Remember that special lady I told you about last night?

Well, she blessed me with a special Anniversary day today. She and I signed the papers to close on our house, we went to work & then we went to dinner. We shared some spaghetti, some wine and (YUM) a Krispy Kreme Sweetbread desert.

Yes, I think I may have had a weeks worth of salt & sugar at dinner tonight, but it was worth it.
Everything was simple, but it was just so nice to have an hour or two where we could be Ashley & Craig.

Of course, all of this came with periodic stops to remember that I almost was not around to HAVE dinner and a glass of wine. Yes, tonight, once again, this THING that happened to me hovered over everything we did and said today.

However, we are far enough out now, that my condition influenced my decisions, but it did NOT control them. I was aware of my decisions and their consequences, but I still felt free to make choices rather than be forced into decisions.

Other than dinner, I was VERY careful today & I will likely be equally careful tomorrow to make up for my dinner selections. My heart attack made me be careful.

Dinner was a release, an escape, a reward; call it what you want (yes, maybe even a bad set of decisions) but it was what I WANTED to do, not what I was REQUIRED to do....

....and that felt great.

So, tomorrow we get back to being a "good boy" and looking forward to the next "escape". Tonight, I will finish my little vacation and make some sweet memories that Ashley & I can talk about 14 years from now....God willing, of course.

Good night & God bless

Tomorrow is a BIG day.

We close on our new house, yes...and that is important...but not the BEST thing that happens to me tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I will get to celebrate my 14th wedding anniversary. That's right sports fans, the old, "till death do us part" for 14 years.

Wow....never thought I would have to worry about CHALLENGING those vows, but I did in a big way. Wow...yep, that JUST hit me.

For better or for worse....it couldn't be much better than now. It couldn't be much worse than it was on Nov. 22.

In sickness AND in health....yep, got that one....'Nuf said

Till death do us part....weeeelllll, technically I WAS actually dead for 2.5 minutes, so I guess we covered that one too.

For richer or for poorer....if the insurance company keeps charging the rates they do the poorer part will come soon enough. As for rich...well, I think the last few months of this blog have shown how rich I am. We have a roof over our heads, we eat every night and I can't begin to tell you how much my family makes me feel fuller and more "well-off" every day. Add to that the incredible friends that have been so great to the Donahue family (and CONTINUNE to be) and I would bet that I can match the likes of Gates, Buffet and Walton.

As for me, I would marry Ashley again any day and twice on Sundays. She has most definitely been there for the good and the bad for me (the ugly). I can only hope and pray that I have been there for her when she has needed or wanted me there for her. I can only hope I have fulfilled my vows with the love and devotion that she has.

Ashley, #13 was sure a challenge (lucky #13 huh?), but we made it through. If we can get another 37 more together, it still wouldn't be enough....even if they ALL are like 13.

Of all of the friends I am saying thank you to in this blog, you are far and away the most deserving.

I love you baby.

In my last rehab session, our educational session was about stress and ways to alleviate it.
This blog is one of my ways. It gives me the chance to just blurt stuff out that I have been thinking.

(No, not EVERYTHING I am thinking...you never know who is reading)

One thing that we learned was to practice gratitude to alleviate stress. Part of stress is want. Want of more, not being happy with your current situation. So, if you practice gratitude for what you DO have, then you can relax a little when it comes to wanting more.

Replace the stress with gratitude. It is a simple idea, but one we often forget. Kind of like, "eat right & exercise." This is not a tough concept, but somehow we all forget to DO it.

What they suggested was to wake up every day & thank God (or whomever you feel is appropriate)
for 5 things in your life.

I have not tried it yet, but sounds like a great idea; so here goes...

Dear God, thank you for:

My incredible kids. They remind me why I want to live every day & remind me that I need to be better every day than the last. They make it FUN to be a dad.

My strong wife. She keeps me on my toes and keeps me "honest." Her smile is infectious and her support is endless. We need each other.

My family; sisters, mom, dad. Role models all, each in their own way. And always there, even form 600 miles away. They made me who I am.

My friends....more than I ever realized I had, more than I deserve. These folks kept Ashley & the kids safe and well taken care of while I was out of commission. They are the reason for this blog.

My heart attack. I know it is cliché, but I have been given a warning shot over the bow. I was letting my life turn into a string of days to be "gotten through." With what so far has been a comparatively small amount of disruption, I was shown the value, and importance, and JOY of living each day. I am not HAPPY I had my heart attack, but I am GRATEFUL for the way it has turned out.

WHEW!

There you have it. my first session of "Gratitude Practice"
Felt good. You should try it.

Good night & God bless.

It can stop now......people around me can stop trying to one-up me in the bad health department.
Everyone please say a little prayer for my Father-in-Law. He was taken to the hospital by ambulance the other day and is still there with a horrible case of pneumonia.

His blood pressure and heart rate are high and he is having trouble breathing. Fortunately, he IS off the ventilator and breathing on his own...labored as it may be.

Ashley in particular really does not need this right now. After dealing with my situation for the last few months, she really does not deserve to worry about the other important man on her life like this.


As for me, today was a good feeling day. We started packing and boxing things up for the move next week. Unfortunately, since the house is a shambles we got food out all day. While I tried to be a good boy, I can guarantee you that my salt and fat intake was WAYYYYY too high. That is just the nature of eating out.

As you all can tell from my topics, I am still in the mindset of worrying about every day being the one where I fall off the wagon, begin eating poorly and mess up all of the hard work since Nov. 22.

Time to send Ashley to the store for some good old fashioned salt free food. Because of the move, this next week or two will present me with more need to eat out than most weeks have. So I need to make sure that every chance I get, I eat right and don't overdo the portions.

I hate being a heart attack survivor, but I do like fitting into pants I haven't worn since before Ashley & I got married. I gotta remember both of those facts next time I grab for a snack. I need to remember how much I DON'T want another heart attach so that I grab carrots instead of crackers or chips.

Thanks for reading along. Say a prayer for my father-in-law.

Good night & God bless.

Well, I missed last night. I was tired and when my baby girl asked me to lay with her....it was all over but the snoring.

Why was I so tired?

Because you guys said some pretty AWESOME prayers!

Yesterday's workout was one of my best yet. I hit 3 miles on the treadmill and I did some weight work. In fact I am finally getting to weights that are challenging me.

So, since YOU GUYS gave me such great moral support, I was able to overcome my fears on Wednesday and have a great workout. Because of THAT, I was very tired last night and fell asleep early.

So I guess it was ALL Y'ALLs fault that I missed last night.

WHEW! Glad I am off the hook for THAT.


That was then...this is now...

Today was okay, but I guess I was still tired. I had a short fuse with my kids all day. I was frustrated behind the wheel and generally not much fun to be around. SO, I guess I could use some more of those prayers you used so well last night again tonight.

I am not sure what happened today, but I gotta get out of this hole quickly. It is the kind of mood I was in a lot before November 22. Worse, it is the kind of mood my kids don't need to witness.

It's  late & Ashley just got home, so I am signing off to hug her.

Good night & God bless.

So I am a little nervous tonight.


I am nervous about tomorrow.


Tomorrow will be my first rehabilitation class in nearly a week. Being sick over the weekend derailed my class yesterday. I was in no position to go to rehab, beleeeeeeeeive me.


I am nervous because, as I sit here typing, I feel like a blob. I know how inactive I have been during this last week. I am nervous that I will be set back in my ability to drive myself tomorrow. 


I have tried to eat very well while I was out of rehab, but the sitting and the lack of rest on Sunday & Monday nights are weighing on me.


Tonight is the first time since I started rehab that I am not SURE I want to be there tomorrow. I do not like that.


I could use a little push from y'all. Anyone that wants to help, drop me a comment and give me a push to help make sure I go to rehab.


Not a lot else to say tonight. I need to go relax and build some confidence for rehab tomorrow morning.


Good night & God bless.

"Well, my heart attack finally spilled over to someone else in the family yesterday."
"What's THAT mean?"
"I'll tell you."
"Oh, good."
"Ready?"

"Tell us already!!!"

Okay, okay, okay....I'll tell you what I mean.

So, I have had a heart attack....for those of you just joining us...
As such, every move I make is under scrutiny AND every little twinge, every little pain is met with a fearful look. I have been back to the hospital 2 times for an "overabundance of caution."

What does that have to do with yesterday? Well, the hyper-vigilance spilled over to Ashley last night.

She was lying in bed (beautiful as always), feeling poorly.
She mentioned that her chest hurt...uh, for an HOUR...
She then tells me that the pain is in the middle of her chest, like a pressure radiating and growing...
Now, I hear that she is feeling nauseous (noticing a trend?)...
And finally, and here was the kicker...she "just couldn't get comfortable"...

Anyone wanna guess how long it took me to decide that she needed to go to the ER?

Yes indeed, my wife JUST parroted my own symptoms from 3 months ago while I held her in our bed.

Now...had I never had a heart attack, I would likely have just figured she was having a panic attack and held her for another 10-20 minutes, or until it got noticeably worse. But, NOT THIS NIGHT; this night, I was on the phone with 911 and getting a neighbor to come watch the Kids.

<<Pause for a special HUGE thank-you to Tracy Arena who came over without a second of hesitation.>>

Having had the heart attack, and hearing Ashley's symptoms, that was the first thing I thought it could be. Without my experiences, I would likely have made a different call. But, since we have a "survivor" in the family now, I immediately was afraid of what MIGHT be going on inside Ashley.

Fortunately, to make a long story short, we were in the ER until 5 am, multiple tests were run, and nothing really bad was found. Yes, Ashley IS tired after that, and has a stomach bug, but has not suffered a heart attack.

Given my current situation, we were not taking any chances though.

My point?

I am not longer the only one in the family whose health will be under the microscope. That honor has now spilled over to, well, everyone in the family.

Once again the EMTs were wonderful, and the staff at Baptist was first rate. Bravo! Guys!

That's it for now. I am falling asleep as I finish up, so we're done for tonight.

Good night & God bless.