Resistance training? Really? Weight lifting??

Yes, in FACT my rehab therapist & I did discuss the idea of adding resistance training to my rehabilitation and recovery program. YES!!!!!!

Why am I so excited? I mean, come ON, no one likes to lift weights. Why would I suddenly WANT to do such a thing?

Well, I am excited because I was not expecting to see any weights until at least 1/2 way through the program, if at all. That means I am getting better.

That also means that I can really begin to rebuild my "girlish figure." The cardio exercise is fine, and I HAVE lost a little weight; a bit of weight?; some weight?...okay, I have lost nearly 20 pounds. But, I still feel "soft" and I am still not into pants with a 30 inch waist yet. Some weights will allow me to become more "solid" and reach a goal I have had for some time; fitting into size 30 pants.

While this situation as a whole STINKS (I'd like to use a stronger word, but this IS a family show) I have always thought that there would be some silver linings. And my weight loss is one of the silver linings that I have been trying to wrap securely around this dark cloud that is my heart attack.

I am well on my way to being to a weight I have not seen in years and wearing pants that I thought were lost forever. This situation (that STINKS) has been that proverbial wake-up call, and is forcing me to take better care of myself. I am eating MUCH better, I am exercising at least 3 times a week, and I am drinking a little more water. All W's in my win/loss column.

While I may never be as healthy as I could have been if this didn't happen, I am going to be more healthy than I would have been if I had continued down the path I was walking.

SO...yep...feeling pretty good today.

Lesson learned:
When life gives you lemons...

...skip the lemonade and use the lemons to flavor a nice baked chicken dinner. Your waistline will thank you. Leave the lemonade to the kids with the curbside stand.

Good night & God bless.

Tonight will likely be short. I have been back at work 2 days and, believe it or not, it has been a little tiring. Today is also going to be a bit of a story about how small this world really is, and how special my wife is.

Ashley first. She has told me stories about how her dad has actually saved lives. I have always believed her choice to go into medicine may have been influenced by this fact. See, she has always been a little in awe of these stories. She has always had that, "I can't imagine doing that" attitude. She still has that attitude even though a father of one of her football players tells people he believes she saved his boy's life. She says it is overwhelming to hear him say that. She downplays what she did for the football player.

Now, he was probably not in mortal danger, but she DID prevent him from further injury, and possibly saved his ability to play. She saved his WAY of life at least. Even if she won't admit it.

Well, now I can tell you that, without a doubt, SHE has saved a life. In fact, SHE has saved two lives.
Yes, I give her credit for saving my life. Ashley didn't wait. Ashley made the call. Ashley kept me calm and gives me reasons to live every day.

Ashley has saved another life in a more direct manner. Ashley was working a basketball game and was part of the team that saved a man in the stands watching the game.

Wanna know what happened to the man? Ahhhh....you already guessed didn't you?

Ashley has now saved two men suffering from heart attacks, and this is where we get into the "small world" part of tonight's post.

Ready?

So, you know we both had heart attacks, and we both were saved by my wonderful wife. But is certainly doesn't stop there. I mean, really, would I do a whole post about this if that was all of it???

No, turns out we both had heart attacks; the SAME heart attacks. This man & I both were lucky enough to dodge the "widow-maker's" bullet; both heart attacks were caused by blockages in the left anterior descending artery.

To continue, Ashley was not the only person to help save our lives. Apparently, the same doctor performed the surgery on the two of us.

Pretty cool huh? Well, here is one more for you...

The man and I recuperated in the same hospital room; room 714.

How's that for a small world?

This man & I had the same problem, the same room, the same doctor work on us and, of course, Ashley was there to save us both.

It is a small world indeed. Coincidences forever will join 2 men that really had no reason to know anything about each other. The most important coincidence being that we both survived. It is a small world indeed.

Oookay, maybe the post wasn't all that short. I AM that tired though.

Before I go, I want to ask you to once again send some of your prayers to another person. A high school friend of mine was not as lucky as my family was on November 22. This young lady lost her mother just the other day. This woman was always happy, always someone who welcomed us into her home, and will be sorely missed by her family & friends. Please pray that her family find solace in her memory and relief in knowing that she is not suffering. Thanks.

Good night and God bless.

Yesterday I hit on an important point.

The heart is a muscle. Like any muscle it can be injured. Like any muscle it can be strengthened, and it can recover. Unlike most muscles, it is NOT something with which you can "work through the pain." This is the thing that scares me the most about this whole thing from here on out. Maybe "scares" is the wrong word....."concerns" is better.

Other than my anxiety attack, I have not really been "scared" since before I got into the ambulance. I mean really folks, I was unconscious for all of the REALLY scary parts, wasn't I? I was out for the heart failure and I was asleep for the surgery.

But, I do get concerned that I will push too hard, or try to do too much now. Before this, whenever I have been in physical therapy, or when I have been taking fitness tests, I have always, ALWAYS, tried to outdo what the exercise physiologists asked. You want 10 reps? I can do 12. You want me to touch my ankles? I can touch my toes. You want my knee to bend 90 degrees? I can go further.

Problem for me is that THIS situation does not allow for that. This situation is one where you need to not push. If you push too hard, the consequences can be bad. You don't just set yourself up for a setback, you set yourself up for...well, let's not mention that possibility.

I mention this because I must admit that I am not looking forward to the end of the rehabilitation program. I know it is a way off, but it already concerns me a little.

While you might think I find rehab to be boring, or a nuisance. Quite the contrary, I feel safe at rehab. There is a professional there watching me & pushing me. I am wearing a monitor that shows how hard I am working and giving me proof that I can push harder. Finishing rehab will be a little...yep, you guessed it..."scary." No more monitor, no more professional.

It was the same when I left the hospital. I was kind of afraid to leave. When I was at the hospital I was safe. I was on a monitor. I was a call away from people who could save my life if need be. Then all of a sudden they say, "Go home and take care of yourself." Wait, don't you guys know I will push to hard? I will try too much?

Oh, wait...Ashley is here...I'm good...I have my own personal warden to keep me in line. WHEW!

The heart is a funny thing. You need to treat it like a muscle, but it isn't the same. Other muscles will either work or they won't. Your bicep will either bend your arm, or it won't.  It will either be able to lift a weight, or it won't. If a muscle is TOO badly damaged, you can support it or you can immobilize it. The HEART will beat. It will beat if it is healthy, it will beat if it is sick. You CAN'T support it really, you CAN'T immobilize it (yeah, an immobile heart would be BAD huh?). You don't realize you have overdone it until it is too late.

I don't know about you, but that scares me to....

...let's just say it scares the CRAP out of me.

Wish me luck.

Good night & God bless.

Went back to work today. I didn't do anything special, just about 5 hours of reading and getting caught back up to speed. Productivity not withstanding, it was a good day.

The folks on the team were all glad to see me & glad I am "okay." I told the story of what happened a few times...an elevator version of course. I talked about how I felt & I was asked a few times if I had any signs that there was an issue.

It was great to know people missed me & were concerned for me. It is always nice to know you are appreciated. But, what was really nice was that no one made TOO big a deal about things; about the event, about my situation, about being careful around me. I got a warm welcome back and started to get back to work. It was normal, it was good.

See, I am not one who likes to have a big deal made about "me." I don't do well with being the center of attention. I like flying under the radar. I like a quiet compliment. I like making others feel special. ME? I'm just plain, nothing special. So I really appreciated getting a chance to just kind of blend back into the team today.

So how do I feel now, at the end of the day?

I will admit I am a little tired, but since I didn't exactly push myself, I feel pretty good overall. I was even able to take the kids to Cub Scouts without any trouble.

So, I figure that I will work my way back in step by step this week. Go to the office a few hours, come home for a little rest....very little; 3 kids remember?...

If I feel up to it, I'll do some more work from home. Next week, we'll see about full days at the office.

I am taking everyone's advice, working my way back in slowly and not taking things TOO seriously. That is not me....I wanted to just jump back in & show that I could do it. I WANTED to prove this heart attack didn't get ME! Then I remembered a promise I made my wife and kids. I promised that I would take care of myself & that I would live for a good bit longer.

Well, stress is not my friend right now. I need to keep that bad boy under control. I need to be able to do my work without getting too concerned about it. If I can do that I will keep my promise to the most important people in my life.

The first step was admitting that I needed to slow down and get back to work in stages. I did that. Now, I guess we'll just have to wait and see how well I do with the rest of the steps.

....I'll try not to get to stressed out about it though.......

Lesson Learned:
Sometimes it isn't that you need help form others. Sometimes you need to help yourself by recognizing your limitations and living within them. At some point, we all have to take a break, rest, recharge. Help yourselves be willing to slow down if you need to.

Good night & God bless.

Church took on a special meaning today.

During the mass, the priest began his prayers for everyone. Nothing he hasn't done a thousand times before; nothing I haven't HEARD a thousand times. This time was different. When our priest ask God to bless those that were recovering from illness, Ashley put her hand on my shoulder & it hit me...

...no ASHLEY didn't hit me...IT hit me....I was one of the people the priest was praying for.

I've always been the one praying for someone else. I mean, when we are at mass, we don't ask God to pray for short, brown eyed Irishmen. I have never been the one that the whole church was saying a prayer for. I wondered, did anyone else in the building KNOW they were praying for me when they prayed for those in recovery? Regardless, I knew.

As of today, I knew that for the next few weeks at least, I was part of the group of people that every Catholic church in the country was going to say a prayer for. That part of mass will take on new meaning for me each week from now on.


I wanted to take some time today to talk about some people that have been impacted by my situation. People I have not mentioned yet.

I have 2 sisters and my mom & dad are both still alive. They are all very special to me and I feel the need to apologize to them for adding some heartache to their lives. Don't get me wrong. No one MADE me feel this way. My family has been nothing but concerned for my well being.

I just want to let them know that I am sorry for letting this whole thing happen.

My sisters & I have always been close (well, once they stopped PICKING ON ME, anyway). We can talk about anything & we use each other for help and support all of the time. I think that is what I am apologizing to them for...this time I was the reason they would need support. Not only that, but I was now NOT one of the people they could look to FOR that support.

Terrie, Linda...your little brother is gonna be okay & I am sorry that you had to worry; especially during the holidays which I know are important to both of you.

To my mom & dad, I must really say I am sorry. My parents have had a tough year. Without detailing the issues, suffice to say that 2015 will not be a year that they remember fondly. At a time when they needed a SON, I provided them with another worry. What's worse for my dad is that he couldn't help.

Yeah, see...the thing is I am just like my dad. He is a helper, a fixer. If someone has a problem, my dad wants to help. This time he was powerless. He was 600 miles away and could do nothing about the situation.

Mom, Dad...I don't know if you will ever read this, but know that I am so sorry that you had to suffer through the last few weeks and that you didn't get to see the kids for Christmas.  As soon as we can get there, we'll make it happen.


Tomorrow you all get to hear how my first day back to work went.
Keep your fingers crossed & we'll see you then.

Good night & God bless.

Ya know what?

Writing daily is HARD! It is even harder when you are a math guy and English class was something to be survived rather than enjoyed.

Okay...whining for the night is done. On to the blog.

Tonight will be the first posting where I don't have a look back since we are all caught up. From this point on, this blog will be about the present, about today. I'll try to keep it interesting, informative and at times (if I can) humorous.

As the days go on, my story will begin to get a bit mundane. You will only want to read, "today was a pretty average day," so many times. Quite frankly, I will only want to WRITE it so many times. So, periodically I will break away from me & present information about heart health, or about EMTs, or some other related topic.

Today is actually a little bit of a day like that. Today will not be so much about me, but about others.

While this blog is to be a thank you to everyone, I never intended to list all of the people who have been so wonderful to me. I made that decision for two very simple reasons.

1. If I forgot anyone, it would be a great injustice. One I am not prepared to cause.
2. I don't want to make anyone feel their help, prayers, or visits were any more or less important than anyone else's. IF I tried to talk about every person, my posts would be 2 hours long and somewhere along the line, I would not do justice to how special any particular individual act was. Again, not something I want to do.

However, I want to make two particular "shout-outs" today and tomorrow.

Today, I want to recognize my in-laws and the role they played in my story.

Kris, my brother-in-law, was in Raleigh when everything happened & by mid afternoon Sunday, he had dropped everything & was at my bedside. He headed to our home & collected some items for Ashley to stay with me. His day suddenly became longer & more challenging. I just want him to know how much I appreciate the love and care he showed that day.

If you have been reading the blog from the beginning, you know that my in-laws took care of the kids for Ashley & I for a few days. What you DON'T know is that my mother & father-in-law jumped into their car in Chicago on a couple of hours notice & drove to NC without hesitation. In fact, they nearly drove the entire 13 hour trip on Sunday; straight through. Folks, I am here to tell you that the ride form Chicago to NC is not an easy one. the first 1/2 is hypnotizingly flat. The second 1/2 is through some of the toughest mountain roads in the East. Just when Paula & Kerry would have been the most tired, the drive got more challenging.

After a very tiring drive, these wonderful people took care of 3 children for nearly a week and got ready for Thanksgiving all while worrying about he welfare of their daughter.

I have said countless times that I am very lucky. Another reason I AM so lucky is that I actually LIKE my in-laws. Do we always agree? Probably not. Do we always get our relationship right? Probably not. We are family after all; we have good days and bad. But when it comes right down to it, I like knowing that I have the family I have; all of the family I have.

So, while I can't thank everyone personally, I needed to take this opportunity to thank my in-laws for putting their lives on hold for Ashley & I. And, I want to thank them for making me one of those few lucky husbands that likes his family "in-law".

I love you guys.

That's it for tonight. Stop back tomorrow for my other "shout out.".
Goodnight & God bless.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

I hope you all enjoyed the guest author last night. I was honored that Ashley wanted to be a part of this blog. Now you are back to being stuck with me.

As I lay in bed last night, surprised that I actually MADE it past midnight, I reflected on the day.

It was strange.

I almost wasn't here to "ring in the new year." I had ALL KINDS of reasons to do something big; go to a party, make all sorts of resolutions, make some big announcements. But, I was perfectly happy laying next to my angel; awake but barely aware of how close midnight was. Truthfully, I wasn't even doing a whole lot of, "What if's." It actually felt very anti-climactic. I was just laying in bed, watching TV just like it was any other night. By about 1:00 a.m., I was feeling like I did not give the night enough of an exclamation point. Yet, at the same time, I felt no NEED to do so.

It was strange.


Today was totally different. Today was NOT strange. Today was nice.

The kids ALL slept till 8:00 a.m. (and people called ME a miracle). We hung out, we did a whole lot of nothing, and our good friends the Steele family came over. It is always nice to see the Steele family. There is always good conversation, a few laughs and some fellowship.

We EVEN pulled out the good dishes (TWO miracles in ONE day?!?!?!?).

Then, just about dusk, my family went for a walk with me. It was just us, walking through the Clemmons West neighborhood. It was cool, not cold, it was getting dark enough to see everyone's Christmas lights. The boys were having fun, mommy was pushing the stroller the little girl was...well, she was "being two." It was perfect (even the "being two" part). I had as much fun on this walk as I have had at any big New Years bash.

Lesson Learned:
You never know where the perfect memories are gonna come from. New Years Eve, is supposed to be about big parties, champagne and resolutions. This year should have been particularly poignant and festive for me. Yet, something as simple as walking for 30 minutes is what will stick with me forever because it was JUST what I needed it to be.


That's today...what about the story?

Well gang, it seems like I am all caught up as far as the story goes. I think from this point on that we can just discuss today, the present.

We've seen everything from my initial signs of pain to my last trip to the ER. I talked about the heart monitor I wore home, and the results from that monitor. That is about where we started this journey together. 

Thank you to everyone who is joining me on this trip. Thank to everyone who has brought us dinner, sent me prayers and wishes, and taken a minute out of their day to "check in on me."

If you could all do me one favor to kick off the new year, I would appreciate it. Will each of you tell one person about this blog? Use Facebook, a text message, an email, or (heaven forbid) call a friend and talk to them about it.

Who knows, if we can get enough people reading this stuff, maybe we can find that one person who will really find some helpful words.

Finally tonight, I hope you will all come back tomorrow to see where we go from here.

Good night & God bless.