So...tonight isn't much better. Still feel like crap and so tired and "weak".
So...tonight won't be a particularly good post either.
What I will say is that being sick K right now is very different than it used to be. Ashley has been hyper-vigilant in taking care of me, but also hyper-vigilant in making sure I stay off my feet. She w as soon worried that something would happen to my heart because of this illness.
I guess that is my lot in life now. I will always be under the microscope now. I will always have to be concerned what "might happen."
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better post.
Good night and God bless.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Saturday, February 27, 2016
"But, you look healthy as a horse."
Thank you?
That quote can go both ways. On the surface, it is certainly a compliment. It means, "You look good."
Unfortunately, if you are a little short on self-confidence (who ME?), this statement can also mean something else. If you are a little self conscious, this can also mean, "How bad could it have been? You don't look so bad."
It was strange. Someone said that to me today. "Well, you LOOK healthy as a horse." I wasn't sure what to say. Do I say thanks, or do I explain why I am really NOT healthy as a horse and why I am being careful?
See, I am at the point where since I LOOK okay, I feel like I need to ACT okay. I feel the need to act like there is nothing wrong & "pull my weight." If I don't, I feel like folks will consider me a slacker. I mean, I look okay on the outside and so I have to match that on the inside....right?
As you might be able to tell from my writing here, I am having trouble making my point tonight. It's just that, since my injury is all inside my body, I am having trouble not getting back to normal.
For example....my sons had their Cub Scout meeting tonight. It was an important one, so we had a big party (Blue & Gold Dinner for those of you in scouts). Well, when it was all done & we began to clean up, I remembered the "healthy horse" comment. I felt the need to show everyone I was as okay as I looked....or maybe I was trying to show them that I would work as hard as someone who WAS as healthy as I looked...or maybe I was trying to keep myself from getting pity...or maybe I was worried folks were looking and I didn't want them seeing me be lazy. After all I am the Cubmaster, I need to help MORE than everyone else. And, since I, "Look healthy as a..." (you get the point).
It was all I could do not to hoist a table up myself, or carry a bunch of chairs.
As someone who is recovering from an internal issue, I feel self conscious about not having a visible signal that shows what I am going through. It is hard to trust that everyone else will accept that I have a problem if they can't actually SEE it.
At the same time....it IS nice to know that all of my hard work and my better eating habits are paying off. I have always said I wanted to eventually be at a point where people didn't know I had suffered a heart attack. It is nice to fit into pants that I have not been able to wear in years, and to not look sickly.
So, looking "healthy as a horse" is working for and against me. I am so glad that I am reaching a goal and not looking like a "survivor". But, at the same time, I am fearful that I am beginning to look like a lazy bum.
I guess I need to get a little confidence and gain a little more trust of the people around me; I need to trust they all will accept a health issue they can not see.
I am confident that I'll get right on that (and trust that you believe me).
Good night and God bless.
Thank you?
That quote can go both ways. On the surface, it is certainly a compliment. It means, "You look good."
Unfortunately, if you are a little short on self-confidence (who ME?), this statement can also mean something else. If you are a little self conscious, this can also mean, "How bad could it have been? You don't look so bad."
It was strange. Someone said that to me today. "Well, you LOOK healthy as a horse." I wasn't sure what to say. Do I say thanks, or do I explain why I am really NOT healthy as a horse and why I am being careful?
See, I am at the point where since I LOOK okay, I feel like I need to ACT okay. I feel the need to act like there is nothing wrong & "pull my weight." If I don't, I feel like folks will consider me a slacker. I mean, I look okay on the outside and so I have to match that on the inside....right?
As you might be able to tell from my writing here, I am having trouble making my point tonight. It's just that, since my injury is all inside my body, I am having trouble not getting back to normal.
For example....my sons had their Cub Scout meeting tonight. It was an important one, so we had a big party (Blue & Gold Dinner for those of you in scouts). Well, when it was all done & we began to clean up, I remembered the "healthy horse" comment. I felt the need to show everyone I was as okay as I looked....or maybe I was trying to show them that I would work as hard as someone who WAS as healthy as I looked...or maybe I was trying to keep myself from getting pity...or maybe I was worried folks were looking and I didn't want them seeing me be lazy. After all I am the Cubmaster, I need to help MORE than everyone else. And, since I, "Look healthy as a..." (you get the point).
It was all I could do not to hoist a table up myself, or carry a bunch of chairs.
As someone who is recovering from an internal issue, I feel self conscious about not having a visible signal that shows what I am going through. It is hard to trust that everyone else will accept that I have a problem if they can't actually SEE it.
At the same time....it IS nice to know that all of my hard work and my better eating habits are paying off. I have always said I wanted to eventually be at a point where people didn't know I had suffered a heart attack. It is nice to fit into pants that I have not been able to wear in years, and to not look sickly.
So, looking "healthy as a horse" is working for and against me. I am so glad that I am reaching a goal and not looking like a "survivor". But, at the same time, I am fearful that I am beginning to look like a lazy bum.
I guess I need to get a little confidence and gain a little more trust of the people around me; I need to trust they all will accept a health issue they can not see.
I am confident that I'll get right on that (and trust that you believe me).
Good night and God bless.
Friday, February 26, 2016
Look....a SELFIE!!!!!!!
So...how's it LOOK?
Well, according to the folks at Cardiac Rehabilitation Services, it looks pretty darn good; at least that is what they tell me anyway.
This is a picture me during one of my rehab workouts
Okay, okay.....it is a picture of my EKG monitor at rehab. This is what the folks look at while I am working out.
There are 20 or so of these lit up at once; one for each person in "class" that day. The staff check them all periodically & let you know how you are doing. They tell you if it looks normal, they tell you what the heart rate is and they ask how you are feeling. "How does it feel; easy, moderate, or hard?"
At this point, I am probably 10 minutes into my workout & I am pushing a 143 beats per minute heart rate. Before the workout was over I was into the 150's. Since you can see 9 peaks here, you are looking at a snapshot of about 4 seconds of my workout.
This is also showing what is called a sinus rhythm.
(Oh, CRAP....he's gonna try to teach us something)
Sinus rhythm is the normal heart rhythm created by the body's pace maker, the sinoatrial node. Basically it is part of the upper chamber of the right side of the heart. That is the part of the heart where a normal heartbeat starts.
(Whew...that wasn't TOO bad)
I wish I had a picture to show you of what my heart looked like when I was having the heart attack, that way, you could see the difference. However, we were all a little busy saving my LIFE when that particular EKG was taking place. Since I don't plan on producing that kind of EKG reading for ANOTHER 47 years, y'all are just gonna have to wait for that one.
Suffice to say, the big hump and little humps all look good for the most part.
However, I have been told that you can still see the evidence of my heart attack in the smaller humps. Apparently that may never go away.
I also wish I had a GIF of one of the Echo-cardiograms they took. It was really cool to lay there & watch my heart beat happen. An Echo-cardiogram is basically an ultrasound of the heart; just like the ones they use to tell you what gender your baby will be. It is REALLY cool. Maybe I will write about that tomorrow. Who knows.
For now, the lesson is over children. Hope you enjoyed our little physiology class.
Good night & God bless.
So...how's it LOOK?
Well, according to the folks at Cardiac Rehabilitation Services, it looks pretty darn good; at least that is what they tell me anyway.
This is a picture me during one of my rehab workouts
Okay, okay.....it is a picture of my EKG monitor at rehab. This is what the folks look at while I am working out.
There are 20 or so of these lit up at once; one for each person in "class" that day. The staff check them all periodically & let you know how you are doing. They tell you if it looks normal, they tell you what the heart rate is and they ask how you are feeling. "How does it feel; easy, moderate, or hard?"
At this point, I am probably 10 minutes into my workout & I am pushing a 143 beats per minute heart rate. Before the workout was over I was into the 150's. Since you can see 9 peaks here, you are looking at a snapshot of about 4 seconds of my workout.
This is also showing what is called a sinus rhythm.
(Oh, CRAP....he's gonna try to teach us something)
Sinus rhythm is the normal heart rhythm created by the body's pace maker, the sinoatrial node. Basically it is part of the upper chamber of the right side of the heart. That is the part of the heart where a normal heartbeat starts.
(Whew...that wasn't TOO bad)
I wish I had a picture to show you of what my heart looked like when I was having the heart attack, that way, you could see the difference. However, we were all a little busy saving my LIFE when that particular EKG was taking place. Since I don't plan on producing that kind of EKG reading for ANOTHER 47 years, y'all are just gonna have to wait for that one.
Suffice to say, the big hump and little humps all look good for the most part.
However, I have been told that you can still see the evidence of my heart attack in the smaller humps. Apparently that may never go away.
I also wish I had a GIF of one of the Echo-cardiograms they took. It was really cool to lay there & watch my heart beat happen. An Echo-cardiogram is basically an ultrasound of the heart; just like the ones they use to tell you what gender your baby will be. It is REALLY cool. Maybe I will write about that tomorrow. Who knows.
For now, the lesson is over children. Hope you enjoyed our little physiology class.
Good night & God bless.
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Today is a milestone for TheThankyouYear....today is the 60th post for this blog.
Thanks to everyone who has been reading along with me and watching me recover.
As a recap:
Appreciation, education, and donation; the goals of this blog, the reasons I am writing to you each day and three of the things I believe God expected of me when he decided to let me stay around a little while longer.
Thanks for the support. Talk to you tomorrow.
Good night & God bless.
Thanks to everyone who has been reading along with me and watching me recover.
As a recap:
- I had a heart attack on Nov 22, 2015.
- After four days in the hospital, I got to go home on Thanksgiving day. I went back 2 times for little scares, but was cleared both times.
- My wife, children and wonderful friends have taken care of me since day 1 giving me the ability to recover quickly.
- I started Physical therapy/Rehab at the end of Deember, and have been reaching every goal set for me. In fact, I began lower body resistance training today. that rounds out the program with cardio for 30 minutes on a treadmill, upper body and lower body weight training. I am now pushing my heart rate to between 150 and 160 beats per minute every session.
- I went back to work on January 4. My client has been unbelieveably supportive during my recovery.
It has been very helpful to post these entries each day. I can just dump my days feelings and reflections into the computer. What I have noticed over the last 2 months, is that each time I sit to write, I am forced to remember how lucky I was.....how lucky I AM to be in the position I am in. I don't just mean surviving the heart attack, I mean my place in life in the larger sense.
I have a beautiful wife, inside and out. I have 3 children that bring such warmth and fullness to my heart it is unbelievable, and I have family and friends that have gone well beyond what I deserve in the support department.
To top it all off, I have had 2 people tell me directly that, because of me, they are taking better care of themselves. SO...it is working, this blog is starting to do what I wanted it to do when I decided to write it....it is helping me recover and, much more importantly, it is helping others to live more healthy and hopefully fuller lives.
Tomorrow is a new day, and thanks to a miracle, a knowing wife, and EMTs that really know their stuff, I will be around to see it. Let's see what I can do to make it a better day for someone around me and earn the right to call myself a "heart attack survivor".
I am working with someone to begin the final goal of this blog; to raise money for the Forsyth County EMTs. In the coming weeks he & I will set up a "text to donate" phone number and a FundMe web site. Look for the information soon.
I have a beautiful wife, inside and out. I have 3 children that bring such warmth and fullness to my heart it is unbelievable, and I have family and friends that have gone well beyond what I deserve in the support department.
To top it all off, I have had 2 people tell me directly that, because of me, they are taking better care of themselves. SO...it is working, this blog is starting to do what I wanted it to do when I decided to write it....it is helping me recover and, much more importantly, it is helping others to live more healthy and hopefully fuller lives.
Tomorrow is a new day, and thanks to a miracle, a knowing wife, and EMTs that really know their stuff, I will be around to see it. Let's see what I can do to make it a better day for someone around me and earn the right to call myself a "heart attack survivor".
I am working with someone to begin the final goal of this blog; to raise money for the Forsyth County EMTs. In the coming weeks he & I will set up a "text to donate" phone number and a FundMe web site. Look for the information soon.
Appreciation, education, and donation; the goals of this blog, the reasons I am writing to you each day and three of the things I believe God expected of me when he decided to let me stay around a little while longer.
Thanks for the support. Talk to you tomorrow.
Good night & God bless.
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
I just had a heart attack...so?
My heart stopped...and?
I had 2 minutes of CPR...big deal!
That is kind of how I see my conversation with "Miss D." going.
Is she a heartless wench?
(Thank you Ferris Beuler)
Nope....SHE is dealing with:
- Suffering from the flu
- Sending her husband to the hospital with the flu
- Waiting for her power to come back on
- Helping a friend whose house burned down
...and all of this in the last 36 hours.
Oh, and she runs a business and her husband suffers from a chronic disorder on TOP of the flu.
Yet, this lady is the Zenith that calms so many others. She is strong and brings people to their centers, just by her nature.
I wonder if she'll make it to the YMCA to coach the TWO soccer teams she has.
Miss D. reminded me that it can always be worse, that I better not feel sorry for myself, and that I need to hit PT even harder rtomorrow. No one is going to make me more healthy, no one is going to carry me through life, and no one but me is going to make sure I use my second chance to make to make the world better for those around me.
Thanks Miss D. I appreciate the support, the inspiration and the kick in the pants. Know that the Donahue family stands ready to help you in what ever way we can.
Before I sign off, I want to do one more shout-out to my sister who decided it would be a good idea to start taking her cholesterol medicine again....
Keep it up sis! Take care of yourself 'cause I ain't ready to be watching anyone else grab their chest any time soon.
Good night and God bless.
PS - I wrote this from my phone, so forgive me if there are typos.
My heart stopped...and?
I had 2 minutes of CPR...big deal!
That is kind of how I see my conversation with "Miss D." going.
Is she a heartless wench?
(Thank you Ferris Beuler)
Nope....SHE is dealing with:
- Suffering from the flu
- Sending her husband to the hospital with the flu
- Waiting for her power to come back on
- Helping a friend whose house burned down
...and all of this in the last 36 hours.
Oh, and she runs a business and her husband suffers from a chronic disorder on TOP of the flu.
Yet, this lady is the Zenith that calms so many others. She is strong and brings people to their centers, just by her nature.
I wonder if she'll make it to the YMCA to coach the TWO soccer teams she has.
Miss D. reminded me that it can always be worse, that I better not feel sorry for myself, and that I need to hit PT even harder rtomorrow. No one is going to make me more healthy, no one is going to carry me through life, and no one but me is going to make sure I use my second chance to make to make the world better for those around me.
Thanks Miss D. I appreciate the support, the inspiration and the kick in the pants. Know that the Donahue family stands ready to help you in what ever way we can.
Before I sign off, I want to do one more shout-out to my sister who decided it would be a good idea to start taking her cholesterol medicine again....
Keep it up sis! Take care of yourself 'cause I ain't ready to be watching anyone else grab their chest any time soon.
Good night and God bless.
PS - I wrote this from my phone, so forgive me if there are typos.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Well, it finally happened...
...after 3 months, someone finally caught me in the hallway & said, "Because of you, I..."
To set the stage...
I am in the hallway at my children's school just after a community sing. Parents hang out after the singing to shoot the breeze, complain about work, brag about their kids; that sort of thing. I was saying my final good-byes after my fair share of bragging. Suddenly, there is a tug on my arm & I turn to see the grandmother of one of the children.
This is a woman we know, not a stranger. In fact, Ashley has worked with her.
As we exchange pleasantries (AND I begin to brag on my kids again), we get into a talk about how much weight I've lost & my rehab, and then she just looks me cold in the eyes, smiles and says...
"Because of you, I called my doctor, got a check up and made sure I am okay."
Yep, it finally happened....
I have finally gotten proof positive that God wanted me here to help other people escape the same near miss that I have had to suffer through. This was the first, but hopefully not the only time.
I needed this now. The last few days have been okay, but I have been feeling like I was starting to "get back to normal". Not normal like I am getting past my heart attack, and settling into my NEW life. No, back to normal like I was acting before my heart attack. I was getting complacent, getting bored, and getting back into the rut I was in before-hand.
Getting this affirmation that I was here to do something special reminded me to get back to being a "heart attack survivor", making myself better, and helping others who might need some inspiration.
I only have a good chance of touching others if they read what I have been writing. I can only reach a lot of people though this thing called the internet. So, if you find value in this writing, and you think someone could benefit, please tell them about TheThankyouYear.blogspot.com.
Thanks for staying with me through all of this.
Good night & God bless.
...after 3 months, someone finally caught me in the hallway & said, "Because of you, I..."
To set the stage...
I am in the hallway at my children's school just after a community sing. Parents hang out after the singing to shoot the breeze, complain about work, brag about their kids; that sort of thing. I was saying my final good-byes after my fair share of bragging. Suddenly, there is a tug on my arm & I turn to see the grandmother of one of the children.
This is a woman we know, not a stranger. In fact, Ashley has worked with her.
As we exchange pleasantries (AND I begin to brag on my kids again), we get into a talk about how much weight I've lost & my rehab, and then she just looks me cold in the eyes, smiles and says...
"Because of you, I called my doctor, got a check up and made sure I am okay."
Yep, it finally happened....
I have finally gotten proof positive that God wanted me here to help other people escape the same near miss that I have had to suffer through. This was the first, but hopefully not the only time.
I needed this now. The last few days have been okay, but I have been feeling like I was starting to "get back to normal". Not normal like I am getting past my heart attack, and settling into my NEW life. No, back to normal like I was acting before my heart attack. I was getting complacent, getting bored, and getting back into the rut I was in before-hand.
Getting this affirmation that I was here to do something special reminded me to get back to being a "heart attack survivor", making myself better, and helping others who might need some inspiration.
I only have a good chance of touching others if they read what I have been writing. I can only reach a lot of people though this thing called the internet. So, if you find value in this writing, and you think someone could benefit, please tell them about TheThankyouYear.blogspot.com.
Thanks for staying with me through all of this.
Good night & God bless.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)