep tonight.


Ashley is anxious because tomorrow IS the anniversary of "the event." She is worried frankly that tomorrow will be cursed and that I will have a relapse; that she will be back in the ER to 'celebrate'.


I guess we won't know who is right till tomorrow night. I think that uncertainty is kind of why I am so excited. Tomorrow is either going to be epic, terrible, or it is going to pass like any other day. Six billion people will not notice tomorrow being any different than the day before. For me, for Ashley, tomorrow will be a day to remember.....hopefully we will remember it as a plain old Tuesday.


Thanks to everyone who has been reading this blog & to those of you who have been there for me every step of the way.


Good night & God bless.

The Sunday before Thanksgiving 2015.....
I go to get milk, die, get brought back, spend the night PRAYING someone will take some of the damn tunes out of me.


The Sunday before Thanksgiving 2016....
I go to church, get a coffeeuphemism and hot chocolate with my son, get home to a HUGE surprise, s0end the day celebrating my RE-birthday with some of the most special people in my life.


Amazing what difference a year can make.

As you all know, Tuesday is the one year anniversary of my heart attack. so,today, Ashley threw me a surprise party to celebrate. What a fantastic day it was.

Friends came and went all day; some were people we have known long enough to call "family" and some we have only known a few short months. Each person that stopped by, or sent a message added one more piece to the memory of the day that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Others that I love dearly just couldn't make it. Make no mistake, you all were here in spirit and in my heart.

It was a bit overwhelming to be part of today. So, I am sorry if today's post is a little disjointed, or if I cut it off without properly thanking everyone, but I am exhausted.


So, yeah, a year can make a BIG difference; this one started with a day I wIshmael had never happened, but will never forget, and is ending with a day I will cherish.....and never forget.

Thank you Ashley.

Good night & God bless.

JUST when I thought I was doing something special by running a sub 30 minute 5K run, here comes my son (who has NEVER run a 5K before) running one in 26 1/2 minutes.

No, really....here's the proof. OH, and he ate TWO DOUGHNUTS at the half-way mark!!!

So...if you think I need any more I inspiration than that, think again.
Of course, he wasn't the only one who ran. Ashley ran too, ate doughnuts and finished.


And while I am talking about inspiration, did I mention Ashley lately? Yeah, remember her? That woman who called the EMTs and saved my life?


Well, I'd like to say I had the honor of being the ONLY guy whose life she saved, but alas, I can not. She has saved another heart attack victim. She has been credited with saving the life of a HS football player as well.


If that isn't enough, she has spent countless hours volunteering for the Childress Institute for Pediatric Trauma....just because they need the help. So, yeah, I guess I have gotten a WEE bit of inspiration from her as well.


My other two kids? What about them? Hell (sorry for the profanity Aunt Sue) they inspire me just by smiling. They simply inspire me to be so much more than I am as a father by being the wonderful kids that THEY are.


I guess my theme tonight is that, while I am trying to inspire others, those closest to me are the true inspirations of the Donahue family.....or maybe I just wanted to brag on my wife and kids and I found a way to make you all listen....


I guess I'll let you all decide which theme you liked better. ;)


Good night & God bless.

Well, I guess we are hitting the home stretch....


When I wake up tomorrow (okay, later today OFFICIALLY) I will be 1 WEEK from my 1 year anniversary.


I will have lived for a year after dying for two and one half minutes.
I am starting to ask myself again why I got to live; why did I get to be the one who "came back"?


Am I supposed to do something big? Am I supposed to save a life; prevent a crime?
Do I have a Guardian Angel named Clarence (movie reference anyone)?


If so, I f I AM supposed to be doing something special, how will I know if I have fulfilled such a lofty expectation?


Have I already? Is this insignificant little diary my "thing"? Did I somehow help someone enough for this to count? No...certainly THIS is not what I am to trade for getting my life back?


But if not this, then what? What am I supposed to do?


I was hoping to have it be something easy to notice; something like I would raise enough money for the EMS unit to buy some fancy new piece of equipment, or I would see someone ELSE have a heart attack and get them help "just in time". Somehow, I don't think it will be such a dramatic thing.


The money I have collected so far will not buy much more than lunch for the EMTs, forget some life saving new gadget.


I know I have not saved a life yet....there is no even trade here; no quid pro quo; no tit-for-tat.


So what, what am I supposed to do? Why did God do something as silly as let this plain, basic, middle aged man beat the "widow maker"?


I fear that long after this blog is closed down, I will still not feel like I have earned my extra time. I may never feel it. All I KNOW is that I am a very lucky man...I have a beautiful, talented, unbelievably caring and generous wife. I have 3 of the most wonderful kids a man could imagine. And....most of all, I get to be with them for at least a little while longer.


Oh, and I know one more thing......no matter WHAT I do, I will never be able to pay God back for even just this one year of that extra time.


Good night & God bless.

Veterans Day is here as I write this (since IS past midnight).  Thank you guys. Thank you all for putting yourselves in harms way for a bunch of folks who may not always act like we appreciate it.

I sent a message to one of the EMT'S who worked my call a eye area ago, and realized that they two seldom get the sense of appreciation they deserve.

So, in my own spin on this Veterans Day, let me thank ALL of our EMT/First Responder brothers and sisters for all of their incredible work and for putting THEMSELVES in harms way when need be (on a roadside for example). You guys literally save lives, and there is nothing more incredible than that.

Good night & God bless (to my readers, our Veterans and our first responders )

Interesting day today....
Lot's of opinions on both sides of the aisle....the election was good, the election was terrible.
My own opinion is not important, and there will be NO commentary in this blog. There, I made the obligatory comment on our "historic" election....

Yesterday was 2 weeks away from my "Re-birthday", or my "Other Birthday" and I
got caught up in watching the returns and missed my post yesterday. Sorry.

But...post or no post...I WAS thinking about the blog & I was wondering how I could tie in election day without making political commentary. I could incorporate a vote of my own.

Cliché, I know. But here we go.

I am not sure what to call November 22 each year from now on. I am looking for some snazzy little phrase to use for my "heart attack-adversary", but I just can't find anything better that "Re-birthday" and that one just doesn't QUITE do it.

This may seem to be a silly thing to worry about, but this is a PRETTY important day & it needs an appropriate name. I mean, we need to know what to put on my cake.

What do you all think? What should I call November 22 from now on? Drop me a comment with your suggestion.

To be honest, this may not be a TRUE election. In fact I may not put it out for a VOTE at all; mine may be the ONLY vote that counts. But hey, you all have an opportunity to chime in and maybe be the person whose word shows up on cakes for what I hope is years to come.

Good night & God bless.

Sorry...took the weekend off. The weekend was very busy & I didn't think I could do this blog justice with the time given. So, I missed a couple of days.

What makes tonight's post extra special is not that I am back after a break, it is that I get to give you some REALLY cool news.

After Ashley's post to Facebook the other day, her new friend from the Forsyth County EMS shared this blog. As a result of HTAT sharing my blog, one of the EMT's who work my call READ IT & was able to find me and friend me on Facebook.

Yes, I get to be a Facebook friend with one of the people who ACTUALLY SAVED MY LIFE. Now, how many people do YOU know who will actually get to say that in the course of a lifetime?

The young lady (name withheld until I get approval) and I have traded messages and I hope to see her on the 22nd when I deliver the donations form the readers and me.

Next step is to get her to introduce me to the others on duty that day. I need to be able to thank them in person just as I have now been able to thank her.

Wow....I am still overwhelmed that I get to know at least one of the folks directly responsible for this blog. I can't wait to get a chance to meet her and the others and present them with what I hope is the first of many annual gifts.

I'll let you know how things go when I swing into the EMS unit on the 22nd.

Good night & God bless.

Special surprise author tonight.
Ashley had a special chance to remind the EMT's in Forsyth County that they have made huge impacts on our family.

Here is her post to Facebook about the encounter:

Tonight, I got to reconnect with someone who I met in July of 2015-- one of the paramedics who treated me after I fainted due to being septic after Seussical!  She was one of the paramedics covering the football game with me tonight!  I knew who she was as soon as she introduced herself AND I was so excited to get to tell her that what she did for me mattered!  We chatted about what had happened with me, our families, etc AND then, I got to tell her that her colleagues saved my husband's life (lots of tears happened here!)!  It was amazing to share his miraculous story and know just how blessed we have been!  So, here's to you, J.Ray, you and your colleagues make a difference and the Donahue family will forever be indebted to y'all!


Thanks Ashley.

The other night she also met an EMT who was not involved in my case, but who had HEARD about it and remembered it almost a year later. Apparently, I am a minor celebrity in the Forsyth County EMT corps.

Add to this, the time these folks came to take care of our son...and they deserve so much more than we could ever give.

There is still almost a month before I present my donation to them. If you'd like to contribute, send your donation to me at

5205 Smoky Ridge Ln.
Winston Salem, NC  27127

Make your check payable to Forsyth County EMS. I'll match everything up to $250.

Good night and God bless.

I am now within 3 weeks of being alive again for a whole year.
Less than a month. It just hit me really how close my rebirth day is; how close I am to the end of this blog (keep the cheers to a minimum).




I looked back over some of my posts. Some good, some pretty poor. They have definitely evolved over the year. I kind of got to thinking how I had evolved over the year.


I have lost 30 lbs.
I have gotten religious about running at least 3 times a day.
I have gotten used to taking pills for a living.
I have gotten VERY aware of my weight and how much I eat. I actually panic just a little if I gain any weight, or feel like I went over 1500 milligrams of sodium in a day.


As you might imagine, things have taken on a new priority in life. Missing events for my kids actually hurts now. I mean I always hated it, but I actually hurt a little this week when I had to miss the open house at the kids' school.


I am noticing my age more now too. I just realize that I have been around for a while. I am not "OLD" per say but I am actually old enough to be a grandparent without TOO much of a stretch.
(For those of you who doubt....47....48 for all intents and purposes....at 23 I could have had a son, 46 when he has a daughter, & there you go....my fictitious granddaughter would be 2 years old; a toddler)


I crossed over to where I don't feel invincible anymore. Sort of a sad thing, but maybe a good thing. I am taking better care of myself. I am working with the kids to make sure they take care of THEMSELVES as best I can while letting them still be kids.


This blog has grown and changed. I have changed and hope I have grown.
Three weeks to reach a year. I'm looking forward to it.


Good night & God bless.

In Atlanta tonight and having trouble dropping off to sleep.

I paid some more of my dad's bills today; leftover medical bills, the last power bill, etc.

With each one, I am getting closer to being done with the task of being executor. With each one, I am getting closer to having my dad's time here on earth end.

While this blog is not about dad, his situation often makes me reflect on my own. How long would it have taken for my Mark to disappear? How hard would Ashley have had to work to clean up the trail I left behind?

...and how much more work would someone have had to do if I were not here to be dad's executor?

...and WHY have we not updated our wills now that our family is complete?

Lesson? Pay attention to the paperwork. Have it in order.

Bigger lesson, leave your mark now, love your family now, decide who you are and be that person forever.

Got to stop another medicine this week!!!
WOOT, woot!!!

Once the bottle runs out on the anti-platelet meds, I will be down to taking pills 2 times a day; much better than the 4 or 5 times a day I started with!

That's all for tonight.

Happy Halloween and God bless.

Today was a day of opposites.
We had the joy of our baby's 3rd birthday followed by the sadness of the loss of my wife's friend to Leukemia.


So, today itself was an opposite; the opposite of Nov. 22. That day started off with me going to the store for milk, followed by the sadness and fear of the heart attack, and then the joy of surevival.


Today DID start with me going to the store for milk, but similarities end there. From that point on, today was a 180 from Nov. 22.

So tO'Day, please pray for Ashley, and her friend's family as they deal with a loss we narrowly escaped not long ago.

Good night and God bless.

My baby turns 3 tomorrow, and how can I say this without sounding repetitive....


I can NOT believe how lucky I am to be here to see it.
I know I have said this about things that have already happened; Thanksgiving, Christmas, other birthdays, including my 47th...but it is no less appropriate, and no less a powerful feeling for me.


I am coming up on 1 year out, so, that means that I am still experiencing things "for the first time".
I am still in that place where I am experiencing things newly after my heart attack.


Next year, I will see my kids turn ANOTHER year older, I will TURN a year older, I will open another Christmas present, see another soccer game....but this year, I am still just experiencing these things as a newly minted "survivor". I will never experience things with that odd sense of finality again (if all goes well anyway).


I'll always have that extra bit of gratitude for being given the opportunity to experience EVERY day I have left, but firsts are always more special to us as humans; and I have had a whole year of nothing BUT firsts.


The next time I feel so honored to be given a second chance will be at some extra special occasion, a wedding, or a graduation. the kinds of things that only happen once in a lifetime anyhow. Those days will be extra special to me knowing what might have been. But birthdays, holidays and other annual things will likely become more "normal" as the years go on.


The year is coming to an end, and so is this iteration of this blog. That is a strange feeling for me. I am not sure what to do as the year concludes, but then again, I guess that will be just another "first" for me, won't it?


Good night & God bless.

Hey guys.

Short one tonight.

On Wednesday, I had my latest cardiology appointment as you know.

Not only did it go well, but the cardiologist took me off of another medicine.

YES!!!!!

I will take Brelenta for three more weeks until my current refill is done, and then no more!

At that point, I will pretty well be 1 year out from the heart attack.

I know it may not seem like much, but that is two less pills a day, 1 less alarm to remindicate new to take meds, and $100 a month I get to keep.

Small steps in a year's worth of recovery leading to better health and fitness.

Good night and God bless.

Had my next appointment with my cardiologist today.
Had a bit of an epiphany today.


I realized that when you have had a major health problem, you become very one-dimensional.
Okay, Craig.....What does THAT mean? What "dimensions" are you talking about?


I mean that your sense of "healthy" becomes very one-dimensional.




As I said, I had my cardiologist appointment today, and it went well. He was happy with my progress. He felt I was continuing with a good solid recovery. As always, there is the question and answer period.
"How do you feel?"
"Any chest pain?"
"Do you have any questions?"


Well, I told him I felt fine, and I feel "pretty good, but..."
As you already know, I have felt a soreness in my chest for a few weeks now. It wasn't a heart attack, but I was sore....officially, I could say I had "chest pain."


I also have been having headaches and a VERY stuffed up nose.


...and back to the appointment......


The take your blood pressure, your pulse, your pulse oxygen. The doctor listens to your lungs (deep breath, and again, and again...). The doctor listens to your heart. Everything sounded fine.


The doctor looks at the EKG that the nurse took (BTW, those take all of 5 seconds). Everything looked fine.


"SO, doc...the pain, the soreness, is NOT my heart?"
"Nope." (Okay, so he didn't actually SAY, nope)


"Whew!" Since the pain was not my heart.....
.....all is okay.


Ummmmmm....wait, there is still a pain in my chest, headaches and hard breathing due to a clogged nose.


See, what I mean by one-dimensional is the feeling of total relief when I found out the symptoms were not my heart. That ONE fact made me feel all better.


But , here is the thing.....I STILL have symptoms, symptoms of SOMETHING.
It may be remnants of broken ribs form CPR, it may be a cold, it may be the fact that I have been lifting has made an old injury resurface; nothing.


BUT, here is the thing....as soon as I found out it was likely not my heart, I immediately said it was "nothing." I had no need to ask, "what would it be." I felt no need to find out more. I was satisfied that that ONE THING was okay.


Now...I don't want anyone to think I am all worked up about what it "might" be. No doctor, was overly worried, not my primary, not my cardiologist, not my physical therapist. It is likely the ribs from CPR.


The POINT is...yes, I promise, I have a point....as soon as that ONE dimension of my health as cleared, I was okay with it. I was fine once it was not my heart. Nothing else almost killed me, so nothing else is worth worrying about right now..............one dimensional.


There is no great lesson tonight, no heartfelt message. I just wanted you to know what is going through my mind lately.


Hope you all are doing well & know that I appreciate you all and the parts of YOUR lives that you share with me every time you sit down to read my work.


Good night & God bless.

I am excited, and I am nervous...tomorrow I see my cardiologist for the first time in 6 months.


The excitement comes form the fact that I get to find out how I am doing.
I mean, how am I doing from the eating standpoint?
How am I doing from the exercise standpoint.
And...by extension, how is my heart REALLY doing?


I mean, I can guess that I am doing fine. I can eat as well as I think I need to and believe I am doing the right things. Wednesday morning I'll know.




The nerves are being frayed because I will hear form the Dr. if I am doing the right things...
As you all know....all of you that have been reading and not falling asleep....I have ben hitting a bit of a plateau lately & workouts are getting to be a challenge.


Well, on Wednesday, I get to find out if my heart is the cause of that plateau or not. That is exciting, but also nerve racking. I mean, I am excited that I will not have to hope anymore, but I am also nervous because I may find out that I have been wrong and there is a blockage somewhere, or there is damage I didn't know about.


I am nervous that I will find out that I have been getting lazy and not paying enough attention to my diet and workouts; am I getting "complacent".


AND, I am nervous at what I might find out is the consequence of being complacent. Will I be told to cut out more kinds of food? Will I be told to be less active? Will I have to undergo some sort of procedure; an angioplasty, and angiogram, a bypass?


I know...I am being a bit over the top, but it all flows through your mind when you are seeing the Doctor for the first time in 6 months, and you are only 11 months from your heart attack.


Tomorrow is my last rehab session before my appointment....guess I'll have to make it count.


I'll let you know how it all goes later in the week.


Goo night & God bless.

This has been an eventful 11 months.
Yep...believe it or not, yesterday was 11 months since my heart attack.


So, I have 1 more month to get to the last objective of this blog.




If you remember, I wanted to do a few things with this blog.




In general, this blog was my way of thanking everyone who helped save me, support me and help me get beyond my heart attack. I also wanted to help, to educate, to bring some inspiration to someone with my words.




Hopefully, I have somehow done those things by now.




What I still need to do, is raise some donations for the Forsyth County EMS.
I was going to try to get all fancy & hi-tech and create a "GoFundMe" page or do some sort of electronic donation thing. But, ya know, sometimes old school is the best.


I want to get some serious money to the Forsyth County EMS. I ALSO want everyone who donates to have a tax deduction (my own personal tax plan for you all, maybe I should run for president). GoFundMe does not offer the tax deductible donations.


Having said all of that, I am just gonna simply ask that anyone reading this send a donation made out to the Forsyth County EMS. Any amount will be appreciated and forwarded, $10, $20, $1.


You can send it to me at 5205 Smoky Ridge Ln., Winston-Salem, NC  27127.
If you don't want to do that, you can send it to them directly at:
911 East Fifth St., Winston-Salem, NC 27101


If you send it directly, please let me know what you sent via a comment on this board.
WHY? Because...
I am going to match any donations sent to me, or to the EMS by Dec. 31, 2016 directly because of this blog, up to $250. So, I need to know how much is sent to them.


Just so you have an idea of what this group is:
- They have transported 3 of the 5 members of this family to the hospital, one of us multiple times.
- They arrived in FOUR minutes when my wife called about my heart attack.
- From their web site, read their own words:
Our mission is to provide, “Compassion for people, Excellence in Service.”. Founded in 1968, Forsyth County Emergency Services (FCES) is the exclusive provider of 9-1-1 emergency services in Forsyth County, including the City of Winston-Salem. FCES strives to provide timely, efficient, appropriate and equitable care to all citizens and visitors of Forsyth County. From advanced call taking technology in our 9-1-1 center to our highly trained team of over 160 paramedics and EMTs, FCES provides advanced level care to all of our patients.


So, please, if you have found any value in what I have written in the last 11 months, help me say thank you to the Forsyth County EMS.


Well, that's it....that's my big pitch, my one ask. Thanks for your patience, and your love.


Good night & God bless.

Sorry gang....no words of wisdom tonight.
Got the kiddos to bed and minutes later, the only thing I could say was....
....ZZZZZZZZZZ.

Tomorrow we welcome email back my brother in law from his hitch in Turkey with the Air Force.

I'll post when we get home from there.

Good night (@1:30 am) and God bless (@ any hour of the day or night).

My long ride home is over and I am so happy. I now get to be home for a week.

As far as this blog is concerned, that is best because I can get to rehab all week.

I am very good about working out on the road, but I feel so much more at ease when I go to rehab.

That is good because with my day off yesterday, and my ride today, I am 2 days without a run.

As far as I am concerned personally, this is good because....well pick a reason. I am home with my wife, my kids....our dog...

Either way, I AM home. It always helps my heart to be home.

No exciting discourse tonight. No "lesson learned." I am just gonna sit here and enjoy being home.......'cause I can....'cause I didn't die.

Good night and God bless.

Took the day off today; not from work, obviously not from my blog, from working out.


I have been pretty adamantly consistent about working out ever since I started rehab on December 17th. I can't think of a week where I didn't work out at least 3 times a week...even the week of June 4.


As I have been traveling to Atlanta, I have almost always worked out somehow all 3 nights on the road. Being alone on the road, actually makes it a little easier, since I can't really DO much of anything else; no kids to play with, no lunches to help make, no dishes or laundry (that will be there when I get home).


But...today...I just needed a day off. There isn't any good or bad in that alone. Not great disappointment for needing a rest, no great sense of pride for having the "courage" to give myself a rest. Nope, nothing like that.


I have worked hard for the last 10 months and I just needed a rest.


Now, what DOES give me a sense of satisfaction is WHY  I "just needed a day off."
It wasn't my heart...and I mean both my heart in the sense of the muscle sitting in the middle of my chest, and my "heart" that rests squarely in my mind and my soul. My heart was not the issue, it was my muscles and, even more intensely, my joints.


My ankles, my knees and even my hips were yelling at me that they needed a break.
Well, ACTUALLY, they were screaming that they wanted new shoes, but I think they are just being spoiled there...


I am glad that my heart did not jump up & yell at me...again...
I am glad that, while I am not happy with the plateau I seem to have hit, that I do not feel like I have back-slid any by resting.


Tomorrow, I get to go home to my family, my strength. Hopefully, tonight's little break will ensure I get there loaded with the energy I will need to show them how much I love them, and show them how lucky I know I have been on 5 days in my life; 1 wedding day, 3 dates of birth, and 1 REbirthday.


Good night & God bless.

It is 4 days until I am 11 months away from my heart attack.


This is my 140th post.




We have discussed the events that lead to my heart attack. We discussed the event itself.




You have read about my early days of recovery & the fear if the unknown; my false alarm & return to the hospital.




I am sore and tired tonight. I am actually getting comfortable enough that I am pushing my body. I think I am sore because I am exercising enough that it is making me sore in only that way that a big workout can.




Don't get me wrong, I still panic a little when I get any kind of funny feeling in my chest. Any twinge, any pressure, any odd sensation in my heart results in some sort of doctor visit most of the time.




But, even with that, I am trying to push a little harder this week than I did last week.


I am feeling okay, but I will tell you that I am looking forward to my appointment with my Cardiologist. I still need to hear him tell me that my heart is acting normally; I need that reassurance.


In about 7 days, you'll hear all about my visit to the doctor and any test results.


Good night & God bless.

I have been talking mostly about myself and my life since November 22.
I mentioned Ashley & her reactions, and I have asked her to write a few of my entries.


What about my children? How have THEY been doing since my heart attack?


The easy one first.....my baby girl is too young to realize what happened. She knows dad is not at home tonight, and that is about as far as it goes. I love my girl, but the time that has passed since last November constitutes 1/3 of her life. Had things gone differently, she would have moved onto thinking life without a dad, or life with a new dad was normal.


My "combo kid" middle son realizes that dad was bad off, but I am not sure he understood at the time what it meant to have daddy be dead for 2 minutes. Hell, I am not sure I understand what it means even now. I think in the back of his mind, my son misses me more when I leave than he would have otherwise. I think he knows daddy could have "gone away", but at his age, I don't think the finality was QUITE there yet. That being said, I think he would have been sad for a VERY long time if I hadn't "made it." NOT because I am so great, but because he is.


My eldest...I have often thought about talking to him about what life would have been like...you know the old, "if this happens again & I don't make it" speech. Thing is...not only don't I WANT to have that talk, but I am not sure I'd HAVE to have that talk. I think my eldest would have jumped into "go" mode & he would have concentrated on helping mom-mom. Now, don't get me wrong, at 10 years old, he would have been heart broken. But, there is something about him that makes me believe he would have known what to do once the initial shock/heartbreak subsided. He would have filled some of the gaps I left open. He would have been just like George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life. That's just him.


What I told you to this point is what I THINK.


What I KNOW is this. I have 3 wonderful, loving, children. I have a wife who would be the glue that held a hurt family together.


Most importantly, I know this; I am a very lucky man, because I get to see all of them for at least one more day.


Lesson learned? Nah....just something I already knew BEFORE November 22, 2015.


Good night & God bless

Early t9 bed and early to rise...
...means Craig has to travel tomorrow morning.

That also means Sunday was spent getting READY to 9 travel; confirm the hotel, pack, get a rental car (Atlanta is easier to drive to than fly to)....and kiss Ashley and the kids a thousand times.

I need to go, work pays the bills.

However,  part of my heart dies each time I have to leave.

Days like today make me forget about last November and make me think only about next Thursday when I get to come home.

At the same time, days like this bring November to the top of my mind when I ask myself if this is really how I want to spend the extra days God has given me.

How SHOULD I spend my days here on Earth? I don't want to be away from Ashley & the kids but I can't just sit in a room and hold them forever either. Life has to happen; good days and bad. But, given that how do we make the final score be in our favor?

When I figure it out, I'll post an answer (don't hold your breath).

If anyone has any suggestions,  post them or drop a comment. I'm sure we'd all like to know.

Did I mention, "early to bed?"

Good night and God bless.

After 3 birthday parties, 2 soccer games, and a wife who is out of town (yep...it fits to the song), I have been a LITTLE busy today, and I am tired. 

But...I promised a short story about tearing up yesterday, so here we go.

An older gentleman at rehab made me tear up. No, he didn't remind me of dad. He didn't make me sad. He gave me a tear and he humbled me.

I was using the elliptical machine. All he did was walk past and point at me....and he said, "You're an inspiration."

TO ME, he said that to ME. Wow. Me, I was inspiring him. Here is someone who has gone through mich more of life's journey than I have, someone who has dealt with trials I am sure I have yet to suffer, and he finds strength in watching me.

Now, don't get me wrong, being the youngest person in rehab, I can push harder than most. And many folks have made comment as to how hard I am working. One fellow keeps telling me.I will break the machine, almost daily. I am.sort of a novelty.

But this, this was different. The man yesterday actually looks up to me and finds inspiration. That blew me away.

I really did not know how to respond. I mean I said thank you, but that seemed inadequate. So, I have been thinking about how I could "respond."

I think I figured out how to say thanks; by showing what an inspiration HE now is to me.

See, with that tiny gesture, he just made me realize that eyes are on me in that facility and that I need to keep up my intensity....every session.

See, if someone, ANYONE is looking up to me, I have to be worth looking up to. 

As you know, the last little while has been hard and my intensity level has suffered a bit. Now I know that I can not let that happen. I have to keep pushing, and keep improving and actually BE the inspiration the man sees in me.

Today's lesson learned:

If you see someone as an inspiration, tell them. At the least you will make their day. If you are lucky, you will push them to be even better than they already are...

Good night and God bless.l

Sorry, guys. Fell asleep with my kids. And since it it is nearly 1 am, I am not much for writing right now.

But, if you want to hear how an old man made me tear up today, check in with me tomorrow.

Good night and God bless.

Craig asked me to guest write tonight...so I will try to do his blog justice. 


The transition to my new job has had some bumps to say the least.  Some days I have wondered if I was still having the kind of impact I had previously.  I was concerned with figuring out a new documentation system, working with new colleagues and making sure everything I did was "perfect".  With a new program in the works, I would settle for nothing less than perfection.  I, however, had to figure out how to get to perfection in 40 hours a week...add a little more stress to my already somewhat uncomfortable transition!  See, while most jobs (especially one like athletic training) don't care how many hours you work (when you are salaried), my contract stipulates that I will stay at 40 hours a week.  This means, during any given week, that I should not go over by any significant amount NOR should I be under by any significant amount-- easy, right?!?!?!?  Well, not so much...what about games that go into overtime or an injury that requires to you stay late to performed continued evaluation and talking to parents?  Those things are not in the "normal" work week! 
   In addition, my children are missing having me around.  While I certainly need to be employed, we had a lot more of the "prime family time" (3 to 7 or 8 in the evening) when I was not working in a full time position.  Then I started to wonder...have I done the right thing?  Should I have taken the job?  What about my pre-teen who is begging for time with me?  My amazing middle child who is not going to make waves, but who secretly misses me? Our sweet little girl who shows that she misses me by INSISTING on ending up in our bed (and directly on top of me) every night?  Then there is the fact that Craig is back on the road for work...it is a never ending cycle of who gets time with whom. 
    Anyway, I had and continue to have a lot of worries about this new position and what my impact will be and then...tonight happened.  Here is the story:
    While covering an away JV football game, this young man came up and began talking with me and says, "Momma, are you riding the bus home with us?" to which I answered, "No.  You know that I drive to games in case I need to be more flexible", etc.  He then asked if he could ride with me "because the bus is awful". To which I also had to answer in the negative.  BUT, we are missing the point-- he called me "Momma"-- ME!  The woman who is struggling to find her place in this new position!  You see, this young man is the son of a college classmate of mine and as soon as he discovered this a couple of weeks ago, I became special to him...he felt like he could relate to me because his mom and I had a connection.  He is a great young man who is sweet and kind, but he had no reason to connect with me-- he hasn't been injured and I did not know him before sometime after September 1.  Here is a child on whom I have had an impact!  YAY!  Here is the thing...in all of the ancillary crap, I had forgotten that this young man has put enough trust, faith and respect in me to call me "momma".  He has told others (it doesn't matter who it is) that I am his second mom...I don't know that I deserve the distinction, but I really appreciate it!  I don't feel like I have done anything particularly out of the ordinary for this boy, but he knows I care and that if he needed me, I would be right there to take care of him. 
   So, as I sit here reflecting on my evening, I cannot believe that I had so little faith as to think that I would not have an impact!  Here is the pearl of wisdom-  Don't lose sight of the amazing things by getting mired in the mundane.  Now, go out and be somebody's "momma"! 


Good night and God bless!

Today is not about me. It is about a friend who lost her mother just a few days ago.
Katrina, one of our bride's maids, the woman who was there when Ashley & I met, lost her mom the other day.


She could use some prayers. SO, if you were someone who was saying a prayer for me every once in a while, please use the next one for her.


I met Katrina's mom & I can tell you there were few people in this world with more life in them and more "spit and vinegar". Like most, I am sure we will remember her through rose colored glasses; the good is a little better than it really was and the bad will probably be minimized. But....even accounting for that, I can tell you that the world is a little less fun today without her mother around.


Katrina needs prayers as anyone would who lost a parent, but Katrina is special in her own right & she has one of the healthiest attitudes of anyone I have ever met who lost a parent.


I got to visit her the other day & when she looked at me and said, "Mom is in a better place" she wasn't just saying it....she BLIEVED it, she just KNEW it.


Katrina showed me true faith that day....if she never reads this blog, she may never know that, but she showed me what true, honest faith is. For that reason, if anyone needs a prayer, it is her.....she would know more than most that it would be heard.


Good night & God bless.

If you have been reading this, you are a glutton for punishment....no wait...


If you have been reading this, you know it has been a tough few months for me (AND you are a glutton for punishment).


I have seen a number of friends experience some serious loss. I have had doubts about how well I am doing on keeping my heart healthy. I have lost my father.


After I took some time off from this blog, I came back to it & I have been talking about my woes and my worries since.


Well, tonight I need to talk about something else; actually, someONE else...my friend, my partner, my wife.


Through all of this, she has of course had her own trials;  a new job, my increased travels, and her own heartache over losing my dad. Yet, through it all, she has been there as my crutch.


Sometimes that means holding me so I can cry. Sometimes it means telling me to grow up & STOP crying. Sometimes it just means letting me know that I was not alone...even in silence.


I may not always like what she has to say when she says it; "No, you can't have any of those."
I am not going to tell you that I realize now it was only for my own good.....that is a little to cliché even for ME.


I WILL tell you that if not for my wife, I would not be nearly as well off as I am now. I can't take care of myself...not like she can. Even now, I still call her to ask her if I can have certain things to eat. I still look to her to remind me that I need to work out even when I am not at rehab. I STILL tell her every time I "cheat" a little....just so I know my guardian angel has all of the facts. Well, okay, MAAAAYYYYBE it is more to control the guilt of cheating.


I don't call her my love any more....I just skip all of that and call her "My Heart".


I have not given her enough consideration before in this blog. So I hope that today's post gives you a small idea of how important she is to me; not just form an emotional standpoint of loving her so much, but form the standpoint of needing someone to keep me in line, someone to watch over me, and someone to help me make good decisions.


A friend, a lover, a COACH, and angel....in short....My Heart.
To Ashley, thanks. I do love you so much.


To the rest of you, good night & God bless.

The last little while has been interesting. Not good, or bad per se, just interesting.....in a sort of usual sort of way.


If you remember, I have had a goal of getting a 5K run completed in less than 30 minutes.
I am doing this in an effort to get ready to do a sprint triathlon next year.


So far I am doing okay. I figure I should finish in less than 2 hours.


Now, what make the last little while interesting is that I have hit a plateau. I seem to be stuck...


I was getting better and better & I was feeling pretty bullet proof. Suddenly, I have gotten to the point where workouts are challenging again & I have stopped getting any faster.


Normally, it would just be time to switch up the old workout. Get some new energy in the old brain & move along. Only this is not a normal workout or a normal situation.


See, now that I have become "a survivor" the fact that things have gotten hard is scary.
WHY did it get hard to work out again? WHAT is causing that? WHAT do I do? What DID I do?


Most folks would just figure they hit a peak, or needed a break, but when you are within a year of a heart attack, you tend to make everything revert back to that. So you start to think that maybe, JUST MAYBE you have gotten a new clog somewhere. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, you pushed too hard and your heart is paying you back for it.



Do I go to the Dr? Do I ignore it & "See what happens"?


Until something starts to hut, I think I am going to keep up the workouts, let the folks at rehab know I am worried & See what they say.


Good night & God bless.