I have officially been back at work for a week. It wasn't the most productive week for sure, but it WAS a week. I went to the office about 4 hours a day. 

The team at RJ Reynolds has been great. They have been very understanding of my situation and they have been concerned for my well being. A special thanks to them for allowing me to work my way back into it at my speed.

Now, I am sure I will be under pressure to complete my work soon enough, but for now...things are going smoothly.

On the rehabilitation side, things are going well. Each day I have been going a little faster than the time before or I have been hitting my highest speed earlier in the workout. I have finally gotten to a point where my heart rate is in the range they want me to be in.

Today, in fact, I was up over 150 beats per minute (I KNOW, pretty fast, huh?!?!?). They are wanting me to consistently reach that range and, eventually, I am to reach 165 beats per minute or so.

Something else happened today. Ashley & I had the first real discussion that went something like this:

Me - "I'm going in a few minutes early today so I can get something done before rehab."

Her - "You are going into the office again?"

Me - "Yeah."

Her - "You have rehab, and you have the kids by yourself tonight."

Me - "Yeah, I know."

(Here comes the important part.)

Her - "That's too much."

Me - "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Her - "That's too much."

Me - "I feel good today."

Her - "Because you haven't been doing TOO much."

Me - "I mean, I feel like this is not too  much."

Her - "That's too much."

SO, are you getting the idea? Apparently, I tried to do too much today. Now, whether or not it WAS too much is not the point...(yes, like you all, I can hear Ashley, "That WAS too much.")

The point is that we had the discussion. At every point in a recovery like this there is a least 1 of 2 discussions. Either the survivor wants to do TOO much, or the supporter needs the survivor to take on more. You know either, "You are not ready for all that yet, slow down." or "It is time to get off your lazy..."

In our case, I tried to bite off more than maybe I should have. Ashley certainly thought I did. 

Today was the first time Ashley needed to just come out & tell me I was pushing too hard.

Another step in the recovery has passed; we had "the talk" today. I was wondering when we would have this discussion. I have known a number of folks who have had to recover from a trauma and this kind of discussion always always happens at some point.

I think I did better than most. I mean it took a whole 6 weeks before Ashley had to call me out. Who would have thought I could hold out that long before I tried to push it? If someone had a pool, I'd have bet on 3 weeks, tops.

Anyway, we had the talk, it is behind us, and we can continue with my recovery.

Good night & ...... WHAT? Oh, yeah. Sorry.... 

So, how DID today go? WAS it too much?

As it turns out, I feel pretty good. I am glad I did what I did. 

And in the final analysis....

.....remember, Ashley is my wife and I am a smart man, so here it comes.....

"That was too much." 

;)

Good night & God bless.