Church took on a special meaning today.

During the mass, the priest began his prayers for everyone. Nothing he hasn't done a thousand times before; nothing I haven't HEARD a thousand times. This time was different. When our priest ask God to bless those that were recovering from illness, Ashley put her hand on my shoulder & it hit me...

...no ASHLEY didn't hit me...IT hit me....I was one of the people the priest was praying for.

I've always been the one praying for someone else. I mean, when we are at mass, we don't ask God to pray for short, brown eyed Irishmen. I have never been the one that the whole church was saying a prayer for. I wondered, did anyone else in the building KNOW they were praying for me when they prayed for those in recovery? Regardless, I knew.

As of today, I knew that for the next few weeks at least, I was part of the group of people that every Catholic church in the country was going to say a prayer for. That part of mass will take on new meaning for me each week from now on.


I wanted to take some time today to talk about some people that have been impacted by my situation. People I have not mentioned yet.

I have 2 sisters and my mom & dad are both still alive. They are all very special to me and I feel the need to apologize to them for adding some heartache to their lives. Don't get me wrong. No one MADE me feel this way. My family has been nothing but concerned for my well being.

I just want to let them know that I am sorry for letting this whole thing happen.

My sisters & I have always been close (well, once they stopped PICKING ON ME, anyway). We can talk about anything & we use each other for help and support all of the time. I think that is what I am apologizing to them for...this time I was the reason they would need support. Not only that, but I was now NOT one of the people they could look to FOR that support.

Terrie, Linda...your little brother is gonna be okay & I am sorry that you had to worry; especially during the holidays which I know are important to both of you.

To my mom & dad, I must really say I am sorry. My parents have had a tough year. Without detailing the issues, suffice to say that 2015 will not be a year that they remember fondly. At a time when they needed a SON, I provided them with another worry. What's worse for my dad is that he couldn't help.

Yeah, see...the thing is I am just like my dad. He is a helper, a fixer. If someone has a problem, my dad wants to help. This time he was powerless. He was 600 miles away and could do nothing about the situation.

Mom, Dad...I don't know if you will ever read this, but know that I am so sorry that you had to suffer through the last few weeks and that you didn't get to see the kids for Christmas.  As soon as we can get there, we'll make it happen.


Tomorrow you all get to hear how my first day back to work went.
Keep your fingers crossed & we'll see you then.

Good night & God bless.