Tonight, I have the honor of being the guest writer for Craig's blog. While he is getting the kids settled for bed, he asked me if I wanted to take on the blogging tonight and I agreed.
As we leave 2015 behind, I am thrilled to be embarking on a brand new year, full of possibilities and opportunities. I don't want to ignore the lessons, mostly learned "the hard way", of 2015. As many of you know, this was a crazy health year for Craig and me. We both have learned to listen to our bodies! Biology ALWAYS wins! We both are keenly aware of the importance of listening to our instincts and paying attention to signs that things "just aren't right". We both are committed to caring for ourselves and each other so that we may be here for many years to come.
As for me, I have learned, in a real way, that I have some of the best family and friends a girl could ask for. During all of our excitement this year, we have had amazing support from so many. I am beyond thankful. None of you will ever know how much your love, kindness, support (near and far), etc meant, especially in the last 6 weeks.
In addition, I also discovered that God uses ALL kinds of situations to teach lessons that we need to see/hear. There is so much that I have learned about myself and many lessons that I want to teach our children so that maybe they won't have to learn them "the hard way". Life is fragile and must be handled with care...unfortunately, there is no life "bubble wrap". Whatever life throws at me (and us, as a family), I am choosing, from here on, to see the lessons in the situation and find the positives. I know that I am continuing to grow and become a better (hopefully) parent, wife, sister, daughter and friend. As I am in my 41st year of life, I realize that I still have so much to learn. Bring on the lessons!
As we enter this brand new year, I pray that 2016 will be good to you and yours. I pray God's protection for you all and that His lessons to you will be ones that you listen to and incorporate in your life.
I leave you with this: "For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Today was a pretty good day!
My cardiac follow-up was at 11:15 and by noon I was cleared. Cleared to WHAT you might ask?
Well, I was cleared to work, cleared to go to my annual company meeting, cleared to play with my kids and CLEARED TO DRIVE!!!!! Yes, I am allowed to sit in the Pilot's seat again.
I am not a particularly good passenger; you know, control issues and all. I also am not a big fan of putting others on the spot to help cart me around. So, not being allowed to drive was tough. I will say that I did get a new perspective on the outside world around me.
When you don't have to keep you eye on the road and the cars around you, you get to look at...ready?...OTHER THINGS!!! Thaaaat's, right sports fans; did you know that there are things to look at when you are traveling down the road OTHER than cars and road stripes. Who'da thought you could see pretty houses, churches peeking out through the trees, and all sort of interesting road signs? It was nice to be able to enjoy the scenery for once.
But I digress....did I mention that I actually get to DRIVE again???
It truly was a good exam. The doctor said my EKG looked great. He liked what my heart and lungs sounded like & he was happy with my progress in the rehabilitation program. He said it looked like I was having good, strong heart function.
My next appointment is in April. So, if you want to know how it goes you are stuck with me for another 4 months. :)
Let's get back to the story and see if we are almost caught up...
Let's review:
My cardiac follow-up was at 11:15 and by noon I was cleared. Cleared to WHAT you might ask?
Well, I was cleared to work, cleared to go to my annual company meeting, cleared to play with my kids and CLEARED TO DRIVE!!!!! Yes, I am allowed to sit in the Pilot's seat again.
!!! YES !!!
I am not a particularly good passenger; you know, control issues and all. I also am not a big fan of putting others on the spot to help cart me around. So, not being allowed to drive was tough. I will say that I did get a new perspective on the outside world around me.
When you don't have to keep you eye on the road and the cars around you, you get to look at...ready?...OTHER THINGS!!! Thaaaat's, right sports fans; did you know that there are things to look at when you are traveling down the road OTHER than cars and road stripes. Who'da thought you could see pretty houses, churches peeking out through the trees, and all sort of interesting road signs? It was nice to be able to enjoy the scenery for once.
But I digress....did I mention that I actually get to DRIVE again???
It truly was a good exam. The doctor said my EKG looked great. He liked what my heart and lungs sounded like & he was happy with my progress in the rehabilitation program. He said it looked like I was having good, strong heart function.
My next appointment is in April. So, if you want to know how it goes you are stuck with me for another 4 months. :)
Let's get back to the story and see if we are almost caught up...
Let's review:
- Got dressed
- Got milk
(yep, answered that advertisers' question ...next, I'm going to locate the beef) - Heart attack
- Heart stopped
- Heart started
- Stent placed
- Hospital stay
- Go home
- Go back
- Go home
So, I am home now with a new toy. The heart monitor was on for 2 weeks. Not a big deal, except that when we sleep, Ashley likes to put her head on my chest. That was tough. We had to lie in just the right spot to make that work.
Fortunately, the monitor could get wet, so I was able to shower.
Ends up that the monitor showed there were no abnormalities in my heart rhythms. Another positive bit of news. Another sigh of relief.
The next 2 weeks or so were pretty uneventful. I sat around a lot. I DID fold some laundry (which is a miracle in and of itself, heart attack or not).
The most notable thing to happen was dinner most nights. Folks from many parts of our lives brought all manner of dinner over so that we would not have to worry about cooking. It was really great. Not only did it give Ashley & I get a break from cooking, but we saw just how giving people can be. AND we got to see a wide range of foods that tasted pretty darn good even though they were heart healthy.
We even had a total stranger bring food. One of our friends who signed up to bring a meal couldn't on her day. She called a friend of HERS that runs a local restaurant and got her to make and deliver dinner for us.
For those of you in the Winston Salem area, I am going to shamelessly plug the restaurant. Dinner that night came from 1703. It is right across the street from the Children's Home on Reynolda Road.
That dinner was yummy and they will be getting a lot more of MY business in the future.
The dinners, ALL of them were wonderful and greatly appreciated. To all who cooked, brought, bought us a meal; thank you so much!
Here is something else I learned as more and more folks brought dinner to us. Telling someone you had a heart attack gives different people WIDELY varying impressions of your condition.
I was not looking particularly healthy. I was tired looking, I was pale, I was NOT clean shaven and I was probably not dressed to the 9's. However, I was mobile, dressed and not connected to any machines.
Some folks seemed like that was exactly what they thought they'd see. They just came in, dropped dinner & left. Some of the visitors seemed to think I looked JUST FINE and stuck around for a while.
But one person in particular wasn't sure WHAT to expect. She admitted she was afraid that I would be in the dining room in a hospital bed. She was very excited to see that I looked...well..."normal".
Just goes to show you never know what to expect when it comes to medical conditions.
Lesson Learned:
If someone does not jump to visit you right away in a medical situation. Don't think ill of them. They don't know what to expect and may be leery of seeing you in a "bad place."
AND...bonus corollary lesson...
If you DO offer to help, be ready to walk into any manner of situation, good or bad. And don't be put off if the offer is turned down. Some folks just don't want to be seen in a "bad place" in their lives.
Generosity offered is generosity appreciated even if it is not accepted.
Good night & God bless.
Fortunately, the monitor could get wet, so I was able to shower.
Ends up that the monitor showed there were no abnormalities in my heart rhythms. Another positive bit of news. Another sigh of relief.
The next 2 weeks or so were pretty uneventful. I sat around a lot. I DID fold some laundry (which is a miracle in and of itself, heart attack or not).
The most notable thing to happen was dinner most nights. Folks from many parts of our lives brought all manner of dinner over so that we would not have to worry about cooking. It was really great. Not only did it give Ashley & I get a break from cooking, but we saw just how giving people can be. AND we got to see a wide range of foods that tasted pretty darn good even though they were heart healthy.
We even had a total stranger bring food. One of our friends who signed up to bring a meal couldn't on her day. She called a friend of HERS that runs a local restaurant and got her to make and deliver dinner for us.
For those of you in the Winston Salem area, I am going to shamelessly plug the restaurant. Dinner that night came from 1703. It is right across the street from the Children's Home on Reynolda Road.
That dinner was yummy and they will be getting a lot more of MY business in the future.
The dinners, ALL of them were wonderful and greatly appreciated. To all who cooked, brought, bought us a meal; thank you so much!
Here is something else I learned as more and more folks brought dinner to us. Telling someone you had a heart attack gives different people WIDELY varying impressions of your condition.
I was not looking particularly healthy. I was tired looking, I was pale, I was NOT clean shaven and I was probably not dressed to the 9's. However, I was mobile, dressed and not connected to any machines.
Some folks seemed like that was exactly what they thought they'd see. They just came in, dropped dinner & left. Some of the visitors seemed to think I looked JUST FINE and stuck around for a while.
But one person in particular wasn't sure WHAT to expect. She admitted she was afraid that I would be in the dining room in a hospital bed. She was very excited to see that I looked...well..."normal".
Just goes to show you never know what to expect when it comes to medical conditions.
Lesson Learned:
If someone does not jump to visit you right away in a medical situation. Don't think ill of them. They don't know what to expect and may be leery of seeing you in a "bad place."
AND...bonus corollary lesson...
If you DO offer to help, be ready to walk into any manner of situation, good or bad. And don't be put off if the offer is turned down. Some folks just don't want to be seen in a "bad place" in their lives.
Generosity offered is generosity appreciated even if it is not accepted.
Good night & God bless.
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Usually, I talk about how I am doing today & then I write the next chapter in my story of pain, recovery and recuperation. Today, with your kind permission, I am going to talk about some other folks. Actually, I am going to DO it anyway, I just hope you will read it.
In the last 6 weeks, people have referred to me as lucky, very lucky, incredibly lucky, and "WOW, you are a lucky man!" One of the ambulance drivers from my second trip to the ER even called me a walking miracle.
I realize I am at least that lucky, but not because I am so smart or self aware.
I realize how lucky I am because of the situations of some other folks in my life. In particular, 3 families are in situations that show just how lucky I am, as a man, as a father, as a person.
Family one recently found out about a case of cancer. It seems that this will be treatable with the usual methods, but cancer is the one word no one wants to hear. This is a long term issue, and one that will always haunt this family. I am lucky enough that my situation was a single event and should not be a problem if I take care of myself. I control my destiny. I am lucky.
Family two is also dealing with a chronic issue. Again, this is a situation that is not in their control. What is really disappointing to hear was that the patient barely made it home for Christmas. They DID get to be home at the last minute. Unfortunately, they were stuck in bed and the holiday had to be celebrated there. I was able to shop for some presents, I was able to welcome the kids to Christmas & I was able to join them at church on Christmas Eve. I am very lucky.
The last family has been on an absolute rollercoaster. The medical issue was originally nothing big, then terrible, then a simple fix, then doctors realized there was another hidden issue that complicated everything. And Christmas? Forget it. This crew spent Christmas in the hospital; wondering what was going to happen. You already know I had a pretty normal Christmas. I am a walking miracle.
My Christmas was happy, normal. These other folks are dealing with situations worse than mine ultimately will be. Thank you for your support, but from today forward, please use some of the prayers meant for me to support these families and all of the families around the world who need the prayers more.
Lesson Learned:
It has been said by countless people, in an infinite number of ways, but it is so true; no matter what your situation is, you can find someone who is in a worse situation, someone who needs more support, someone YOU can help.
No matter what is going on, you have good things in you life. Focus on those things and work through the problems.
In the last 6 weeks, people have referred to me as lucky, very lucky, incredibly lucky, and "WOW, you are a lucky man!" One of the ambulance drivers from my second trip to the ER even called me a walking miracle.
I realize I am at least that lucky, but not because I am so smart or self aware.
I realize how lucky I am because of the situations of some other folks in my life. In particular, 3 families are in situations that show just how lucky I am, as a man, as a father, as a person.
Family one recently found out about a case of cancer. It seems that this will be treatable with the usual methods, but cancer is the one word no one wants to hear. This is a long term issue, and one that will always haunt this family. I am lucky enough that my situation was a single event and should not be a problem if I take care of myself. I control my destiny. I am lucky.
Family two is also dealing with a chronic issue. Again, this is a situation that is not in their control. What is really disappointing to hear was that the patient barely made it home for Christmas. They DID get to be home at the last minute. Unfortunately, they were stuck in bed and the holiday had to be celebrated there. I was able to shop for some presents, I was able to welcome the kids to Christmas & I was able to join them at church on Christmas Eve. I am very lucky.
The last family has been on an absolute rollercoaster. The medical issue was originally nothing big, then terrible, then a simple fix, then doctors realized there was another hidden issue that complicated everything. And Christmas? Forget it. This crew spent Christmas in the hospital; wondering what was going to happen. You already know I had a pretty normal Christmas. I am a walking miracle.
My Christmas was happy, normal. These other folks are dealing with situations worse than mine ultimately will be. Thank you for your support, but from today forward, please use some of the prayers meant for me to support these families and all of the families around the world who need the prayers more.
Lesson Learned:
It has been said by countless people, in an infinite number of ways, but it is so true; no matter what your situation is, you can find someone who is in a worse situation, someone who needs more support, someone YOU can help.
No matter what is going on, you have good things in you life. Focus on those things and work through the problems.
Monday, December 28, 2015
YAY ME!!! My wonderful wife did it AGAIN!
No, she didn't save my life again, but she DID make it better. She contacted the doctor's office and was able to get my follow-up appointment moved up. I no longer have to wait for January 13th. I will see my cardiologist on Wednesday; yes, THIS Wednesday. YES!!!!!
Now, I do not know what this follow-up will entail, but I am hoping it will involve at least some MINOR testing, and will include some clearances for me. I am hoping to be cleared to drive (yes, almost 6 weeks of being a passenger), and to go back to work on the first of the year.
I can find out if I can lose any of the meds, if I can drink a glass of wine, if I can, when can I have a piece of pizza.
Pray for me on Wednesday & we'll see where I am.
But...I promised to tell you about my 2nd scare since coming out of the hospital. So here we go.
Trip #3 to the ER in 3 Weeks
So, the day started off weird. Not sure why, but my heart was pounding hard. It wasn't racing...much.
It was just POUNDING. You know that hard beat where you can almost see your chest pump with each beat.
I was eating breakfast, something boring I'm sure. I was taking some time to read the book they sent home to teach me how to recuperate for the first few weeks. The book explained things like what to eat (nothing yummy), what to look for at the catheter sites, and why I shouldn't lift any heavy weight. Apparently, this was the wrong thing to be doing because THIS was when I noticed my heart pounding.
So, I figured I needed to think of something else. I had been feeling bad about leaving the project team at work with a hole. I thought that if I made some notes and sent an email, that I'd feel better. Apparently THIS was NOT the thing to do. I felt no better and I noticed that the beating sped up as well. When they tell you no work for at least a month, they mean NO WORK for at least a month.
Before I go further, I need to let you know that this was the first day that Ashley felt confident in leaving me alone for more than 5 minutes. She was taking the kids to school and then going to work for a short time. I am alone and I need to prove to Ashley that I am okay to BE alone.
Reading wasn't good, writing wasn't good, so I just laid down on the couch and started breathing deeply. Maybe a few deep breaths would calm me & ease my pounding heart.
Uhhhhh, NOPE!
Now what do I do? Nothing else TO do. I just stayed there, breathing deeply and resting. Fortunately, I fell asleep. UNFORTUNATELY, just as I was falling asleep, the phone rings, scaring the crap out of me. I was 1/2 awake & when the phone rang I literally jumped off the couch and ran for the phone.
In case you've forgotten, I just had a heart attack and was not to exert myself. Just in case you forgot...
SO, now my heart IS racing and still pounding hard, and I am scared that I may have done something dumb. No chest pain fortunately. Hmmmmm, maybe I am okay. But what if I am not? Where is my nitro? Where is the phone if I need 911? High alert for any symptoms....
2:00 pm...Whew!!! Is that the door opening? Yes, my love is home & I am safe.
I explained what happened to Ashley & she checked me out. My pulse was 90+, my heart was still pounding and my BP was 130 over 90. Time to call the cardiologist.
About 4 hours later, we hear back from the doctor. He is not afraid since there was no chest pain.
This settles me and I feel better. But by this time I am exhausted. I have dinner, rest and get ready for bed. When I get in bed, I am a little nervous. What if this is a warning & what if something happens overnight? Not a good way to fall asleep.
1:00 am...you have already guessed what happens next haven't you?
I wake up with a racing, pounding heart and another high blood pressure reading. This time I can feel a little pain or discomfort under my ribs. It felt like someone was digging their finger under my rib cage.
CRAP!!!
A quick call to the triage telephone line to talk to a nurse. Her response to my symptoms was to get me to the ER...now.
Thank God for our wonderful neighbor who, not only ANSWERED her phone at 1 am, but also came over to be with the kids while we head off to the ER as the telephone triage nurse told us to do.
I am back in the ER, IV needles sticking out of me again, EKG sensors stuck to my chest (by the way, how do the keep finding the only spots LEFT with hair?) and poor Ashley spending the night in a chair.
I get another EKG, I get more blood drawn, and I get another chest x-ray.
No problem with the EKG; good.
No broken ribs; good. No pneumonia; better.
But what about the Troponin levels? Are they back up? Are they down? WAS I having another small heart attack? Remember that Troponin is the enzyme the heart secretes when it is damaged.
After about 4 hours of waiting, we finally get the first blood numbers back...Troponin level is 0.03; well under the 0.09 threshold to cause worry. But...there is always a but...the pain was concerning to the Doctors & I needed to be admitted to the hospital just to be sure.
6:30 am...Poor William now wakes up, comes to mom & dad's room and, TADA, no one is home. Even before he gets downstairs, he calls Ashley in a panic. The poor kid, I can't imagine what he was thinking. He is old enough to understand, but still so young. He should not have to go through this.
I convince Ashley to go home and take care of the kids while I wait for a room.
7:00 am...I finally get into a room and get to rest. Well rest when no one is taking MORE blood, or checking my vitals, or coming in to ask how I am doing. Finally about 8:00 am, I can drift off to sleep.
This is a long post, and since I am writing it, you know I made it through the day, so let's cut to the chase.
Apparently, I was having what we believe was an anxiety attack all day Wednesday. I just let it snowball and by 1:00 am my body was done with me.
The results were:
No, she didn't save my life again, but she DID make it better. She contacted the doctor's office and was able to get my follow-up appointment moved up. I no longer have to wait for January 13th. I will see my cardiologist on Wednesday; yes, THIS Wednesday. YES!!!!!
Now, I do not know what this follow-up will entail, but I am hoping it will involve at least some MINOR testing, and will include some clearances for me. I am hoping to be cleared to drive (yes, almost 6 weeks of being a passenger), and to go back to work on the first of the year.
I can find out if I can lose any of the meds, if I can drink a glass of wine, if I can, when can I have a piece of pizza.
Pray for me on Wednesday & we'll see where I am.
But...I promised to tell you about my 2nd scare since coming out of the hospital. So here we go.
Trip #3 to the ER in 3 Weeks
So, the day started off weird. Not sure why, but my heart was pounding hard. It wasn't racing...much.
It was just POUNDING. You know that hard beat where you can almost see your chest pump with each beat.
I was eating breakfast, something boring I'm sure. I was taking some time to read the book they sent home to teach me how to recuperate for the first few weeks. The book explained things like what to eat (nothing yummy), what to look for at the catheter sites, and why I shouldn't lift any heavy weight. Apparently, this was the wrong thing to be doing because THIS was when I noticed my heart pounding.
So, I figured I needed to think of something else. I had been feeling bad about leaving the project team at work with a hole. I thought that if I made some notes and sent an email, that I'd feel better. Apparently THIS was NOT the thing to do. I felt no better and I noticed that the beating sped up as well. When they tell you no work for at least a month, they mean NO WORK for at least a month.
Before I go further, I need to let you know that this was the first day that Ashley felt confident in leaving me alone for more than 5 minutes. She was taking the kids to school and then going to work for a short time. I am alone and I need to prove to Ashley that I am okay to BE alone.
Reading wasn't good, writing wasn't good, so I just laid down on the couch and started breathing deeply. Maybe a few deep breaths would calm me & ease my pounding heart.
Uhhhhh, NOPE!
Now what do I do? Nothing else TO do. I just stayed there, breathing deeply and resting. Fortunately, I fell asleep. UNFORTUNATELY, just as I was falling asleep, the phone rings, scaring the crap out of me. I was 1/2 awake & when the phone rang I literally jumped off the couch and ran for the phone.
In case you've forgotten, I just had a heart attack and was not to exert myself. Just in case you forgot...
SO, now my heart IS racing and still pounding hard, and I am scared that I may have done something dumb. No chest pain fortunately. Hmmmmm, maybe I am okay. But what if I am not? Where is my nitro? Where is the phone if I need 911? High alert for any symptoms....
2:00 pm...Whew!!! Is that the door opening? Yes, my love is home & I am safe.
I explained what happened to Ashley & she checked me out. My pulse was 90+, my heart was still pounding and my BP was 130 over 90. Time to call the cardiologist.
About 4 hours later, we hear back from the doctor. He is not afraid since there was no chest pain.
This settles me and I feel better. But by this time I am exhausted. I have dinner, rest and get ready for bed. When I get in bed, I am a little nervous. What if this is a warning & what if something happens overnight? Not a good way to fall asleep.
1:00 am...you have already guessed what happens next haven't you?
I wake up with a racing, pounding heart and another high blood pressure reading. This time I can feel a little pain or discomfort under my ribs. It felt like someone was digging their finger under my rib cage.
CRAP!!!
A quick call to the triage telephone line to talk to a nurse. Her response to my symptoms was to get me to the ER...now.
Thank God for our wonderful neighbor who, not only ANSWERED her phone at 1 am, but also came over to be with the kids while we head off to the ER as the telephone triage nurse told us to do.
I am back in the ER, IV needles sticking out of me again, EKG sensors stuck to my chest (by the way, how do the keep finding the only spots LEFT with hair?) and poor Ashley spending the night in a chair.
I get another EKG, I get more blood drawn, and I get another chest x-ray.
No problem with the EKG; good.
No broken ribs; good. No pneumonia; better.
But what about the Troponin levels? Are they back up? Are they down? WAS I having another small heart attack? Remember that Troponin is the enzyme the heart secretes when it is damaged.
After about 4 hours of waiting, we finally get the first blood numbers back...Troponin level is 0.03; well under the 0.09 threshold to cause worry. But...there is always a but...the pain was concerning to the Doctors & I needed to be admitted to the hospital just to be sure.
6:30 am...Poor William now wakes up, comes to mom & dad's room and, TADA, no one is home. Even before he gets downstairs, he calls Ashley in a panic. The poor kid, I can't imagine what he was thinking. He is old enough to understand, but still so young. He should not have to go through this.
I convince Ashley to go home and take care of the kids while I wait for a room.
7:00 am...I finally get into a room and get to rest. Well rest when no one is taking MORE blood, or checking my vitals, or coming in to ask how I am doing. Finally about 8:00 am, I can drift off to sleep.
This is a long post, and since I am writing it, you know I made it through the day, so let's cut to the chase.
Apparently, I was having what we believe was an anxiety attack all day Wednesday. I just let it snowball and by 1:00 am my body was done with me.
The results were:
- I got to go home that same day
- I did not have another attack
- For an abundance of caution, the doctor ordered a monitor for me. For the next 2 weeks, I wore a small heart monitor. It was so small, but still there, one more thing to think about each day.
We are still awaiting the results of the monitor readings, but I will guess that they will not be bad. - The doctors were glad we came in to be sure things were still okay.
Lesson Learned:
This whole long post & the lesson is in the last sentence. Even with all of the results pointing to me giving myself an anxiety attack, the doctors were still glad I came in, STILL supportive and still more worried about my health than about telling me I was being a ninny. So, to reiterate one of my first lessons learned. If you are a concerned for your health, GET IT CHECKED OUT. No professional will laugh at you, no doctor, no nurse, no one. Forget that idea and go get your concern checked out.
Good night & God bless.
Sunday, December 27, 2015
I actually got to GO OUT today. Now, don't get me wrong, I have left the house before today. I went to the grocery store (no milk please). I did a little Christmas shopping & I have been to church. But today, I actually went out, just to go out.
Ashley & I took the kids to see Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Road Chip.
It was cute, but that is not my point.
It was very liberating to be able to leave the house for no reason. There was no "be careful," no "are you sure we should?" We JUST did it. For 2 hours, I almost forgot all of this stuff happened. Thanks Alvin, Simon and Theodore for the escape. You guys rock!
While the movie was cute, it will go down as one of my favorites by virtue of the situation. Funny how that works.
Wanna review?
For those of you with kids, go see the chipmunks; for those without, go see Star Wars.
Other than that, I am doing pretty good today. Went to church, got bagels for lunch & then hit the theater. Going to take my walk as soon as I post this.
And now the saga continues...
Two Days Home & It's Back to the Hospital Already:
Yep. I was home for 2 days when Ashley & I noticed I was bleeding from the location where the bubble pump went into my femoral artery.
At first it didn't seem like anything really. I noticed a little blood spot on my pants. I figured a Band-Aid & be done.
Well, upon further inspection, we noticed what seemed like a hard lump with bruising, classic signs of internal bleeding. Internal bleeding here is usually not good.
Neither of us liked what we saw, so at 8 pm, it was off to the local ER for further inspection. Luckily, we made the hard decision to have the kids in Raleigh through the weekend, so they were taken care of.
To make a long story short-ish, we get to the ER at the hospital's satellite campus and find out that the best way to determine if there is internal bleeding is to do an ultrasound. Only problem is, they don't have one available. Oh, they HAVE one, but there isn't anyone there who knows how to sue it.
SO, guess what I get to do?
Yep, you guessed it. I took ANOTHER ride in an ambulance. The Dr. didn't want me riding in the car because of the situation, so he called for a transport ambulance.
Fortunately, this was a much nicer ride than the last one. I was actually feeling pretty good that day, we just really didn't like how the insertion site. I was talking to the EMT; learning how to read an EKG (he showed me where he could still see remnants of the heart attack). I even got to joke with them a little.
To keep this story short-ish...we get to the main campus and find out that a specialist who could read a vascular ultrasound is not on site at night. If we wanted that to happen, we'd have to admit me until the next day. WHAT? REALLY? The machine is there. There are people to operate the machine there, but none are certified to read a VASCULAR ultrasound?!?!?!? Figures. It IS me after all...
Finally, a talented Dr. was willing to give us an "unofficial" reading to help us decide if we should admit me or not. This Dr. and one of the Cardiology residents looked at the images and determined that what they saw on the outside, and what they "unofficially" saw on the inside, indicated to them that I was not bleeding internally.
Yes, they agreed it was ugly, they agreed that we made the right decision to come in, but they felt that we could go home. If anything WAS going on, it would be a slow leak, and not immediately life threatening. By the next day, we could come back safely if we noticed that it looked any worse.
I am glad to say that the next day, the area in question did not look any worse, no better, but no worse. I am also glad to say, that the area healed up nicely and is no longer a concern.
I am NOT happy to say that, less than a week later, there was another scare and another trip to the ER.
That is for tomorrow though.
So, I will bid you good night & remind you to catch the conclusion to this cliff hanger in my next post...
Same Bat Time (give or take)...Same Bat Channel.
Ashley & I took the kids to see Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Road Chip.
It was cute, but that is not my point.
It was very liberating to be able to leave the house for no reason. There was no "be careful," no "are you sure we should?" We JUST did it. For 2 hours, I almost forgot all of this stuff happened. Thanks Alvin, Simon and Theodore for the escape. You guys rock!
While the movie was cute, it will go down as one of my favorites by virtue of the situation. Funny how that works.
Wanna review?
For those of you with kids, go see the chipmunks; for those without, go see Star Wars.
Other than that, I am doing pretty good today. Went to church, got bagels for lunch & then hit the theater. Going to take my walk as soon as I post this.
And now the saga continues...
Two Days Home & It's Back to the Hospital Already:
Yep. I was home for 2 days when Ashley & I noticed I was bleeding from the location where the bubble pump went into my femoral artery.
At first it didn't seem like anything really. I noticed a little blood spot on my pants. I figured a Band-Aid & be done.
Well, upon further inspection, we noticed what seemed like a hard lump with bruising, classic signs of internal bleeding. Internal bleeding here is usually not good.
Neither of us liked what we saw, so at 8 pm, it was off to the local ER for further inspection. Luckily, we made the hard decision to have the kids in Raleigh through the weekend, so they were taken care of.
To make a long story short-ish, we get to the ER at the hospital's satellite campus and find out that the best way to determine if there is internal bleeding is to do an ultrasound. Only problem is, they don't have one available. Oh, they HAVE one, but there isn't anyone there who knows how to sue it.
SO, guess what I get to do?
...did you try to guess? I can wait...
Yep, you guessed it. I took ANOTHER ride in an ambulance. The Dr. didn't want me riding in the car because of the situation, so he called for a transport ambulance.
Fortunately, this was a much nicer ride than the last one. I was actually feeling pretty good that day, we just really didn't like how the insertion site. I was talking to the EMT; learning how to read an EKG (he showed me where he could still see remnants of the heart attack). I even got to joke with them a little.
To keep this story short-ish...we get to the main campus and find out that a specialist who could read a vascular ultrasound is not on site at night. If we wanted that to happen, we'd have to admit me until the next day. WHAT? REALLY? The machine is there. There are people to operate the machine there, but none are certified to read a VASCULAR ultrasound?!?!?!? Figures. It IS me after all...
Finally, a talented Dr. was willing to give us an "unofficial" reading to help us decide if we should admit me or not. This Dr. and one of the Cardiology residents looked at the images and determined that what they saw on the outside, and what they "unofficially" saw on the inside, indicated to them that I was not bleeding internally.
Yes, they agreed it was ugly, they agreed that we made the right decision to come in, but they felt that we could go home. If anything WAS going on, it would be a slow leak, and not immediately life threatening. By the next day, we could come back safely if we noticed that it looked any worse.
I am glad to say that the next day, the area in question did not look any worse, no better, but no worse. I am also glad to say, that the area healed up nicely and is no longer a concern.
I am NOT happy to say that, less than a week later, there was another scare and another trip to the ER.
That is for tomorrow though.
So, I will bid you good night & remind you to catch the conclusion to this cliff hanger in my next post...
Same Bat Time (give or take)...Same Bat Channel.
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Whew! I almost forgot my most important medicine tonight. THAT would have been bad. That medicine is the one that is preventing scarring and blood from clotting around my stent. If a clot or a scar forms around the stent, it would be the equivalent of another blockage at the very site that started this whole mess.
Not sure what happened, I have an alarm on my phone (FOUR alarms to be exact; one for each time I need to take meds in the day). Somehow, I missed the alarm, had dinner, sat around for 3 extra hours & FINALLY noticed that I didn't take the meds. I guess time will tell if that was a big problem or not. Let's hope 5 weeks of the medicine building up in my system will allow me this one mistake.
This is my life now. I go about my day in 4 hour stretches. The free time between each alarm is where I get to be "normal".
Other than that, today was GREAT. I got to go for my rehab walk outside with the family. We walked around the grounds of a historical home, talking & laughing. It truly was wonderful to have my biggest supporters with me.
Let's get back to the story ...it's time to go home...
Home from the Hospital
Well, I am FINALLY home. Thing is...the kids are not. Our original plans were to go to Raleigh for Thanksgiving. Since Ashley & I knew I needed rest, we decided to send the kids with Gigi & Doodle (Ashley's parents). We wanted them to celebrate a semi-normal Thanksgiving, and I needed them there so I could have a few quiet days at home.
As much as I adore my children, this was a good decision on our part. It was nice to be able to sleep when I needed, eat when I needed, and not worry about taking care of my 3 ducklings. I missed them for sure, but the pure solitude of having just Ashley & I here made the initial recuperation much easier and therefore, I am sure, more effective.
...and so starts a month of doing a whole lotta nothin'.
Ashley & I got to catch up on the Hobbit movies. Weeeeelllllll more correctly, I did. Ashley couldn't have cared less who Bilbo Baggins was, or WHAT Gollum was.
So there I am, on the couch, watching movies, hanging with Ashley & thinking about what has just happened to me. I am now a heart attack survivor. I "survived". But what did that mean? What do I do with that? Where do I put it and bring it out for use? How long will I be a "survivor" and when will I just become Craig again? And when.....WHEN will I get to have my first piece of pizza?
These are the things that went through my mind each day. Questions about how and when would my life return to normal. In fact, what was going to be "normal" for me from now on?
Not sure what happened, I have an alarm on my phone (FOUR alarms to be exact; one for each time I need to take meds in the day). Somehow, I missed the alarm, had dinner, sat around for 3 extra hours & FINALLY noticed that I didn't take the meds. I guess time will tell if that was a big problem or not. Let's hope 5 weeks of the medicine building up in my system will allow me this one mistake.
This is my life now. I go about my day in 4 hour stretches. The free time between each alarm is where I get to be "normal".
Other than that, today was GREAT. I got to go for my rehab walk outside with the family. We walked around the grounds of a historical home, talking & laughing. It truly was wonderful to have my biggest supporters with me.
Let's get back to the story ...it's time to go home...
Home from the Hospital
Well, I am FINALLY home. Thing is...the kids are not. Our original plans were to go to Raleigh for Thanksgiving. Since Ashley & I knew I needed rest, we decided to send the kids with Gigi & Doodle (Ashley's parents). We wanted them to celebrate a semi-normal Thanksgiving, and I needed them there so I could have a few quiet days at home.
...time for meds...
As much as I adore my children, this was a good decision on our part. It was nice to be able to sleep when I needed, eat when I needed, and not worry about taking care of my 3 ducklings. I missed them for sure, but the pure solitude of having just Ashley & I here made the initial recuperation much easier and therefore, I am sure, more effective.
...time for meds...
...and so starts a month of doing a whole lotta nothin'.
Ashley & I got to catch up on the Hobbit movies. Weeeeelllllll more correctly, I did. Ashley couldn't have cared less who Bilbo Baggins was, or WHAT Gollum was.
...time for meds...
So there I am, on the couch, watching movies, hanging with Ashley & thinking about what has just happened to me. I am now a heart attack survivor. I "survived". But what did that mean? What do I do with that? Where do I put it and bring it out for use? How long will I be a "survivor" and when will I just become Craig again? And when.....WHEN will I get to have my first piece of pizza?
These are the things that went through my mind each day. Questions about how and when would my life return to normal. In fact, what was going to be "normal" for me from now on?
...time for meds...
So, there is your answer for the near term. Meds take on a good part of the planning for the day.
Eating is a new experience as well. I have been given a goal of less than 1200 milligrams of sodium per day; 300 milligrams per meal and a snack. Want to know how much that is? Want to know how hard that might be? Look at the labels on YOUR food packages. Add up all of the sodium on those labels & you'll know just how hard it is to stay near 300 milligrams for a meal.
Let's see:
- skim milk 170mg; cereal 150-200 mg - DONE for breakfast
- 2 slices bread 250-350 mg (whole wheat); cheese 120-200 mg; lunchmeat - over 100mg- WOOPS too much at lunch
- grilled chicken sandwich 600 mg WOAH....dinner is OVER, forget the fries.
Add that up...whatever it is, I BET it will be over 1200 mg of sodium and I would doubt anyone would think themselves full after eating that list of foods for the day.
There you have it...I am home, I have survived, and I have no idea what will come next. All I DO know; what ever it is the future will not include much salt.
Lesson Learned: Sodium sneaks into everything. Even lunchmeat has plenty of salt as a preservative. Additionally, those labels on the food we buy & eat are priceless. Look them over, cut back on fats, cut back on sodium, and make sure you get a good amount of protein and fiber.
Good night & God bless.
Friday, December 25, 2015
What a wonderful Christmas!
Time with the kids and Ashley all day. Didn't get out of my jammies till almost 4 pm. Dinner with a WONDERFUL family in Lexington, NC. Picture a home with so many loving family members in it that the living room was emptied to make room for the dining tables.
Fun conversations, kids eating all sorts treats, and delicious food; it was GREAT.
Merry Christmas to everyone who has stopped in to read today.
Prepping for Discharge
Leaving a hospital is never simple. When I left though, I had a small library of books and papers. I also has a mobile pharmacy.
Normally, the instructions are to rest a little, follow-up with your family Dr. and take your meds.
When I left, I had all of that and more.
I had a list of things I couldn't do for a week, for 2 weeks, for a month and for 6-8 weeks. I also had TWO doctors appointments already set up, and my list of medications to fill.
The medication list was one of the hardest parts for me because, until now, I had never taken a medication on a consistent basis.
Now I have iron, children's asprin, cholesterol medication, pulse lowering drugs and anti-platelet drugs. I also walked out with pain meds and nitroglycerin. It is so daunting that Ashley had to get one of those daily pill trays so we could keep track of my 4 dosings a day.
A slight clarification here...the HARDEST part was knowing I couldn't pick up and carry my baby girl; nothing over 10 pounds until permitted by the doctor. It was horrible to see her standing right at my feet, arms outstretched with that face begging me for "uppies" knowing I couldn't do a damn thing about it.
Fortunately, by the time you read this post, I was cleared to hold my baby.
What I am NOT allowed to do still is drive.
I have not been allowed to drive since I got back from the grocery store on the day of the heart attack. Do you know how hard it is to shop for Christmas when you can't drive? Thank heaven for my neighbor who was willing to chauffeur me around the last couple of days. WHEW!
Well, I see this is getting a little long winded tonight, and everyone is probably already asleep from their sumptuous Christmas dinners, so I'll say good night, Merry Christmas, and thanks for taking this trip with me.
Time with the kids and Ashley all day. Didn't get out of my jammies till almost 4 pm. Dinner with a WONDERFUL family in Lexington, NC. Picture a home with so many loving family members in it that the living room was emptied to make room for the dining tables.
Fun conversations, kids eating all sorts treats, and delicious food; it was GREAT.
Merry Christmas to everyone who has stopped in to read today.
Prepping for Discharge
Leaving a hospital is never simple. When I left though, I had a small library of books and papers. I also has a mobile pharmacy.
Normally, the instructions are to rest a little, follow-up with your family Dr. and take your meds.
When I left, I had all of that and more.
I had a list of things I couldn't do for a week, for 2 weeks, for a month and for 6-8 weeks. I also had TWO doctors appointments already set up, and my list of medications to fill.
The medication list was one of the hardest parts for me because, until now, I had never taken a medication on a consistent basis.
Now I have iron, children's asprin, cholesterol medication, pulse lowering drugs and anti-platelet drugs. I also walked out with pain meds and nitroglycerin. It is so daunting that Ashley had to get one of those daily pill trays so we could keep track of my 4 dosings a day.
A slight clarification here...the HARDEST part was knowing I couldn't pick up and carry my baby girl; nothing over 10 pounds until permitted by the doctor. It was horrible to see her standing right at my feet, arms outstretched with that face begging me for "uppies" knowing I couldn't do a damn thing about it.
Fortunately, by the time you read this post, I was cleared to hold my baby.
What I am NOT allowed to do still is drive.
I have not been allowed to drive since I got back from the grocery store on the day of the heart attack. Do you know how hard it is to shop for Christmas when you can't drive? Thank heaven for my neighbor who was willing to chauffeur me around the last couple of days. WHEW!
Well, I see this is getting a little long winded tonight, and everyone is probably already asleep from their sumptuous Christmas dinners, so I'll say good night, Merry Christmas, and thanks for taking this trip with me.
Thursday, December 24, 2015
WOW! Did I almost let TWO days slip by without a post?!?!?!?
I am very sorry for missing yesterday. Christmas preparations just took the day away from me.
We had a WONDERFUL dinner with 2 incredible families. While everyone else had lasagna, I ate salmon. Thank you to our hosts for my own personal meal.
I am not sure I have any energy left today to write about my recovery....watching out for Santa is a very taxing job. ;)
I promose, that I will not let tomorrow...Christmas Day go by without a post.
I'll finish up the story at the hospital and maybe "bring you all home from there with me.
For now....a slightly early Meery Christmas to you all; love and the care of God be with you.
Talk to you tomorrow.
I am very sorry for missing yesterday. Christmas preparations just took the day away from me.
We had a WONDERFUL dinner with 2 incredible families. While everyone else had lasagna, I ate salmon. Thank you to our hosts for my own personal meal.
I am not sure I have any energy left today to write about my recovery....watching out for Santa is a very taxing job. ;)
I promose, that I will not let tomorrow...Christmas Day go by without a post.
I'll finish up the story at the hospital and maybe "bring you all home from there with me.
For now....a slightly early Meery Christmas to you all; love and the care of God be with you.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Today's rehab went very well. I was able to push my heart rate up over 120 beats per minute. That was a bit of a surprise to me. I did not think they would want me going that high; almost 2 times my normal heart rate before this all happened.
The Exercise Physiologist told me that eventually she would like me to go up to 135. This is a surprise to me. I figured 120 would be my upper limit for some time. Not sure why I thought this, I have just always had that number in my head.
This was my only stop this week at rehab. My next session is next Tuesday. So, anyone who is reading this, PLEASE remind me to get my walking in every day. I try to remember, but 3 kids will suck the brain power out of the best of men. I really can't go a whole week without "working-out".
PLEASE anyone within the sound of my "voice" email me, text me, send me a Facebook message or comment on this blog and pester me each day to walk.
...and now, back to the story...
Nov. 25 & 26 - Special Visitors at the Cardiac Floor
I had so many wonderful visits while I was on the Cardiac floor. To all of those who visited me, "Thank you!" It is never fun to be in a hospital room to visit. The person is probably tired, there is NOWHERE to sit, and you have to be quiet. SO, thanks to everyone.
That being said, I had two particular visits that I want to mention today.
First, and most importantly, I was allowed to see the kids!!!!!
The CV-ICU doesn't allow children. But, even if it did, I wouldn't have let them see me while I was there. No WAY they were going to see me looking pathetic. They needed to know I was okay & I did not LOOK okay in the ICU. It was hard, but best. So, my first full day on the Cardiac floor, I got to see my ducklings and it made me feel SO MUCH BETTER. William walked in, teared up and ran right to my side with a huge hug. Kerry followed suit and then, THEN, Mackenzie climbed up on the bed and laid her head on me. Cry much? I did.
The second visit was only slightly less special because it was actually such a surprise. A family from the children's school came. I am leaving their name out to protect everyone from the "internet ghouls". But, here is the visit...I am sitting with Ashley, it is quiet and we figured we were "in for the night". Next thing you know there is this soft rap on the door and in comes the daughter, carrying a basket of books & coloring books for me AND the kids. What a thoughtful gift to bring.
So, mom, dad and daughter sat & talked for a good 30 minutes. They let me explain to the daughter what happened to me. This was great because it was practice for telling my OWN kids later in the week. We just had a nice visit. There was nothing special about the conversation.
What made this visit so special? Well, while these are VERY nice folks & I enjoy speaking to them at the school, we really have no relationship outside the walls of the school. This visit was out of the blue and therefore special.
I could name 20 couples with whom I have had more of a relationship outside the school, and yet, something in these folks brought them to me at a time of need. I never thought I would be on their radar for such a visit and such care. This is not a reflection on the family, they are wonderful folks. I just never thought I was of that much consequence to them. It was a nice surprise and a nice addition to my life.
Lesson Learned: Be a positive influence and have a positive impact on all the folks you meet. You never know which ones will stop in and see you in times of need....and NEVER bet on who is knocking on your door.
Monday, December 21, 2015
Thanks to everyone for listening to me whine yesterday. Not that I am feeling a lot better today, but I am better able to deal with it today.
My neighbor has been SO supportive throughout this ordeal. He can empathize with me since he had the same heart attack 5 years ago. He has been walking with me almost every day, and he has been offering insight into what to expect. He and his wife are like family to Ashley, the kids & me (or is it 'I'? Nope...it's 'me'.).
Today, he made me feel REALLY good...while we were walking we discussed my rehab so far. When I told him I got up to over 3 miles an hour, he about dropped his water bottle. We was so surprised that I was able to get that high so quickly. Without too much detail he was well below that in his first week. I was excited to hear I was in a better spot than he so early. Why? Well, he is all but back to normal life activities. He still needs to "mind his p's & q's" but he is active and functional as ever. There is hope for me.
Lesson Learned: No matter how you feel right now, hard work and a good attitude can get you feeling and functioning well.
Nov. 25 & 26 - Cardiac Care Floor
I mentioned yesterday that I was allowed to walk by this point. As I grew stronger, the hospital staff allowed me...
...OUT OF THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!
My rehabilitation officially started at this point. We started simple, a walk to the end of the hallway and back. It WAS a long hallway ;). Each day, I was allowed to go a little monger. Before you knew it, I was walking around the entire floor in a big circle; well, not THAT big a circle.
I never thought I would be so excited by a walk totaling 300 yards. Even after I had my knee repaired I didn't feel so locked-in.
So lot's more freedom and lot's more sleep, things were getting better. On my last day in the hospital, I was even allowed to put on clothes and take off the "backless gown of shame".
Short one tonight....I am tired and sore, but be sure to stop back tomorrow to hear all about two very VERY special visits I had before I left the hospital.
Hope to "see" you tomorrow & God bless.
My neighbor has been SO supportive throughout this ordeal. He can empathize with me since he had the same heart attack 5 years ago. He has been walking with me almost every day, and he has been offering insight into what to expect. He and his wife are like family to Ashley, the kids & me (or is it 'I'? Nope...it's 'me'.).
Today, he made me feel REALLY good...while we were walking we discussed my rehab so far. When I told him I got up to over 3 miles an hour, he about dropped his water bottle. We was so surprised that I was able to get that high so quickly. Without too much detail he was well below that in his first week. I was excited to hear I was in a better spot than he so early. Why? Well, he is all but back to normal life activities. He still needs to "mind his p's & q's" but he is active and functional as ever. There is hope for me.
Lesson Learned: No matter how you feel right now, hard work and a good attitude can get you feeling and functioning well.
Nov. 25 & 26 - Cardiac Care Floor
I mentioned yesterday that I was allowed to walk by this point. As I grew stronger, the hospital staff allowed me...
...OUT OF THE ROOM!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!
My rehabilitation officially started at this point. We started simple, a walk to the end of the hallway and back. It WAS a long hallway ;). Each day, I was allowed to go a little monger. Before you knew it, I was walking around the entire floor in a big circle; well, not THAT big a circle.
I never thought I would be so excited by a walk totaling 300 yards. Even after I had my knee repaired I didn't feel so locked-in.
So lot's more freedom and lot's more sleep, things were getting better. On my last day in the hospital, I was even allowed to put on clothes and take off the "backless gown of shame".
Short one tonight....I am tired and sore, but be sure to stop back tomorrow to hear all about two very VERY special visits I had before I left the hospital.
Hope to "see" you tomorrow & God bless.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Today was tough, I'll admit. Aside from being tired, and a little bored, I have been hurting pretty badly as a result of the CPR. Now...don't get me wrong, CPR and hurting is MUCH more desirable that some of the other options. It's just that I feel each twinge from the injuries and I need to stop and "think". I have to think, "Is this the same pain as Sunday?" It gets tiring to keep doing that. Add to that the usual limitations on what you can, or WANT to do because if you move JUST the wrong way...OUCH!
So, what is it that hurts? First, my sternum is just sore. It only hurts a little by now, but it is a continuous pain.
Then we can move through to my back. Ever lay on your back on a golf ball? OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T, because it would hurt, right. DUH! Well, that is what my back feels like. It feels like someone has been shoving a tennis ball into my back for a month.
The sharper pain is in my right pectoral muscle. Every time I try to pick up something or reach back, it feels like someone if scraping a grater across my chest. Those are the results of the CPR.
The seizure was nice enough to give me shoulder pain. I have no idea what I did, but if I reach the wrong way, there is a sharp pain followed by a soreness. Something as simple as holding my cell phone to my ear hurts.
SO, what's the worst part? The worst part is that I am whining about it to you guys. The pain stinks, but knowing that I am letting it get to me is worse than the pain. I am alive, I feel pain, I can kiss my wife.....I hate that I am so lucky and yet have spent the day a little angry.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Nov. 25 - Cardiac Care Floor
Okay, jumping ahead a couple of days and I am in the "regular" cardiac floor. I have lost most of the tubes, but not the heart monitor. In addition I can get up and....ready?...go TO the bathroom, instead of having the "bathroom" come to me. I am actually allowed to sit in a chair, and I can walk.
The room itself is larger and the chair for Ashley is much more comfortable. Oh, did I not mention that lady's name recently? Well, let me tell you about Ashley. She has not left my side for more that 10 minutes since this all started. She WILL NOT leave the hospital. It took some real begging to get her to go to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee.
Each night, Ashley pulls the reclining chair to the side of the bed & we hold hands to fall asleep.
Oh, yeah, we get to sleep for FOUR hours at a time instead of 1. On this floor, they only wake you every 4 hours. You'd have to ask Ashley if she actually slept. I slept like a champ for those 4 hour intervals.so I can't say how well she did each night. What I know....Ashley Donahue was still my rock and still there by my side. She is an amazing woman.
No real lesson today...as I said at the top of this post, tomorrow will be a better day.
So, what is it that hurts? First, my sternum is just sore. It only hurts a little by now, but it is a continuous pain.
Then we can move through to my back. Ever lay on your back on a golf ball? OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T, because it would hurt, right. DUH! Well, that is what my back feels like. It feels like someone has been shoving a tennis ball into my back for a month.
The sharper pain is in my right pectoral muscle. Every time I try to pick up something or reach back, it feels like someone if scraping a grater across my chest. Those are the results of the CPR.
The seizure was nice enough to give me shoulder pain. I have no idea what I did, but if I reach the wrong way, there is a sharp pain followed by a soreness. Something as simple as holding my cell phone to my ear hurts.
SO, what's the worst part? The worst part is that I am whining about it to you guys. The pain stinks, but knowing that I am letting it get to me is worse than the pain. I am alive, I feel pain, I can kiss my wife.....I hate that I am so lucky and yet have spent the day a little angry.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Nov. 25 - Cardiac Care Floor
Okay, jumping ahead a couple of days and I am in the "regular" cardiac floor. I have lost most of the tubes, but not the heart monitor. In addition I can get up and....ready?...go TO the bathroom, instead of having the "bathroom" come to me. I am actually allowed to sit in a chair, and I can walk.
The room itself is larger and the chair for Ashley is much more comfortable. Oh, did I not mention that lady's name recently? Well, let me tell you about Ashley. She has not left my side for more that 10 minutes since this all started. She WILL NOT leave the hospital. It took some real begging to get her to go to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee.
Each night, Ashley pulls the reclining chair to the side of the bed & we hold hands to fall asleep.
Oh, yeah, we get to sleep for FOUR hours at a time instead of 1. On this floor, they only wake you every 4 hours. You'd have to ask Ashley if she actually slept. I slept like a champ for those 4 hour intervals.so I can't say how well she did each night. What I know....Ashley Donahue was still my rock and still there by my side. She is an amazing woman.
No real lesson today...as I said at the top of this post, tomorrow will be a better day.
Saturday, December 19, 2015
When you can't drive yourself anywhere, it is VERY hard to buy Christmas presents for your spouse. You can't sneak out and grab a quick thing for anyone. Heck, you can't even run out and grab a gallon of milk for your family....oh, wait, a quick milk run is what STARTED this whole thing (check out the first post if you don't remember).
Fortunately, my love was willing to drive me everywhere I needed to go recently even while she had to work, and get ready for 4 performances of A Christmas Carol.
Anyone who knows me, knows I am not a great passenger, and I am TERRIBLE at allowing others to do things for me, so this is a double whammy of a restriction. Sometimes you just need to swallow your pride and allow others to be in command. Otherwise you will sit around the house and go stir crazy.
Nov. 22 & 23 - What is it like in the CV-ICU?
So what is it like I the CV-ICU? Boooooooring! Once the cramps leave from staying in the same position for12 hours, the highlight of the day is being able to shift your position in bed without help.
IV's sticking in both arms, and an oxygen tube in your nose (this is called a cannula) make much else an impossibility. SO, what do you do? You watch one of the 10 TV channels, or you read, or you sleep....a lot.
What I MUST say here is THANK YOU! Thank you to all of the friends who stopped by and kept me sane. It was almost like my friends and family here in NC made a schedule and took slots. I always had someone to talk to or nap in front of. Yep, folks would be there just to watch me snore. And yet, even when I was asleep, I knew someone was there, keeping watch.
There is one other thing you get to do in the ICU...be monitored....Even though you are connected to a machine that constantly monitors blood pressure, pulse rate, respiration rate, and the % of oxygen carried by your blood, you see a nurse, over and over and over again.
By policy, someone comes in every hour, EVERY HOUR, and takes blood, or has a pill for you, or takes vitals. This is no joke. This time is critical to recovery & the staff needs to know how you are doing. To do this, they stop in constantly to run tests. No, a hospital is not a place to rest in that sense, sleep does not come for hours at a time.
You know what, while most find this an interruption and inconvenient, I will be honest, I was actually glad they did this. That constant care, and monitoring did so much to set my mind at ease that I was safe. Safe, this word had new meaning. I needed to see a nurse or doctor to get updates and comfort. I needed that for myself. Every time I got to give blood for testing, or stuck my arm our for a BP reading, or leaned up for 2 or 3 pills, I knew someone who could save my life was right there. I knew it was another opportunity to hear that I was improving, recovering.
Lesson learned: That stereotype of hospital staff coming in JUST as you drop off to sleep is true.
Good night & god bless. Talk to you tomorrow.
Fortunately, my love was willing to drive me everywhere I needed to go recently even while she had to work, and get ready for 4 performances of A Christmas Carol.
Anyone who knows me, knows I am not a great passenger, and I am TERRIBLE at allowing others to do things for me, so this is a double whammy of a restriction. Sometimes you just need to swallow your pride and allow others to be in command. Otherwise you will sit around the house and go stir crazy.
Nov. 22 & 23 - What is it like in the CV-ICU?
So what is it like I the CV-ICU? Boooooooring! Once the cramps leave from staying in the same position for12 hours, the highlight of the day is being able to shift your position in bed without help.
IV's sticking in both arms, and an oxygen tube in your nose (this is called a cannula) make much else an impossibility. SO, what do you do? You watch one of the 10 TV channels, or you read, or you sleep....a lot.
What I MUST say here is THANK YOU! Thank you to all of the friends who stopped by and kept me sane. It was almost like my friends and family here in NC made a schedule and took slots. I always had someone to talk to or nap in front of. Yep, folks would be there just to watch me snore. And yet, even when I was asleep, I knew someone was there, keeping watch.
There is one other thing you get to do in the ICU...be monitored....Even though you are connected to a machine that constantly monitors blood pressure, pulse rate, respiration rate, and the % of oxygen carried by your blood, you see a nurse, over and over and over again.
By policy, someone comes in every hour, EVERY HOUR, and takes blood, or has a pill for you, or takes vitals. This is no joke. This time is critical to recovery & the staff needs to know how you are doing. To do this, they stop in constantly to run tests. No, a hospital is not a place to rest in that sense, sleep does not come for hours at a time.
You know what, while most find this an interruption and inconvenient, I will be honest, I was actually glad they did this. That constant care, and monitoring did so much to set my mind at ease that I was safe. Safe, this word had new meaning. I needed to see a nurse or doctor to get updates and comfort. I needed that for myself. Every time I got to give blood for testing, or stuck my arm our for a BP reading, or leaned up for 2 or 3 pills, I knew someone who could save my life was right there. I knew it was another opportunity to hear that I was improving, recovering.
Lesson learned: That stereotype of hospital staff coming in JUST as you drop off to sleep is true.
Good night & god bless. Talk to you tomorrow.
Friday, December 18, 2015
Today, the children's school had "community sing". This is a once a month thing where the children and parents get together & sing songs, perform with instruments and have a wonderful time.
I realized just how much I still get to see in life this morning. If all goes well. And if Mackenzie, my daughter, stays in the school till 6th grade, I will have roughly 100 more of these to attend.
Tonight, I get to see Kerry & Ashley (my son and wife) in A Christmas Carol. Mommy is the Ghost of Christmas Present. I find it ironic that SHE is the pale one who resembles a ghost over the next couple of nights & not me.
Things like this, like community sing and theatrical performances, are what are going to keep me on track at the cardiac rehab program.
I was back there again today & did pretty well again, but it is going to be a slog. It is lot's of walking and seated stretches. I was 20 yrs younger than anyone else there, and I felt a little goofy. But, I must keep going, I must keep working because I have 100 more renditions of the song, "People All Over the World" left to sing with my kids.
Lesson Learned: Rehab will not be fun, or exciting, but it WILL give me the ability to do the things that ARE. When you are given the opportunity to participate in a physical rehab program, take it and use it to the fullest...no matter how you feel on day 1.
Nov. 22 & 23 - Time in the Cardio-Vascular Intensive Care Unit (CVICU)
I promised you all a look at me in the hospital today & here it comes.
Mind you, there is nothing gory or particularly gross (other than my face as usual), but it is pictures of a sick person in a hospital bed. Also, these ARE selfies, so they are not the worst I looked. I don't believe anyone took pictures of me at the worst...thankfully
Here they are:
I realized just how much I still get to see in life this morning. If all goes well. And if Mackenzie, my daughter, stays in the school till 6th grade, I will have roughly 100 more of these to attend.
Tonight, I get to see Kerry & Ashley (my son and wife) in A Christmas Carol. Mommy is the Ghost of Christmas Present. I find it ironic that SHE is the pale one who resembles a ghost over the next couple of nights & not me.
Things like this, like community sing and theatrical performances, are what are going to keep me on track at the cardiac rehab program.
I was back there again today & did pretty well again, but it is going to be a slog. It is lot's of walking and seated stretches. I was 20 yrs younger than anyone else there, and I felt a little goofy. But, I must keep going, I must keep working because I have 100 more renditions of the song, "People All Over the World" left to sing with my kids.
Lesson Learned: Rehab will not be fun, or exciting, but it WILL give me the ability to do the things that ARE. When you are given the opportunity to participate in a physical rehab program, take it and use it to the fullest...no matter how you feel on day 1.
Nov. 22 & 23 - Time in the Cardio-Vascular Intensive Care Unit (CVICU)
I promised you all a look at me in the hospital today & here it comes.
Mind you, there is nothing gory or particularly gross (other than my face as usual), but it is pictures of a sick person in a hospital bed. Also, these ARE selfies, so they are not the worst I looked. I don't believe anyone took pictures of me at the worst...thankfully
Here they are:
Pic. 1 - Me alone late Sunday night. That isn't bad lighting, that is my color.
Pic. 2 - If you think MY color was bad, look at that tongue. Purple and twice the normal size.
Pic. 3 - Four days later & it is finally starting to look "normal".
Pic. 4 - I'm home here. This is the remnants of the impact this little event had on my eyeballs.
That's about it for today. God bless and have a great day.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Yesterday was my orientation to cardiac rehab. They discussed the program, asked me a boat load of questions and gave me a tracking sheet where I have to enter EVERY MORSEL of food I eat for a week....A WEEK!
The nurse and exercise physiologist were happy with the notes they were given on my condition and expect that I will be able to handle the program without any trouble. That was yesterday...
Today I took my first turn on the "track". It is a taped off oval on the floor of the fitness room where rehab takes place, so to call it a track is a bit of an overstatement.
The hour goes like this:
If you are trying to picture it, I have a tube in my wrist that goes to the main artery of the most important part of the heart. I ALSO have a tube in me that goes from my leg, up the femoral artery, into my heart with a balloon on it, that is basically pumping for my heart.
I am on 100% oxygen, dopamine to keep my heart rate "low" (if you can call 90 low) and a low does morphine drip to keep the pain down.
Because of the catheter in my leg, I was on my back, with my leg cocked to the side like a figure 4 and not allowed to move for about 10-12 hours. The cramp in my leg was so bad, that 2 added doses of morphine didn't touch the stinging pain. Imagine your whole leg cramped from your hip to your knee for a few hours and you'll get a sense of how it felt. Oh, and guys....I can't get up to use the restroom, so I have one OTHER thing sticking out of me.
None of those things hurt like the chest cramps though. These were odd and no one knew why they were happening. Periodically, I would just cramp up from my chest to my waist; every muscle, every nerve ending would just fire off & contract. The pain in my breast plate was so intense I had to try breathing exercises just to get through it, I tried to deep breathe, then I settled on short, breaths making sure I got them in and out....ladies? sound familiar?...You guessed it, Ashley said it looked and sounded like I was having labor contractions. So, I guess that puts me n pretty rare company, a man who has experienced SOME degree of labor pains.
These last few days, you have read and tried to picture what a I looked and felt like. If you will come back tomorrow, you will get to SEE what I looked like & hopefully get a sense of how I felt. I'll be posting some pictures of myself in the Cardiac ICU.
God bless.
The nurse and exercise physiologist were happy with the notes they were given on my condition and expect that I will be able to handle the program without any trouble. That was yesterday...
Today I took my first turn on the "track". It is a taped off oval on the floor of the fitness room where rehab takes place, so to call it a track is a bit of an overstatement.
The hour goes like this:
- I weigh in. Yep I actually weigh myself every time. Oh, and by the way, did I mention I have lost over 15 lbs since November 22?
- I put on the leads for my portable EKG. I will wear this every session so that they can constantly monitor my heart rhythms.
- 10 minutes of warm-up and 40 minutes of workout; again, a bit of an overstatement, gentle walking.
- Finally 5 minutes of cool-down and stretching
Went pretty well, my heat rate stayed below 110 the whole time. My BP was normal, & my blood oxygen saturation was improving. I hope to be getting much more aggressive as the weeks progress.
Okay, let's get back to the story...
Sunday, Nov. 22 - 11 am
By this point, I have gotten the blockage cleared and a stent put into my Left Anterior Descending Artery (it is called the "widowmaker"). In addition, I have a balloon pump inside my heart. It is beating in rhythm with my heart to prevent overstressing the muscle. Lucky me, apparently most people don't get to have this one.
If you are trying to picture it, I have a tube in my wrist that goes to the main artery of the most important part of the heart. I ALSO have a tube in me that goes from my leg, up the femoral artery, into my heart with a balloon on it, that is basically pumping for my heart.
I am on 100% oxygen, dopamine to keep my heart rate "low" (if you can call 90 low) and a low does morphine drip to keep the pain down.
Because of the catheter in my leg, I was on my back, with my leg cocked to the side like a figure 4 and not allowed to move for about 10-12 hours. The cramp in my leg was so bad, that 2 added doses of morphine didn't touch the stinging pain. Imagine your whole leg cramped from your hip to your knee for a few hours and you'll get a sense of how it felt. Oh, and guys....I can't get up to use the restroom, so I have one OTHER thing sticking out of me.
None of those things hurt like the chest cramps though. These were odd and no one knew why they were happening. Periodically, I would just cramp up from my chest to my waist; every muscle, every nerve ending would just fire off & contract. The pain in my breast plate was so intense I had to try breathing exercises just to get through it, I tried to deep breathe, then I settled on short, breaths making sure I got them in and out....ladies? sound familiar?...You guessed it, Ashley said it looked and sounded like I was having labor contractions. So, I guess that puts me n pretty rare company, a man who has experienced SOME degree of labor pains.
These last few days, you have read and tried to picture what a I looked and felt like. If you will come back tomorrow, you will get to SEE what I looked like & hopefully get a sense of how I felt. I'll be posting some pictures of myself in the Cardiac ICU.
God bless.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
I am writing today's post while I wait for my fist cardiac rehab meeting. It seems this will just be an introductory meeting, but I will tell you all about it tomorrow.
Sunday, Nov. 22 - 9:15 am
I am awake and aware as the EMT's roll me into the ER. My angel is right there beside me, Ashley beat the ambulance to the hospital and was standing there waiting. Next thing I know, there ae people sticking stuff in me and on me; there are people pulling stuff off me and out of me. All I remember hearing at first is, "Do we have nitroglycerine ready?"
Now, what I didn't see was the conversation between the EMT and Ashley. This was the point at which she found out my heart stopped in the ambulance. Her account was this:
EMT - "Ma'am I need to talk to you. Can we go into this conference room."
Ashley - "No, we can talk RIGHT HERE."
(Apparently she felt, "the conference room" would bring worse news)
EMT - "Your husband had a 'v-tac' seizure (for us laymen...this is 'his heart stopped')
Ashley - (Sitting on the floor now) "I need to go see my husband"
Conversation over...
Now, the next thing I remember is when Ashley FINALLY let it out. Our good friend, a Pediatric ICU doctor arrived. His face was apparently one of sadness and worry.
Now, understand that this man sees all manner of sad and disturbing medical conditions in CHILDREN. In all of this, he is a rock. He is calm and undaunted. So, when Ashley saw his face, she finally let out a cry & held him for comfort.
I tell you this not to highlight Ashley's reaction, or to add drama. I tell you this detail to highlight her absolute strength throughout this whole ordeal. It took that last straw, fear in the eyes of a professional to finally break her for a moment.
After about 20 minutes of evaluation and stabilization in the ER, it was determined that I needed to go to the catheterization lab to clear the block in my artery. At that point I was awake for about 5-10 more minutes. The last thing I remember is a nurse in the Catheterization lab telling me I would be okay, and connecting yet another IV tube to my right arm.
I guess that would be where I need to stop and invite you back tomorrow.
No lesson to learn today, other than this: you never know when you will need to be the strong person in a relationship and when you need to let your partner be the rock. Be ready, be willing and know that even a rock needs support sometimes.
Sunday, Nov. 22 - 9:15 am
I am awake and aware as the EMT's roll me into the ER. My angel is right there beside me, Ashley beat the ambulance to the hospital and was standing there waiting. Next thing I know, there ae people sticking stuff in me and on me; there are people pulling stuff off me and out of me. All I remember hearing at first is, "Do we have nitroglycerine ready?"
Now, what I didn't see was the conversation between the EMT and Ashley. This was the point at which she found out my heart stopped in the ambulance. Her account was this:
EMT - "Ma'am I need to talk to you. Can we go into this conference room."
Ashley - "No, we can talk RIGHT HERE."
(Apparently she felt, "the conference room" would bring worse news)
EMT - "Your husband had a 'v-tac' seizure (for us laymen...this is 'his heart stopped')
Ashley - (Sitting on the floor now) "I need to go see my husband"
Conversation over...
Now, the next thing I remember is when Ashley FINALLY let it out. Our good friend, a Pediatric ICU doctor arrived. His face was apparently one of sadness and worry.
Now, understand that this man sees all manner of sad and disturbing medical conditions in CHILDREN. In all of this, he is a rock. He is calm and undaunted. So, when Ashley saw his face, she finally let out a cry & held him for comfort.
I tell you this not to highlight Ashley's reaction, or to add drama. I tell you this detail to highlight her absolute strength throughout this whole ordeal. It took that last straw, fear in the eyes of a professional to finally break her for a moment.
After about 20 minutes of evaluation and stabilization in the ER, it was determined that I needed to go to the catheterization lab to clear the block in my artery. At that point I was awake for about 5-10 more minutes. The last thing I remember is a nurse in the Catheterization lab telling me I would be okay, and connecting yet another IV tube to my right arm.
I guess that would be where I need to stop and invite you back tomorrow.
No lesson to learn today, other than this: you never know when you will need to be the strong person in a relationship and when you need to let your partner be the rock. Be ready, be willing and know that even a rock needs support sometimes.
Monday, December 14, 2015
SO, this blog is a diary of my recovery from a severe heart attack on Nov. 22, 2015.
I am very late in getting the first post out. I hope you will forgive me the delay given that we have over 45 weeks of this left before next Thanksgiving.
To be a true diary, we need to start at the beginning. I will catch up and be discussing my present day condition soon, but for now, let's review.
Sunday, Nov. 22 - 7:30am
Headed to the store for milk, I felt some heartburn. Yep, heartburn JUST like I have felt a thousand times before. Get to store, get milk, get home...get nauseous.
Okay, I should have KNOWN then and said something, but I am a bit stubborn.
(Now all of my close friends are going, "Noooooooooo, YOU?!?")
Within10 minutes, my angel, my wife (yes, one and the same) was calling 911 to report her husband's heart attack.
In come the EMTs 4 minutes later.
In minutes, I am walking to the gurney and in the ambulance. I mention that I walked there because of what happens next....1/2 way to the hospital, I coded. That means my heart stopped beating. For 2 minutes, I pretended I was a Resuscitation Annie doll letting the EMTs practice their CPR skills on me. After that and a shock from the defibrillator, I was back. Those EMT's did such a GREAT job that I was awake and aware by the time we got to the hospital. This is a total of a 10 minute ride.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday, the pain, the fear, and the absolute, ABSOLUTE strength of my wife, Ashley.
To keep this from being too long for day 1, I am going to cut off here and invite you back to see what happened in the ER and the operating room...
I will tell you it included LOTS of people, words like nitroglycerine, and the first outburst of anger from Ashley.
Lesson Learned - If there is ANY concern for a serious health emergency, don't play tough guy. Call and be glad if it is just a false alarm. If I had "toughed it out" they'd have been doing CPR on my front lawn.
I am very late in getting the first post out. I hope you will forgive me the delay given that we have over 45 weeks of this left before next Thanksgiving.
To be a true diary, we need to start at the beginning. I will catch up and be discussing my present day condition soon, but for now, let's review.
Sunday, Nov. 22 - 7:30am
Headed to the store for milk, I felt some heartburn. Yep, heartburn JUST like I have felt a thousand times before. Get to store, get milk, get home...get nauseous.
Okay, I should have KNOWN then and said something, but I am a bit stubborn.
(Now all of my close friends are going, "Noooooooooo, YOU?!?")
Within10 minutes, my angel, my wife (yes, one and the same) was calling 911 to report her husband's heart attack.
In come the EMTs 4 minutes later.
In minutes, I am walking to the gurney and in the ambulance. I mention that I walked there because of what happens next....1/2 way to the hospital, I coded. That means my heart stopped beating. For 2 minutes, I pretended I was a Resuscitation Annie doll letting the EMTs practice their CPR skills on me. After that and a shock from the defibrillator, I was back. Those EMT's did such a GREAT job that I was awake and aware by the time we got to the hospital. This is a total of a 10 minute ride.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday, the pain, the fear, and the absolute, ABSOLUTE strength of my wife, Ashley.
To keep this from being too long for day 1, I am going to cut off here and invite you back to see what happened in the ER and the operating room...
I will tell you it included LOTS of people, words like nitroglycerine, and the first outburst of anger from Ashley.
Lesson Learned - If there is ANY concern for a serious health emergency, don't play tough guy. Call and be glad if it is just a false alarm. If I had "toughed it out" they'd have been doing CPR on my front lawn.
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