SO, two days have passed since my last post & my company annual meeting is over.
As for the meeting it was pretty typical. A little bit of "rah-rah" stuff, a little bit of business and a little bit of getting caught up with folks you don't see very often.


The meeting was PRETTY typical. For me it was a little different this year. I spent more than my fair share of time saying , "Thank you," and "I am glad that I am still here, too." I also retold my story a few times. Certainly, spending time telling a story about myself is not typical for me, or for meetings at my company.


There were a number of folks at the meeting who were glad to see me, or who were not sure they WOULD see me. I got hugs from people that I was not sure knew my name. It was nice to be appreciated but it was humbling at the same time. For me, it was a little awkward. I have never been comfortable getting compliments or being the topic of conversation.


...and I can tell you first hand, that having survived a heart attack will put you at the list of topics to talk about. You just have to live with that fact.


FORTUNATELY, if you ARE forced to "live with that fact," it means you are still living; that is a good thing.




Anyway, it was nice that almost everyone who knew me at the meeting, made a special point of letting me know they had been thinking about me.


What I can tell you other than that is this:

It is VERY hard to eat heart healthy at a corporate meeting.

Dinner was very good, but dinner was at an Italian restaurant, Lasagna, chicken parm, and alfredo are not what one would call "heart healthy." Lunches were not much better, sandwiches and chips.


OH! And dessert for lunch was a sandwich cookie made of 2 full sized chocolate chip cookies with cream in between....DELICIOUS LOOKING, but not at all what I could eat (don't worry Ash, I resisted).


The food all looked wonderful, and smelled wonderful. Kudos to the chef. However, other than the veggie wraps, I can't tell you what any of it tasted like. I couldn't eat it. (See Ashley, I TOLD you I was a good boy)


That will be my biggest problem going forward whenever I am on the road; eating right.
I mean, I can find a hotel with a treadmill.
I can make sure I take my meds.
I can get plenty of sleep without a 2 year old coming into my room every 3 hours.




But, eating right? That is going to be a tough nut to crack on the road.


If anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear them.


Good night & God bless.

Wow...this weekend is going to be TOUGH!


I am away from Ashley & the kids. I don't like to BE away from Ashley & the kids. But it is only 2 nights & I can handle that (barely).


Aside from missing the family, the tough thing about being away from home is that getting food I am able to eat is going to be hard at these restaurants..


Tonight for instance, I think I did okay, but not great. I had a veggie burger & TRIED to have grilled veggies. Problem is the grilled veggies were DRENCHED in salt. I could TASTE it.


WELL CRAP!


So, then I figure, skip the veggies (can you believe I have to SKIP THE VEGGIES???). So, now I am still hungry, so I order a sushi roll that is made with a soy wrap and not seaweed. I hoped that would save on salt. Well, it might have, but there was another problem...


IT       WAS       HUGE!




I have had larger sushi rolls and smaller ones (well, okay TINY rolls at bad sushi restaurants), but this one was enough for TWO.


All of this led me to do something I have not done since my heart attack...


...What do you think it was?...NO! I didn't eat an order of fries; you silly people.




I think I actually over-ate for dinner tonight.


I know I am paying  for it....I felt over full all night & I had a headache.


I guess I need to be more careful for the rest of the weekend.


Wish me luck & don't tell Ashley, but I DID eat 2 French fries.


Good night & God bless.

The guys at work have been super as I told you. They have all been supportive and they have made sure to keep me from getting to worked up over the job.

What they have NOT done is make sure I eat right.

Just look at what is awaiting me in the middle of the room every day!!!

Yes, normally, I'd be grabbing a handful of peanut M&Ms each time I walked by. In fact, I'd probably add some pretzels too. However, now...I have to figure out how to "walk on by" and skip the candy.

Okay, so you say...."DUDE, just SKIP IT!"

Of course what you DON'T know is that there is free coffee too. Yes, FREE COFFEE!!!

In the hallowed halls of RJ Reynolds Tobacco, I am "that guy." I am the guy who is always carrying a full cup of coffee with him. Well, actually, I guess I used to be "that guy." Now I am the guy who has to use the coffee pot with the orange top.


Uh, for those of you that are coffee virgins...that is the pot of DECAF coffee.
I am probably one of 10 people in the whole building who drinks decaf.


And, now I know why....decaf tastes different. It is just not as good. But alas, I am a decaf drinker now....oh well.

SO, this is one of the things I need to get used to; no candy (or very little anyway...don't tell Ashley) and decaf coffee almost all of the time.

It won't be easy, but I AM feeling benefits of this new set of eating habits...I have lost upwards of 25 pounds....yep TWENTY-FIVE. Most of my pants are too big now. I am now wearing belts that didn't go around my waist and pants that I couldn't get closed back in November.

Yes, this is one of those "dark cloud/silver lining" moments.

Pre event, I was over 170 pounds. This morning I weighed in at 147. I have been eating right and eating less. Thanks to Ashley, I have plenty of good-for-me foods to eat...and someone watching me to make sure I DO eat them.

Let's hope I can keep it up while I am away at my company annual meeting. I promised my wife that I would take care of myself...even if she isn't there to watch over me. Help me have the strength to keep that promise.

I leave tomorrow & get back on Saturday for the meeting. That is 6 or 7 meals away form home. Wish me luck in finding stuff I can eat, and say a little prayer that I EAT it.

And, please say a prayer for Ashley. She does not like me to travel at ALL. Since this will be our first time truly apart since November 22, she is going to have particular trouble.

Anyone reading who has our number...she'd love a quick call.

That's it for tonight....

Good night & God bless.

I was going to try a video post tonight, but alas (or lucky for you) I have a cold that has given me laryngitis. It would make for a bit of a boring post.


I would either sound like a mime doing a skit, or I would sound like a bad cell phone connection.


So, you guys get to READ tonight's post again.




I did mention I had a cold didn't I?


Fortunately that did not prevent me form going to rehab. However, it DID prevent me from taking another step FORWARD in rehab. The ladies who take care of me during each session were happy to have me come in, but relegated me to walking.


They didn't want me to push myself with a cold. I guess it would have made things worse.


So, I spent 30 minutes walking; topped out at 4 miles per hour. It wasn't a really hard workout, but it was a workout none the less....I told you, I'm gonna keep on truckin'.


What was actually pretty cool about today was that it was my 13th session. Since the tracking sheets we fill out only have 12 rows, I was onto my SECOND PAGE of workouts. And, until today, each was more aggressive than the last. My rehabilitation has been going well and I am very happy with my progress.


I also got to use my new birthday present.


For my birthday, I got a smart watch with a heart rate monitor on it. So, I can read my text messages and emails while I work out. I can ALSO track my heart rate when I work out at home.


If you remember, while I am in rehab, I wear a portable EKG so that the staff can monitor me. However, I didn't have a way of making sure I was within my proper range when I workout at home. This little gadget will allow me to workout without blowing my heart up.


The nice thing about having the smart watch today was that I could check the accuracy of my new toy.


Guess what...it worked !!! 


Now I can rest assured that when I work out at home, I can stay at the heart rate that my Exercise Physiologist wants me to.


Did I mention that I can play Dick Tracy too! It is way cool.


THANKS ASHLEY & KIDS FOR MY AWESOME BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!!!!


Keep reading this week, and you might get to read a guest author again. I have to go to Orlando, FL for a company meeting and will probably have to miss a day or two. Keep your eyes peeled.


Good night & God bless.

Okay, so you know those darn Pinewood Derby cars we worked on yesterday.
THEY WERE AWESOME!!!!!!

As much as I didn't want to spend the time yesterday. As much as the day was almost ruined by knowing I almost let my sons down. Those cars made me so glad I was alive today to see them run.

Neither of my sons was the fastest car out there. But both boys had a smile on their face when their car OR their brother's car was running. That was all I needed to see to know that God had smiled on me yesterday when we decided to go ahead and build the cars.

My 6 year old was SO excited to see his name on the video screen and watch his car run...no matter where he finished. He didn't care if his car was the best looking or fastest car. He was just so excited to HAVE a car.

My 10 year old won an award. He won the "Best Scout Made Car." That was the best award he could have won. Folks realized HE designed it, HE shaped it, HE painted it; and they thought it was still pretty great. Can you say, "wall-to-wall smile"?

Yesterday I forgot why being a daddy is so important. Today I was reminded why being a daddy is so awesome and WHY I am so lucky to be alive to realize that. Tonight is the stuff that makes memories. Tonight is the night we will talk about again in 20 years when my grandsons are getting ready for THEIR Pinewood Derby.

Tonight was the reminder that I need to do well in rehab tomorrow, and why I need to eat right.

Tonight was a good night.

For those of you still with me, please don't forget to pass this along to someone who might need it.
For those of you who are NOT still with me....oh, wait, yeah....woops, never mind.

Good night & God bless.

First....YES!!! You go BRONCOS! I was so happy to see that game!

Next...YES!!! You go PANTHERS!! Taking it to the Cardinals!

Third...Sorry, Broncs, love Peyton & the Orange Crush, but I gotta go with the home team.

So, now that the sport report is over, it is time to get to the human interest story...mine.
Let's go on scene to...well...me, for today's story.

Pretend I am holding a mike talking to a camera...

Good evening ladies & gentlemen, I am sorry to say that today was a bit tough, BECAUSE it was a great day...great with the exception of just a few minutes. Those few minutes could have ruined the day, but with a little help, they made the day...let's see what happened

My sons will be competing in their Pinewood Derby tomorrow. I had a GREAT time working with them to build their cars today. Yep, we did it all in one day, two cars lots of love & laughs.

What I had trouble with was two-fold:
 - About 4 pm, I had the soreness in my chest bone that I have had for the last 2 months. It was that, for sure...I know the difference now between that and "chest pain"...but it just hit me at a funny time and I had to stop & think for a sec. I AM SICK of worrying about this. I can not wait until I can do things without thinking about my heart. I can't wait for the rib pain to go away. Someone tell me when that will be. PLEASE.

- The second thing that bothered me was worse. The ONLY reason we built the boys cars today was because of my oldest son. I was all ready to use my condition to pass on the derby because I didn't want to do it. We basically let time pass and never started on the cars & I was fine with just not doing it.

MY SON on the other hand was ready to go. When I told him we were likely not going to get to it, he looked at me, teared up & told me how much it stunk that he only got to do 1 derby in 4 years of scouting. So, yeah, Super Dad I am not. That was one of the worst feelings I have ever had. I was about to let BOTH sons down in a selfish bout of pity.

Thank God for my oldest. He showed me what a jerk I was being and kick-started the day. At 1 pm we decided that we were going to "just do it". We decided on design and colors, got to building and are all done. We finished up at about 10 pm. Consider we threw in a trip to see mommy, to see our potential new home, and dinner (oh, yeah AND watched two little football games) and I think we did pretty well.

So, y'all need to say a big thanks to my boys for reminding me why it is fun to be a dad & what it means to have someone be THAT important to you.

A tough few minutes made today a hard one. Fortunately I have my own personal counselors (a 6 year old and a 10 year old) who can give me the strength to turn a potentially crappy day into one of the nicest days I have had in a very long time; and giving me a few hours where I was so focused on THEM, that I got to forget about me.

Thanks boys. Thanks for making it fun to be a dad. I love you.

Here are the cars.
The 6 yr old's car on the right is a "sports racer". He wanted it shaped like an arrow & then painted a baseball and crossed bats on top, painted other balls on the sides & cheered on the Panthers.

The one on the left is the Panther's team bus as seen through the imagination of a 10 year old. The picture does not do it justice. It is two tone; black & turquoise. It has windows, a door and, of course, the Go Cats on the side.

Pray they find speed between here & the track tomorrow night.

Good night & God bless

I am sorry...

...I am sorry I didn't eat better before.
...I am sorry I didn't take Cholesterol medicine  before.
...I am SORRY that I have been away form my blog for a couple of days.

Yep, I am sorry that some of you have been looking and have not found my blog for the last two days. It seems that BUYING A HOUSE takes up a LOT of your time.

Yep, Ashley & I took the plunge & put in an offer. Next thing you know we are under contract.
I kind of told you about it last time, but it is a nice place with more room, less yard to take care of & it is only 2 years old.

I guess we'll see just how much stress REALLY comes with buying a new home.
Maybe I could write a book...How to Buy a Home On One Heart Attack.

Nah...who'd read it? 11 people TOPS!
For the REST of the excitement today, just look outside (if you live on the East Coast).

We had about 2-3 inches of snow with rain & sleet mixed in. Made for heavy, wet snow.
I took the kids out after lunch and gave Mackenzie her first ever sled ride.

I'd like to say she LOVED it, but Ill have to call it a "mild affection." She liked it, but didn't love it.

I'll have to admit, I was the same way. I WANTED to love it, but I couldn't. Problem was that every time I picked her up, or I pulled her in the sled, I got scared. In the back of my mind, I kept picturing myself in the snow holding my chest asking William to call 911.

Now, understand that nothing hurt, I wasn't short of breath, I wasn't feeling any issues. I just kept thinking; remembering all of the horror stories you hear about how dangerous it is to be exerting yourself outside.

So...it appears I am not "over it". I still have that little voice reminding me that things were not so rosy two months ago...

...Oh my GOD...yesterday was the TWO MONTH anniversary of my heart attack.

Okay, realization interruption over...

The little voice kind of ruined things for me today.

But...finding the silver lining here...I am writing my blog, we had a GREAT dinner with some of the best neighbors a guy could ask for, and I kissed my kids good night yet again. So, that means I played in the snow with my kids, I survived (there is that word again), and I lived to tell about it with no apparent problems.

So what? Soooooo, that means I have done ANOTHER thing, passed ANOTHER test, lived ANOTHER day with no problems. I have taken another step along the path of being able to move beyond being a "heart attack survivor," and returning to just being Craig.

Happily, I have you guys along for the trip.
Thank you for keeping up with me & continuing to join me each day along the way.

Good night & God bless.

My wife informed me this morning that I never posted last night's entry.
So, looks like y'all get a special bonus tonight...a TWOFER!

As I sit here typing, the rest of the crew is asleep. They are upstairs, quiet, content and secure. I am so happy to be able to say that right now.

Outside it is cold, dark, snow covered and icy. In fact, it MIGHT snow enough this weekend to require shoveling. I even bought a new shovel. She's a beauty; ergonomic handle, corrosion resistant, reinforced edge. I mean she is....oh, yeah....who cares....

SO, I have this new shovel & today I was reminded that I was not going to be allowed to use it.
I was told that I was not going to be shoveling anything at all, any time soon. That was not a happy thing.

Now, most people would be happy they were told not to shovel snow. I normally would be as well.

But I wasn't told not to shovel snow. I was told I was not ALLOWED to shovel snow. I was told I wasn't going to shovel snow even if I WANTED TO.

Ya know, I wasn't even told that. No, what I was REALLY told was, "You are going to sit and watch someone ELSE do what you should be doing. You will watch your sons take do your job."

That is a tough thing to be told...even if not in so many words.

Who told me? The Cardiologist? The PT staff? Nope, my wife and my baby sitter.

In no uncertain terms, they told me I wasn't shoveling snow anymore. As someone who always feels the need to take care of others, and as someone who is always afraid people will think I am not taking care of my children well enough, this was a tough thing to be told. It cuts right to the heart and reinforces the fear that I am not that great a father or caretaker.

Why am I worrying about this? Who cares about snow?

Why? Well, it really brought home my situation and condition.

I am forever going to be referred to as a "heart attack survivor." No matter how good I feel; no matter what tests I pass, I will be a "survivor."

Survivor, that should be a good word right? It means you toughed it out, passed the test, beat the odds. I did ALL of that.

Unfortunately, it also means that you are under scrutiny, on watch, needing care. It means that you are "not allowed" to do a number of things.

This is a sad state to be in. While I could not be happier that I survived, I was hoping to avoid being a "survivor." There is a difference.

I was hoping to "put this behind me." But, I see today, that it will never be behind me.

Or will it?  Will I get a doctor to say there is no indication of a heart attack? Will I pass a medical test some day that says that my heart is as strong as it has ever been? Will I be told I can forget what happened? Yeah, uh, no. Like it or not, my heart was strained and there are consequences.

But, will I be ALLOWED to shovel snow?

Well, I can tell you right now that I have set myself that goal; to shovel snow.

But this goal is so much more than being "cleared" to shovel snow.

I want to be out from under the microscope, off the "watch list," cut lose.
I am going to work hard enough that everyone sees that I survived a heart attack, but never thinks to call me "a survivor."

They'll see the fighter, the worker, the doer, but not the "survivor."

With your support, I believe I can keep the faith, work hard enough, and finally reach that goal; even if I live in Hawaii.....where it doesn't snow.


Good night & God bless.

Okay, so, after all of the things that have happened to us in the last 2 months, what would you all think if we...

...MOVED!

Yep, I didn't have enough stress, I figured I'd see about getting us into a house where we would actually FIT.

See, when Ashley & I moved into this house, it was just THAT.....Ashley & I. This was our 5 year house while someone finished a graduate degree.

And Now???

Ashley & I & a 10 year old & a 6 year old & a 2 year old AND a 95 pound dog. WE are all in the same house THIRTEEN YEARS later.

So, while you might think we are adding stress, I think we are taking it away potentially. We are looking at larger homes, but they are in areas that are slightly more rural and so they are not much more expensive. AND, each of the boys would have their own bedroom with a little room to stretch.

So, now we need to go through the mortgage application process, the negotiation, the potential moving....oh, wait...this was supposed to LESSEN the stress huh?

Well, I think it will. The house has been weighing on my mind for some time now & if we can get some closure on that, I will be happy. AND...if Ashley likes it....well, THAT will just make my life one hundred times less stressful.

What do y'all think? What do we do; lay low & "relax" (sorry dear, I used that word)? OR, do we go for it & potentially put the issues of this place behind us?

Enquiring mind wants to know...

Huh?
What?

How am I doing?

Oh!...yeah, I am doing okay. I went OVER 6 miles an hour today in Physical Therapy & hit a heart rate of 170. Not for long...but...I DID IT!

Can't wait till I am cleared to do actual resistance training.

Good night & Go bless

What should I write about today?

Should I mention how I worked pretty much a full day today?
Should I write about how I was worried that I gained a pound today; or that I didn't work out at all?

MAAAYYYYBE I should write about being excited that I might get to do resistance training in physical therapy tomorrow.

I think I should just get back to the original reason I started this journey...

...'Nuf said...

Love you all.

Good night & God bless

Yesterday I went from one end of the life spectrum to the other. And my oldest child came with me.

My son and I attended the memorial service for his Cub Scout friend in the morning.
Then we jumped into the car, drove to Raleigh & attended the baby shower for my soon-to-be born niece.

We watched the world say goodbye to one young person and prepare to welcome a new one.
Tears to smiles, sad to happy, memories to anticipation; we walked the line from one end to the other all in one day.

Man was I tired at the end of the day. What about my boy though? How did he do?

Those of you who know me, know how old my oldest is...he is not an adult by any means.
However, he IS perceptive and more caring than any kid I have ever met.

So, I spent a good part of the memorial service wondering what was going through his mind.

How does he reconcile seeing this sadness in the morning, with an afternoon watching people play games and eat cake? What's more, does he connect any of this to my situation?

I know what I thought.

When I wasn't wondering about my son's state of mind, all I could think was that I was so glad that he did not have to go through TWO memorial services within less than 2 months. I couldn't keep my own situation out of the equation.

What did HE think about though? What impact did all of this have on my son?

I got my answer pretty quickly. After we were in the car for no more than 5 minutes, my son started crying. When I asked him, he admitted that he was sad thinking about what would happen to our family if I had died; and thinking about how much our lives would change now and get harder.

He got "it." He took the sense of finality at the funeral and connected it to what "could have been" in our case.

He understood the weight of the situation and in the car, my son finally let it out.

Now, he didn't blow it out, he didn't "break down." He teared up, cried a little & talked to me about how he felt. Like any pre-teen, my son spoke about his feelings...and then...let it drop. So, we didn't talk long about it, but I knew now that my boy realized how serious our family situation was 2 months ago, and he connected the dots yesterday.

Now, while I was tired after going from one extreme to the other, I have to thank God for that baby shower. The laughter and smiles (and some cake) let my son forget about the morning's tears and get back to being a young boy; smiling, having fun, and seeing family.

At the time I thought yesterday was to be a challenge for me. It was a long day. It was a day that  I thought I would need to do a lot of explaining about life and death to my son.

In reality, yesterday was a reminder that God brings us what we need.
Yesterday God brought my son JUST what he needed.

In the morning God gave him the opportunity to grow up a little; to let his feelings out. My son finally got to tell me how he was feeling and "let it out". He finally got to see the finality of it all.

In the afternoon, God gave my boy the opportunity to forget the tears of the morning; to play and laugh and have some cake.

After a sad morning, God gave my boy the chance to return to being...
...well...
...a boy.

God gave me just what I needed too; time with my kids, time with my wife, time to smile and time to be...
...well...
...a boy.

Good night and God bless.

Thirty days hath September, April, June, and...

...this blog...

Yes, believe it or not, this is the 30th entry for Thethankyouyear.blogspot.com. So, what do I have to say for myself?

Uh, can you guess?

Hmmmm?

Well, thank you is it....Thank you to all of you that have stuck it out & read along with me.

So far, you have all joined me for a heart attack, a surgery, a PAINFUL set of cramps. You have also witnessed a return home, a teary-eyed 10 year old who learned what was wrong with his dad. Not only that, you have read about my medications, my boring days of doing nothing and my rehabilitation experience.

Since starting this blog, you all have opened Christmas or Chanukah presents (or BOTH, Linda) and you have welcomed in a new year. If you are me...well, okay work with me here...you cursed the heck outta 2015.

Unfortunately, you witnessed the deaths of David Bowie, Alan Rickman and, more importantly, the death of an 11 year old boy in a tragic way.

While you were reading my posts, three people spent a buck and instantly became some of the richest people in the country. (By the way, if any of you were one of those three Powerball winners; CONGRATS! and I am VERY happy to announce that I found out we are cousins.)

Now, why am I telling you about all of this? Am I afraid you were so involved in my blog that you needed a current events lesson?

Uh, no, I didn't think that. BUT...if that IS the case, glad I could help.

No, what I am trying to do is point out just how much life I have left to live and how grateful I am to God for letting me live it. In just this short month, we have seen so many things, and felt feelings from sheer joy, to exasperation, to boredom, and even complete sadness.

And all of the feelings and experiences have been awesome to me. Not awesome as in, "Dude! That was AWESOME!" But awesome as in I am in awe of each. I can't tell you I was happy to be sad the other day. The day I found out about William's friend was horrible, but I was in awe of the situation. I was in awe of the power with which that news grabbed me.

And...as strange as it may sound...I was glad I was there to GET that message.

The last 2 months have been pretty normal. Famous people died, they always do. Friends have had good news...and bad. Like it or not, that will happen all the time. Stocks rose and fell, we ate too much turkey, and Santa visited millions of homes all in one night.

Pretty basic stuff.

But, in just that short time, for as plain as it was, SO much has happened. So many things that I might not have ever seen took place. So much that my family would have looked at in a different way if only Ashley or I had waited another 2 minutes, or tried to "tough it out."

I am a very lucky man, a blessed man and I have never known it as concretely as I do now. Every boring day, every run-of-the-mill event, every little hello from a friend will drive that point home even more.

Please know I mean these 5 words for each of you with all of my heart...

Good night and God Bless

30, 6, 10, 5, 130, 145, 160

Nope not the winning Powerball numbers, the winning rehab numbers.

Today was a benchmark day. I have been doing 30 minutes on the treadmill for a while now. But today, I actually hit 6 miles an hour. That's a 10 minute mile. And for me, THAT is a good solid run folks. I was ACTAULLY RUNNING today.

In fact, I was running for a good 5 minutes. I am psyched!

I have been in rehab since right before Christmas and I have progressed from a simple walk around a flat track, to walking on an incline to...<gulp>...RUNNING!!!

Better yet, I have been able to surpass my goal heart rate in just a few weeks. My Exercise Physiologist wanted me to get my heart rate between 130 and 145 beats per minute (BPM) and not be huffing & puffing.

Well, at 6 miles an hour, I was hitting 160 beats per minute & just starting to get winded.

Can I get a, "YES" from everyone?!?!?

My final goal was to be a heart rate of 165 BPM & I was at 160 already. I am so happy.

Now, there is still a long way to go. I need to be able to get myself up to 160 BPM for all 30 minutes and do it without the help of medicine that artificially keeps my heart rate down. BUT...today made me feel really, really good.

I ACTUALLY broke a pretty good sweat today. See for yourself...

When I check in, they take my BP, heart rate & weight.

See? I TOLD you I was running.

I'll talk more about how rehab works another day.

For today...YAY ME!!!

Thanks for sticking with me y'all.

Good night & God bless.

Last night was a very powerful night for me & writing the post took a lot out of me.

So, I am not sure what to write about tonight. In fact, I had most of a post written and deleted it. I started another one & stopped. As I try again to write and reflect, I will ask for some your patience and understanding if this post is a little disjointed.

After last night, I promised you all a more uplifting post tonight.

And yet...

And yet...I was at work today as if nothing happened. It was quite "usual".
And yet...I didn't have rehab today, so I can't give you any uplifting news there.
And yet...I have a little girl with pink eye  & a double ear infection.

How's THAT for uplifting? It is actually pretty...well...boring, isn't it?

But maybe that is the uplifting thing in and of itself. Today was boring. Today was usual.

Maybe...
Maybe...today is the day I start to put the heart attack behind me & start living in the present.
Maybe...today is the day I begin to take the word "new" out of the phrase, "My new lifestyle."
Maybe...today I can help someone else with their situation, ignoring my own.

If that is the case, I am doing pretty well thank-you.

I am certainly not saying I am "all better", or that I have been perfect in my eating, and I probably still don't get enough sleep. So, I am not a "new man." But, I made better food decisions, I will get to bed right after I finish this post and I was thinking about someone ELSE's problem today instead of my own. And none of it feels strange, it all feels normal.

Maybe I am truly starting to recover mentally.
And yet, I know I have to keep working and keep trying and keep improving.

Now, if you have it in you, please offer prayers again for the family of the boy who just passed away. I'm doing pretty good right now & would  love to know our prayers were going to someone who certainly needs them more than I do tonight.

That is it for tonight. I hope it wasn't too hard to read, and it was not too heavy.

Good night and God bless.

Tonight is a night for a reality check. It is a night where I talk about someone else's situation so that I can realize JUST how lucky I am and maybe you all can do the same.

More importantly however, tonight is a night where I ask you to pray for another person, a person who is not me; in this case a whole family.

I just found out that a family with whom we are acquainted has lost a son, a 10 year old son. I don't know any of the details yet. All I know is this just happened & that it was absolutely not expected.

Did I mention this post was going to be a reality check? If you haven't yet, hug someone...now.

The boy was a Cub Scout with my oldest son. They were a month away form graduating to Boy Scouts. Last week, they were running and laughing and doing everything ELSE 10 year old boys should do during their Den Meeting.

A boy who my oldest son knows, and just saw a week ago, will not be there next time our group meets. He isn't going to be there to receive the badges he's earned this month, or to bridge over to Boy Scouts.

What will the parents do? Or the siblings? How do they reconcile this?

Wait....WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?!? Did I just type all that?
This can't be real, life doesn't "just end."

Does it? I mean, I was dead for 2 minutes and here I sit typing a letter to anyone who wants to read it.
Life gets challenged and fights back, right? Bad things happen and then they are fixed or forgotten, RIGHT?

No, bad things happen. People pass, wars start, houses burn. But why? That age old question without an answer.

Here's another question. Would you ask God to stop all of those things? If you could, would you ask God to make us all rich? smart? handsome?

I've talked to friends about the ONE thing I would ask God to change about this world. Sickness? No, too simple. Immortality for loved ones? Nope, that can be a curse as well as a blessing. Riches? No way, too fleeting.

But, children...children should ALWAYS outlive their parents and THAT is what I would ask for.

Why am I sort of aimlessly rambling on about this horrible, horrible news in a blog about recovery?

Well, it gets RIGHT to the crux of this blog.
This goes right to 2 of the lessons I've learned.

1. I AM A VERY LUCKY MAN! I have a great family, and my family does not have to make the decisions, or suffer the realities that come with tragedy like the one I'm relating to you. Bad things DO happen. Things that can never be changed, or explained. For some reason, I avoided putting my family into such a situation. Someday soon, I hope to know WHY & what I am to do with this extra time on Earth.
   
2. No matter how bad your situation, if you look, you can probably find someone who needs help and support even more than you do. My family had a scare. I have to change my lifestyle. I have plenty of bills, a car with a crunched bumper, a house that leaks and squeaks, a baby with a fever (yep 101), and a myriad of other things that make me hold my head in my hands...
   
   ....and in comparison to a SINGLE event that another family must now endure,  this is all absolutely nothing. A man who was asking how I was a week ago now needs more support than I EVER would. God give me the strength and insight to help him through this in any way I can.

There is a family tonight who is enduring sadness that I have only imagined in my worst nightmares. They need support, they need love, they need...

So, I ask you all tonight to say a prayer, think good thoughts, hug a friend or family member. Do whatever you think will send good vibes to this family and help them survive and deal with what I consider the tragedy of all tragedies.

I am sure tomorrow will be a much more uplifting post, assuming I don't write about the nightmares I had tonight.

Good night & (no matter what) God bless

I am sorry I missed you all yesterday. It was a loooooooong day and a really good day.
Friends, great friends came over for dinner with their kids and then took me to the Wake Forest vs. NC State basketball game.

That is actually why I missed yesterday. By the time we got the house in order, it was time for our visitors & as soon as dinner was over, it was off to the game.

The game play was "okay." But it was one of the best games I ever gone to. Two friends & I got to sit in awesome seats and watch a basketball game. Not only that, I got to see 2 kids play last night that I have known since they were high school sophomores.

So, what did my friends give me for my birthday? A game ticket? A night out with the guys?
NAH....they gave me memories; memories that I almost missed out on. Memories that I hope to look back on when I take my grandkids to a college basketball game.

Last night was a great start to my birthday celebration.

Yep...you heard me (well, okay, you didn't actually HEAR anything).

Today is my birthday. Today, I turned 47 years old.

Today, no one had to remember me, or imagine what I would have done on my birthday.

TODAY I  woke up, took a breath and lived.
And today I can tell you what I did for my birthday.

Boy, now that old joke has new meaning. You know the one.....

It's your BIRTHDAY?!? How old are you?!? Well, it is better than the alternative!

Yes, yes it is better than the alternative, in so many ways, and for so many people.'

So, what DID I do today? I went to work for more than 1/2 a day. A small step forward.
Then I came home and had a great dinner made by my lovely wife & a DELICIOUS cake from Tart's Sweets in Winston-Salem.

No big party, no big announcements, just Ashley, the kids & me; together.....for another day.

I also spent a good bit of time reading the well wishes and happy birthday messages on Facebook. I got nearly 100 of 'em.

MAN...THAT is humbling. I didn't think I KNEW 100 people. The comments ranged from, "Happy bday," to long messages that reminded me how lucky I am. No matter the length, or the message, each of the posts was special to me & I thank you all.

Today I turned 47 years old, and today I turned 7 weeks old. Today, I got to hold my kids and kiss my wife.

Today I was blessed.

Good night and God bless.

Tomorrow, my heart attack will be 7 weeks and 20 lbs. ago.


IT has been a long day. Not bad, just long.

The kids & I left the house to go see mommy who was working an indoor track meet today & never made it back home till about 9 pm.

So...this will be a visual post today...

...and that is how I feel now.

Two days from #47, I am feeling every bit of my first 46 years.

Things are good; it is just late, cold, and raining. So, it is time for bed.

Good night & Go bless.

I have officially been back at work for a week. It wasn't the most productive week for sure, but it WAS a week. I went to the office about 4 hours a day. 

The team at RJ Reynolds has been great. They have been very understanding of my situation and they have been concerned for my well being. A special thanks to them for allowing me to work my way back into it at my speed.

Now, I am sure I will be under pressure to complete my work soon enough, but for now...things are going smoothly.

On the rehabilitation side, things are going well. Each day I have been going a little faster than the time before or I have been hitting my highest speed earlier in the workout. I have finally gotten to a point where my heart rate is in the range they want me to be in.

Today, in fact, I was up over 150 beats per minute (I KNOW, pretty fast, huh?!?!?). They are wanting me to consistently reach that range and, eventually, I am to reach 165 beats per minute or so.

Something else happened today. Ashley & I had the first real discussion that went something like this:

Me - "I'm going in a few minutes early today so I can get something done before rehab."

Her - "You are going into the office again?"

Me - "Yeah."

Her - "You have rehab, and you have the kids by yourself tonight."

Me - "Yeah, I know."

(Here comes the important part.)

Her - "That's too much."

Me - "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Her - "That's too much."

Me - "I feel good today."

Her - "Because you haven't been doing TOO much."

Me - "I mean, I feel like this is not too  much."

Her - "That's too much."

SO, are you getting the idea? Apparently, I tried to do too much today. Now, whether or not it WAS too much is not the point...(yes, like you all, I can hear Ashley, "That WAS too much.")

The point is that we had the discussion. At every point in a recovery like this there is a least 1 of 2 discussions. Either the survivor wants to do TOO much, or the supporter needs the survivor to take on more. You know either, "You are not ready for all that yet, slow down." or "It is time to get off your lazy..."

In our case, I tried to bite off more than maybe I should have. Ashley certainly thought I did. 

Today was the first time Ashley needed to just come out & tell me I was pushing too hard.

Another step in the recovery has passed; we had "the talk" today. I was wondering when we would have this discussion. I have known a number of folks who have had to recover from a trauma and this kind of discussion always always happens at some point.

I think I did better than most. I mean it took a whole 6 weeks before Ashley had to call me out. Who would have thought I could hold out that long before I tried to push it? If someone had a pool, I'd have bet on 3 weeks, tops.

Anyway, we had the talk, it is behind us, and we can continue with my recovery.

Good night & ...... WHAT? Oh, yeah. Sorry.... 

So, how DID today go? WAS it too much?

As it turns out, I feel pretty good. I am glad I did what I did. 

And in the final analysis....

.....remember, Ashley is my wife and I am a smart man, so here it comes.....

"That was too much." 

;)

Good night & God bless.

Resistance training? Really? Weight lifting??

Yes, in FACT my rehab therapist & I did discuss the idea of adding resistance training to my rehabilitation and recovery program. YES!!!!!!

Why am I so excited? I mean, come ON, no one likes to lift weights. Why would I suddenly WANT to do such a thing?

Well, I am excited because I was not expecting to see any weights until at least 1/2 way through the program, if at all. That means I am getting better.

That also means that I can really begin to rebuild my "girlish figure." The cardio exercise is fine, and I HAVE lost a little weight; a bit of weight?; some weight?...okay, I have lost nearly 20 pounds. But, I still feel "soft" and I am still not into pants with a 30 inch waist yet. Some weights will allow me to become more "solid" and reach a goal I have had for some time; fitting into size 30 pants.

While this situation as a whole STINKS (I'd like to use a stronger word, but this IS a family show) I have always thought that there would be some silver linings. And my weight loss is one of the silver linings that I have been trying to wrap securely around this dark cloud that is my heart attack.

I am well on my way to being to a weight I have not seen in years and wearing pants that I thought were lost forever. This situation (that STINKS) has been that proverbial wake-up call, and is forcing me to take better care of myself. I am eating MUCH better, I am exercising at least 3 times a week, and I am drinking a little more water. All W's in my win/loss column.

While I may never be as healthy as I could have been if this didn't happen, I am going to be more healthy than I would have been if I had continued down the path I was walking.

SO...yep...feeling pretty good today.

Lesson learned:
When life gives you lemons...

...skip the lemonade and use the lemons to flavor a nice baked chicken dinner. Your waistline will thank you. Leave the lemonade to the kids with the curbside stand.

Good night & God bless.

Tonight will likely be short. I have been back at work 2 days and, believe it or not, it has been a little tiring. Today is also going to be a bit of a story about how small this world really is, and how special my wife is.

Ashley first. She has told me stories about how her dad has actually saved lives. I have always believed her choice to go into medicine may have been influenced by this fact. See, she has always been a little in awe of these stories. She has always had that, "I can't imagine doing that" attitude. She still has that attitude even though a father of one of her football players tells people he believes she saved his boy's life. She says it is overwhelming to hear him say that. She downplays what she did for the football player.

Now, he was probably not in mortal danger, but she DID prevent him from further injury, and possibly saved his ability to play. She saved his WAY of life at least. Even if she won't admit it.

Well, now I can tell you that, without a doubt, SHE has saved a life. In fact, SHE has saved two lives.
Yes, I give her credit for saving my life. Ashley didn't wait. Ashley made the call. Ashley kept me calm and gives me reasons to live every day.

Ashley has saved another life in a more direct manner. Ashley was working a basketball game and was part of the team that saved a man in the stands watching the game.

Wanna know what happened to the man? Ahhhh....you already guessed didn't you?

Ashley has now saved two men suffering from heart attacks, and this is where we get into the "small world" part of tonight's post.

Ready?

So, you know we both had heart attacks, and we both were saved by my wonderful wife. But is certainly doesn't stop there. I mean, really, would I do a whole post about this if that was all of it???

No, turns out we both had heart attacks; the SAME heart attacks. This man & I both were lucky enough to dodge the "widow-maker's" bullet; both heart attacks were caused by blockages in the left anterior descending artery.

To continue, Ashley was not the only person to help save our lives. Apparently, the same doctor performed the surgery on the two of us.

Pretty cool huh? Well, here is one more for you...

The man and I recuperated in the same hospital room; room 714.

How's that for a small world?

This man & I had the same problem, the same room, the same doctor work on us and, of course, Ashley was there to save us both.

It is a small world indeed. Coincidences forever will join 2 men that really had no reason to know anything about each other. The most important coincidence being that we both survived. It is a small world indeed.

Oookay, maybe the post wasn't all that short. I AM that tired though.

Before I go, I want to ask you to once again send some of your prayers to another person. A high school friend of mine was not as lucky as my family was on November 22. This young lady lost her mother just the other day. This woman was always happy, always someone who welcomed us into her home, and will be sorely missed by her family & friends. Please pray that her family find solace in her memory and relief in knowing that she is not suffering. Thanks.

Good night and God bless.

Yesterday I hit on an important point.

The heart is a muscle. Like any muscle it can be injured. Like any muscle it can be strengthened, and it can recover. Unlike most muscles, it is NOT something with which you can "work through the pain." This is the thing that scares me the most about this whole thing from here on out. Maybe "scares" is the wrong word....."concerns" is better.

Other than my anxiety attack, I have not really been "scared" since before I got into the ambulance. I mean really folks, I was unconscious for all of the REALLY scary parts, wasn't I? I was out for the heart failure and I was asleep for the surgery.

But, I do get concerned that I will push too hard, or try to do too much now. Before this, whenever I have been in physical therapy, or when I have been taking fitness tests, I have always, ALWAYS, tried to outdo what the exercise physiologists asked. You want 10 reps? I can do 12. You want me to touch my ankles? I can touch my toes. You want my knee to bend 90 degrees? I can go further.

Problem for me is that THIS situation does not allow for that. This situation is one where you need to not push. If you push too hard, the consequences can be bad. You don't just set yourself up for a setback, you set yourself up for...well, let's not mention that possibility.

I mention this because I must admit that I am not looking forward to the end of the rehabilitation program. I know it is a way off, but it already concerns me a little.

While you might think I find rehab to be boring, or a nuisance. Quite the contrary, I feel safe at rehab. There is a professional there watching me & pushing me. I am wearing a monitor that shows how hard I am working and giving me proof that I can push harder. Finishing rehab will be a little...yep, you guessed it..."scary." No more monitor, no more professional.

It was the same when I left the hospital. I was kind of afraid to leave. When I was at the hospital I was safe. I was on a monitor. I was a call away from people who could save my life if need be. Then all of a sudden they say, "Go home and take care of yourself." Wait, don't you guys know I will push to hard? I will try too much?

Oh, wait...Ashley is here...I'm good...I have my own personal warden to keep me in line. WHEW!

The heart is a funny thing. You need to treat it like a muscle, but it isn't the same. Other muscles will either work or they won't. Your bicep will either bend your arm, or it won't.  It will either be able to lift a weight, or it won't. If a muscle is TOO badly damaged, you can support it or you can immobilize it. The HEART will beat. It will beat if it is healthy, it will beat if it is sick. You CAN'T support it really, you CAN'T immobilize it (yeah, an immobile heart would be BAD huh?). You don't realize you have overdone it until it is too late.

I don't know about you, but that scares me to....

...let's just say it scares the CRAP out of me.

Wish me luck.

Good night & God bless.

Went back to work today. I didn't do anything special, just about 5 hours of reading and getting caught back up to speed. Productivity not withstanding, it was a good day.

The folks on the team were all glad to see me & glad I am "okay." I told the story of what happened a few times...an elevator version of course. I talked about how I felt & I was asked a few times if I had any signs that there was an issue.

It was great to know people missed me & were concerned for me. It is always nice to know you are appreciated. But, what was really nice was that no one made TOO big a deal about things; about the event, about my situation, about being careful around me. I got a warm welcome back and started to get back to work. It was normal, it was good.

See, I am not one who likes to have a big deal made about "me." I don't do well with being the center of attention. I like flying under the radar. I like a quiet compliment. I like making others feel special. ME? I'm just plain, nothing special. So I really appreciated getting a chance to just kind of blend back into the team today.

So how do I feel now, at the end of the day?

I will admit I am a little tired, but since I didn't exactly push myself, I feel pretty good overall. I was even able to take the kids to Cub Scouts without any trouble.

So, I figure that I will work my way back in step by step this week. Go to the office a few hours, come home for a little rest....very little; 3 kids remember?...

If I feel up to it, I'll do some more work from home. Next week, we'll see about full days at the office.

I am taking everyone's advice, working my way back in slowly and not taking things TOO seriously. That is not me....I wanted to just jump back in & show that I could do it. I WANTED to prove this heart attack didn't get ME! Then I remembered a promise I made my wife and kids. I promised that I would take care of myself & that I would live for a good bit longer.

Well, stress is not my friend right now. I need to keep that bad boy under control. I need to be able to do my work without getting too concerned about it. If I can do that I will keep my promise to the most important people in my life.

The first step was admitting that I needed to slow down and get back to work in stages. I did that. Now, I guess we'll just have to wait and see how well I do with the rest of the steps.

....I'll try not to get to stressed out about it though.......

Lesson Learned:
Sometimes it isn't that you need help form others. Sometimes you need to help yourself by recognizing your limitations and living within them. At some point, we all have to take a break, rest, recharge. Help yourselves be willing to slow down if you need to.

Good night & God bless.

Church took on a special meaning today.

During the mass, the priest began his prayers for everyone. Nothing he hasn't done a thousand times before; nothing I haven't HEARD a thousand times. This time was different. When our priest ask God to bless those that were recovering from illness, Ashley put her hand on my shoulder & it hit me...

...no ASHLEY didn't hit me...IT hit me....I was one of the people the priest was praying for.

I've always been the one praying for someone else. I mean, when we are at mass, we don't ask God to pray for short, brown eyed Irishmen. I have never been the one that the whole church was saying a prayer for. I wondered, did anyone else in the building KNOW they were praying for me when they prayed for those in recovery? Regardless, I knew.

As of today, I knew that for the next few weeks at least, I was part of the group of people that every Catholic church in the country was going to say a prayer for. That part of mass will take on new meaning for me each week from now on.


I wanted to take some time today to talk about some people that have been impacted by my situation. People I have not mentioned yet.

I have 2 sisters and my mom & dad are both still alive. They are all very special to me and I feel the need to apologize to them for adding some heartache to their lives. Don't get me wrong. No one MADE me feel this way. My family has been nothing but concerned for my well being.

I just want to let them know that I am sorry for letting this whole thing happen.

My sisters & I have always been close (well, once they stopped PICKING ON ME, anyway). We can talk about anything & we use each other for help and support all of the time. I think that is what I am apologizing to them for...this time I was the reason they would need support. Not only that, but I was now NOT one of the people they could look to FOR that support.

Terrie, Linda...your little brother is gonna be okay & I am sorry that you had to worry; especially during the holidays which I know are important to both of you.

To my mom & dad, I must really say I am sorry. My parents have had a tough year. Without detailing the issues, suffice to say that 2015 will not be a year that they remember fondly. At a time when they needed a SON, I provided them with another worry. What's worse for my dad is that he couldn't help.

Yeah, see...the thing is I am just like my dad. He is a helper, a fixer. If someone has a problem, my dad wants to help. This time he was powerless. He was 600 miles away and could do nothing about the situation.

Mom, Dad...I don't know if you will ever read this, but know that I am so sorry that you had to suffer through the last few weeks and that you didn't get to see the kids for Christmas.  As soon as we can get there, we'll make it happen.


Tomorrow you all get to hear how my first day back to work went.
Keep your fingers crossed & we'll see you then.

Good night & God bless.

Ya know what?

Writing daily is HARD! It is even harder when you are a math guy and English class was something to be survived rather than enjoyed.

Okay...whining for the night is done. On to the blog.

Tonight will be the first posting where I don't have a look back since we are all caught up. From this point on, this blog will be about the present, about today. I'll try to keep it interesting, informative and at times (if I can) humorous.

As the days go on, my story will begin to get a bit mundane. You will only want to read, "today was a pretty average day," so many times. Quite frankly, I will only want to WRITE it so many times. So, periodically I will break away from me & present information about heart health, or about EMTs, or some other related topic.

Today is actually a little bit of a day like that. Today will not be so much about me, but about others.

While this blog is to be a thank you to everyone, I never intended to list all of the people who have been so wonderful to me. I made that decision for two very simple reasons.

1. If I forgot anyone, it would be a great injustice. One I am not prepared to cause.
2. I don't want to make anyone feel their help, prayers, or visits were any more or less important than anyone else's. IF I tried to talk about every person, my posts would be 2 hours long and somewhere along the line, I would not do justice to how special any particular individual act was. Again, not something I want to do.

However, I want to make two particular "shout-outs" today and tomorrow.

Today, I want to recognize my in-laws and the role they played in my story.

Kris, my brother-in-law, was in Raleigh when everything happened & by mid afternoon Sunday, he had dropped everything & was at my bedside. He headed to our home & collected some items for Ashley to stay with me. His day suddenly became longer & more challenging. I just want him to know how much I appreciate the love and care he showed that day.

If you have been reading the blog from the beginning, you know that my in-laws took care of the kids for Ashley & I for a few days. What you DON'T know is that my mother & father-in-law jumped into their car in Chicago on a couple of hours notice & drove to NC without hesitation. In fact, they nearly drove the entire 13 hour trip on Sunday; straight through. Folks, I am here to tell you that the ride form Chicago to NC is not an easy one. the first 1/2 is hypnotizingly flat. The second 1/2 is through some of the toughest mountain roads in the East. Just when Paula & Kerry would have been the most tired, the drive got more challenging.

After a very tiring drive, these wonderful people took care of 3 children for nearly a week and got ready for Thanksgiving all while worrying about he welfare of their daughter.

I have said countless times that I am very lucky. Another reason I AM so lucky is that I actually LIKE my in-laws. Do we always agree? Probably not. Do we always get our relationship right? Probably not. We are family after all; we have good days and bad. But when it comes right down to it, I like knowing that I have the family I have; all of the family I have.

So, while I can't thank everyone personally, I needed to take this opportunity to thank my in-laws for putting their lives on hold for Ashley & I. And, I want to thank them for making me one of those few lucky husbands that likes his family "in-law".

I love you guys.

That's it for tonight. Stop back tomorrow for my other "shout out.".
Goodnight & God bless.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

I hope you all enjoyed the guest author last night. I was honored that Ashley wanted to be a part of this blog. Now you are back to being stuck with me.

As I lay in bed last night, surprised that I actually MADE it past midnight, I reflected on the day.

It was strange.

I almost wasn't here to "ring in the new year." I had ALL KINDS of reasons to do something big; go to a party, make all sorts of resolutions, make some big announcements. But, I was perfectly happy laying next to my angel; awake but barely aware of how close midnight was. Truthfully, I wasn't even doing a whole lot of, "What if's." It actually felt very anti-climactic. I was just laying in bed, watching TV just like it was any other night. By about 1:00 a.m., I was feeling like I did not give the night enough of an exclamation point. Yet, at the same time, I felt no NEED to do so.

It was strange.


Today was totally different. Today was NOT strange. Today was nice.

The kids ALL slept till 8:00 a.m. (and people called ME a miracle). We hung out, we did a whole lot of nothing, and our good friends the Steele family came over. It is always nice to see the Steele family. There is always good conversation, a few laughs and some fellowship.

We EVEN pulled out the good dishes (TWO miracles in ONE day?!?!?!?).

Then, just about dusk, my family went for a walk with me. It was just us, walking through the Clemmons West neighborhood. It was cool, not cold, it was getting dark enough to see everyone's Christmas lights. The boys were having fun, mommy was pushing the stroller the little girl was...well, she was "being two." It was perfect (even the "being two" part). I had as much fun on this walk as I have had at any big New Years bash.

Lesson Learned:
You never know where the perfect memories are gonna come from. New Years Eve, is supposed to be about big parties, champagne and resolutions. This year should have been particularly poignant and festive for me. Yet, something as simple as walking for 30 minutes is what will stick with me forever because it was JUST what I needed it to be.


That's today...what about the story?

Well gang, it seems like I am all caught up as far as the story goes. I think from this point on that we can just discuss today, the present.

We've seen everything from my initial signs of pain to my last trip to the ER. I talked about the heart monitor I wore home, and the results from that monitor. That is about where we started this journey together. 

Thank you to everyone who is joining me on this trip. Thank to everyone who has brought us dinner, sent me prayers and wishes, and taken a minute out of their day to "check in on me."

If you could all do me one favor to kick off the new year, I would appreciate it. Will each of you tell one person about this blog? Use Facebook, a text message, an email, or (heaven forbid) call a friend and talk to them about it.

Who knows, if we can get enough people reading this stuff, maybe we can find that one person who will really find some helpful words.

Finally tonight, I hope you will all come back tomorrow to see where we go from here.

Good night & God bless.