Early t9 bed and early to rise...
...means Craig has to travel tomorrow morning.

That also means Sunday was spent getting READY to 9 travel; confirm the hotel, pack, get a rental car (Atlanta is easier to drive to than fly to)....and kiss Ashley and the kids a thousand times.

I need to go, work pays the bills.

However,  part of my heart dies each time I have to leave.

Days like today make me forget about last November and make me think only about next Thursday when I get to come home.

At the same time, days like this bring November to the top of my mind when I ask myself if this is really how I want to spend the extra days God has given me.

How SHOULD I spend my days here on Earth? I don't want to be away from Ashley & the kids but I can't just sit in a room and hold them forever either. Life has to happen; good days and bad. But, given that how do we make the final score be in our favor?

When I figure it out, I'll post an answer (don't hold your breath).

If anyone has any suggestions,  post them or drop a comment. I'm sure we'd all like to know.

Did I mention, "early to bed?"

Good night and God bless.

After 3 birthday parties, 2 soccer games, and a wife who is out of town (yep...it fits to the song), I have been a LITTLE busy today, and I am tired. 

But...I promised a short story about tearing up yesterday, so here we go.

An older gentleman at rehab made me tear up. No, he didn't remind me of dad. He didn't make me sad. He gave me a tear and he humbled me.

I was using the elliptical machine. All he did was walk past and point at me....and he said, "You're an inspiration."

TO ME, he said that to ME. Wow. Me, I was inspiring him. Here is someone who has gone through mich more of life's journey than I have, someone who has dealt with trials I am sure I have yet to suffer, and he finds strength in watching me.

Now, don't get me wrong, being the youngest person in rehab, I can push harder than most. And many folks have made comment as to how hard I am working. One fellow keeps telling me.I will break the machine, almost daily. I am.sort of a novelty.

But this, this was different. The man yesterday actually looks up to me and finds inspiration. That blew me away.

I really did not know how to respond. I mean I said thank you, but that seemed inadequate. So, I have been thinking about how I could "respond."

I think I figured out how to say thanks; by showing what an inspiration HE now is to me.

See, with that tiny gesture, he just made me realize that eyes are on me in that facility and that I need to keep up my intensity....every session.

See, if someone, ANYONE is looking up to me, I have to be worth looking up to. 

As you know, the last little while has been hard and my intensity level has suffered a bit. Now I know that I can not let that happen. I have to keep pushing, and keep improving and actually BE the inspiration the man sees in me.

Today's lesson learned:

If you see someone as an inspiration, tell them. At the least you will make their day. If you are lucky, you will push them to be even better than they already are...

Good night and God bless.l

Sorry, guys. Fell asleep with my kids. And since it it is nearly 1 am, I am not much for writing right now.

But, if you want to hear how an old man made me tear up today, check in with me tomorrow.

Good night and God bless.

Craig asked me to guest write tonight...so I will try to do his blog justice. 


The transition to my new job has had some bumps to say the least.  Some days I have wondered if I was still having the kind of impact I had previously.  I was concerned with figuring out a new documentation system, working with new colleagues and making sure everything I did was "perfect".  With a new program in the works, I would settle for nothing less than perfection.  I, however, had to figure out how to get to perfection in 40 hours a week...add a little more stress to my already somewhat uncomfortable transition!  See, while most jobs (especially one like athletic training) don't care how many hours you work (when you are salaried), my contract stipulates that I will stay at 40 hours a week.  This means, during any given week, that I should not go over by any significant amount NOR should I be under by any significant amount-- easy, right?!?!?!?  Well, not so much...what about games that go into overtime or an injury that requires to you stay late to performed continued evaluation and talking to parents?  Those things are not in the "normal" work week! 
   In addition, my children are missing having me around.  While I certainly need to be employed, we had a lot more of the "prime family time" (3 to 7 or 8 in the evening) when I was not working in a full time position.  Then I started to wonder...have I done the right thing?  Should I have taken the job?  What about my pre-teen who is begging for time with me?  My amazing middle child who is not going to make waves, but who secretly misses me? Our sweet little girl who shows that she misses me by INSISTING on ending up in our bed (and directly on top of me) every night?  Then there is the fact that Craig is back on the road for work...it is a never ending cycle of who gets time with whom. 
    Anyway, I had and continue to have a lot of worries about this new position and what my impact will be and then...tonight happened.  Here is the story:
    While covering an away JV football game, this young man came up and began talking with me and says, "Momma, are you riding the bus home with us?" to which I answered, "No.  You know that I drive to games in case I need to be more flexible", etc.  He then asked if he could ride with me "because the bus is awful". To which I also had to answer in the negative.  BUT, we are missing the point-- he called me "Momma"-- ME!  The woman who is struggling to find her place in this new position!  You see, this young man is the son of a college classmate of mine and as soon as he discovered this a couple of weeks ago, I became special to him...he felt like he could relate to me because his mom and I had a connection.  He is a great young man who is sweet and kind, but he had no reason to connect with me-- he hasn't been injured and I did not know him before sometime after September 1.  Here is a child on whom I have had an impact!  YAY!  Here is the thing...in all of the ancillary crap, I had forgotten that this young man has put enough trust, faith and respect in me to call me "momma".  He has told others (it doesn't matter who it is) that I am his second mom...I don't know that I deserve the distinction, but I really appreciate it!  I don't feel like I have done anything particularly out of the ordinary for this boy, but he knows I care and that if he needed me, I would be right there to take care of him. 
   So, as I sit here reflecting on my evening, I cannot believe that I had so little faith as to think that I would not have an impact!  Here is the pearl of wisdom-  Don't lose sight of the amazing things by getting mired in the mundane.  Now, go out and be somebody's "momma"! 


Good night and God bless!

Today is not about me. It is about a friend who lost her mother just a few days ago.
Katrina, one of our bride's maids, the woman who was there when Ashley & I met, lost her mom the other day.


She could use some prayers. SO, if you were someone who was saying a prayer for me every once in a while, please use the next one for her.


I met Katrina's mom & I can tell you there were few people in this world with more life in them and more "spit and vinegar". Like most, I am sure we will remember her through rose colored glasses; the good is a little better than it really was and the bad will probably be minimized. But....even accounting for that, I can tell you that the world is a little less fun today without her mother around.


Katrina needs prayers as anyone would who lost a parent, but Katrina is special in her own right & she has one of the healthiest attitudes of anyone I have ever met who lost a parent.


I got to visit her the other day & when she looked at me and said, "Mom is in a better place" she wasn't just saying it....she BLIEVED it, she just KNEW it.


Katrina showed me true faith that day....if she never reads this blog, she may never know that, but she showed me what true, honest faith is. For that reason, if anyone needs a prayer, it is her.....she would know more than most that it would be heard.


Good night & God bless.

If you have been reading this, you are a glutton for punishment....no wait...


If you have been reading this, you know it has been a tough few months for me (AND you are a glutton for punishment).


I have seen a number of friends experience some serious loss. I have had doubts about how well I am doing on keeping my heart healthy. I have lost my father.


After I took some time off from this blog, I came back to it & I have been talking about my woes and my worries since.


Well, tonight I need to talk about something else; actually, someONE else...my friend, my partner, my wife.


Through all of this, she has of course had her own trials;  a new job, my increased travels, and her own heartache over losing my dad. Yet, through it all, she has been there as my crutch.


Sometimes that means holding me so I can cry. Sometimes it means telling me to grow up & STOP crying. Sometimes it just means letting me know that I was not alone...even in silence.


I may not always like what she has to say when she says it; "No, you can't have any of those."
I am not going to tell you that I realize now it was only for my own good.....that is a little to cliché even for ME.


I WILL tell you that if not for my wife, I would not be nearly as well off as I am now. I can't take care of myself...not like she can. Even now, I still call her to ask her if I can have certain things to eat. I still look to her to remind me that I need to work out even when I am not at rehab. I STILL tell her every time I "cheat" a little....just so I know my guardian angel has all of the facts. Well, okay, MAAAAYYYYBE it is more to control the guilt of cheating.


I don't call her my love any more....I just skip all of that and call her "My Heart".


I have not given her enough consideration before in this blog. So I hope that today's post gives you a small idea of how important she is to me; not just form an emotional standpoint of loving her so much, but form the standpoint of needing someone to keep me in line, someone to watch over me, and someone to help me make good decisions.


A friend, a lover, a COACH, and angel....in short....My Heart.
To Ashley, thanks. I do love you so much.


To the rest of you, good night & God bless.

The last little while has been interesting. Not good, or bad per se, just interesting.....in a sort of usual sort of way.


If you remember, I have had a goal of getting a 5K run completed in less than 30 minutes.
I am doing this in an effort to get ready to do a sprint triathlon next year.


So far I am doing okay. I figure I should finish in less than 2 hours.


Now, what make the last little while interesting is that I have hit a plateau. I seem to be stuck...


I was getting better and better & I was feeling pretty bullet proof. Suddenly, I have gotten to the point where workouts are challenging again & I have stopped getting any faster.


Normally, it would just be time to switch up the old workout. Get some new energy in the old brain & move along. Only this is not a normal workout or a normal situation.


See, now that I have become "a survivor" the fact that things have gotten hard is scary.
WHY did it get hard to work out again? WHAT is causing that? WHAT do I do? What DID I do?


Most folks would just figure they hit a peak, or needed a break, but when you are within a year of a heart attack, you tend to make everything revert back to that. So you start to think that maybe, JUST MAYBE you have gotten a new clog somewhere. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, you pushed too hard and your heart is paying you back for it.



Do I go to the Dr? Do I ignore it & "See what happens"?


Until something starts to hut, I think I am going to keep up the workouts, let the folks at rehab know I am worried & See what they say.


Good night & God bless.