Wow...three weeks, THREE WEEKS
It has been three weeks since I last wrote you all. It has been QUITE a three weeks.


Since then, I have gone from thinking my dad was gong to another chemo treatment, to having my father buried. I went from 142 lbs to 148 lbs and I went from thinking things were turning a corner and becoming positive to wondering if I was ever going to be feeling like things were going my way.


The passing of my father, Bill Donahue has been VERY hard. Dad & I were close. As his only boy, and the baby of the family, I was his "partner in crime". As such, I have been suffering many of the same problems that many others suffer when they feel lost. I have not been taking very good care of myself.


First, I have not been exercising like I was. I mean, I go....when I am here to go. It is just that when I go, the drive is not there.


I have been snacking and over eating. I have NOT been careful as to WHAT I eat...





...3 weeks???? Try 4 months and multiple false starts...




Yes folks, I started to write this post to you all on about June 21st, and needless to say it did not go well.


As you now know, since my last post, I have lost my father. I have to tell, you since that day it has not felt much like a time for thanks.





On Nov 22 last year I almost stopped hurting forever. Since June 4 THIS year, I have hurt a little every day. Not the way I was hoping this year would go.


Please don't get me wrong, I am glad to be alive. But life is not quite what it could be without my dad around. I was his partner in crime, and he was my dad....always.



That is a lot of why I have not written on this blog in so long; nothing to say, at least nothing but down-hearted and sad things. That is not what the thank-you year is supposed to be about. As you can see, even now, I am having trouble being up beat at all.


However, dad has been gone for exactly 4 months today, and it is time to get off my a$$ and get back to it. So, today, 10 months and 12 days since my heart attack, I am renewing my commitment to this blog.


I am reviving this blog in hopes that it helps someone other than me.



More importantly, I am publicly renewing my commitment to my family and to making sure that for them the outcome of Nov. 22 was not a waste.



See, since June 4, I have not been the best husband or father I could be.
I have never been father or husband of the year material, but this last little while the joy that is my family has been buried in my own self doubt and sadness. Things that have held me back before, are impacting my family more than ever recently.



This was never more evident than the other night when my selfish behavior may have ruined Ashley's night. She needed a night out with the girls and I acted needy and selfish to the point that it may have messed up her 1 chance to enjoy the evening.



I am sorry baby.



Whoops.... back into sadness mode. I don't want to go there, but Ashley deserves a public apology; as do our friends that she was out with.... for your privacy... you know you are.




So... today is my "feel sorry for myself post." There is no great message, no useful information, and no smiles.



Tomorrow, I will be back to posting consistently, concisely (maybe) and with a purpose other than to get every to sob for me.



To those of you who have read from day one, I am sorry for the hiatus and thank you for your love.
To those of you just joining me, please don't think this post represents this blog well. As much as I tried to avoid it, this post had to happen to kick-start me. Please go back and begin reading from post #1.



To everyone, please forget this post as quickly as you can.....I know I will.





What started out as the Thank-you year, has turned into the Thank-you 8 months. Lets see if I can make these last 2-1/2 months worth the read.




Good night and God bless....and thank you dad...for everything.