Wow gang, I am slipping....I am sorry.
You know how the holiday season can be though.


Today was a tough day. Just "one of those days" that seemed to start okay but quickly went downhill.


It ended with me causing a bunch of trouble getting my oldest to his Boy Scout event.
His Troop was performing at an Assisted Living facility & I was supposed to meet him at home to take him.

Long story short (the details of the mess up are not relevant), He got to the event, but I was RUNNING to make sure I caught the performance.


Two things ran through m head as I was entering the building.
1. Geez I PRAY that I am not late.
2. This is WAY too stressful for me right now.


For the first time tonight, there was no feeling of, "well at least I was HERE to mess things up."
Nope....pure and simple, all I could think about was not being that dad; the one who JUST misses his son performing. The one whose work "gets in the way".


At just over a year out, the heart attack became a non-issue.


Is that good, or bad?
I don't know. I am not sure. All I know is, I felt like CRAP knowing that I almost messed up my son's night.....and that is all that mattered.


It was just for that brief second as I was at my highest point of worry that my son was looking for me only to not be able to see me, that I worried about my heart; that I was thinking that it was enough to "just be alive for this."


I guess that means things are getting back to "normal"....whatever that means.


Good night & God bless.